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Thread: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

  1. #1
    RZ Chamber of Commerce Unassisted's Avatar
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    Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Ex-SNLer and erstwhile movie star Rob Schneider didn't appreciate an off-hand comment that LA Times movie critic Patrick Goldstein made in a recent column. So he purchased full-page ads in yesterday's issues of the LA Times and Variety. Here's what Rob had to say.

    Dear Patrick Goldstein, Staff Writer for the Los Angeles Times, My name is Rob Schneider and I am responding to your January 26th front page cover story in the LA Times, where you used my upcoming sequel to ‘Deuce Bigalow’ as an example of why Hollywood Studios are lagging behind the Independents in Academy nominations. According to your logic, Hollywood Studios are too busy making sequels like “Deuce Bigalow’ instead of making movies that you would like to see.
    Well Mr. Goldstein, as far as your snide comments about me and my film not being nominated for an Academy Award, I decided to do some research to find what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind, Disappointed, I went to the Pulitzer Prize database of past winners and nominees. I though, surely, there must be an omission. I typed in the name Patrick Goldstein and again, zippo—nada. No Pulitzer Prizes or nominations for a ‘Mr. Patrick Goldstein.’ There was, however, a nomination for an Amy Goldstein. I contacted Ms. Goldstein in Rhode Island, she assured me she was not an alias of yours and in fact like most of the World had no idea of your existence.

    Frankly, I am surprised the LA Times would hire someone like you with so few or, actually, no accolades to work on their front page. Surely there must be a larger talent pool for the LA Times to draw from. Perhaps, someone who has at least won a ‘Cable Ace Award.’

    Maybe, Mr. Goldstein, you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for “Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter, Who’s Never Been Acknowledged By His Peers!”

    Patrick, I can honestly say that if I sat you your colleagues at a luncheon, afterwards, they’d say “You know, that Rob Schneider is a pretty intelligent guy, I hope we can do that again.” Whereas, if you sat with my colleagues, after lunch, you would just be beaten beyond recognition.

    For the record, Patrick, your research is shabby as well. My next film is not ‘Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 2.’ It’s ‘Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,’ in theaters EVERYWHERE August 12th 2005.

    All my best,
    Rob Schneider
    You can go here and scroll to the bottom if you want to read the original remark that unleashed Hurricane Rob.
    /r/reds

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  3. #2
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Well the critic did take it personal with the 3rd rate comic bit
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  4. #3
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Rob Schneider stopped being funny the minute he left SNL. Sad, too, because his old stand-up routine was really good, and he was a decent performer on SNL.

    This was just a promotional stunt on Schneider's part.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  5. #4
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    I hope Rob feels better now. I'm sure this has enamored him with all Hollywood critics and they'll go out of their way to praise his films now.

    Pay attention to the open sky

  6. #5
    For a Level Playing Field RedFanAlways1966's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Would Rob be called Rabbit Ears in Hollywood? Maybe Bugs Schneider will work?
    Small market fan... always hoping, but never expecting.

  7. #6
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    He seems pretty tense for a gigolo.
    Makes all the routine posts.

  8. #7
    CELEBRATION TIME RBA's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Footstool
    Rob Schneider stopped being funny the minute he left SNL. Sad, too, because his old stand-up routine was really good, and he was a decent performer on SNL.

    This was just a promotional stunt on Schneider's part.
    Was he really funny on SNL? I didn't think so.

  9. #8
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Was he really funny on SNL?
    Granted, that "Robmeister" character ("check out Steve, makin' copies") was awful, but some of his lesser-known characters were very funny. I liked "The Sensitive Naked Guy" character. He also did a great job in bit parts, because he was able to add jokes without going over-the-top.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  10. #9
    Member Cedric's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Schnieder is great. Love his work. Seriously, is there anything worse than a critic?
    This is the time. The real Reds organization is back.

  11. #10
    Posting in Dynarama M2's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    A friend of mine and I actually came up with the theory that Rob Schneider is the David Cronenberg of comedy. All of his films seem to involve the human body going into revolt.
    Baseball isn't a magic trick ... it doesn't get spoiled if you figure out how it works. - gonelong

    I'm witchcrafting everybody.

  12. #11
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    All of his films seem to involve the human body going into revolt.
    I agree. My body goes into revolt every time I see one of his films.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  13. #12
    Man Pills
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Instead of a full-page ad, why not an APB on his career?

    (Couldn't resist.)

  14. #13
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    He's still funny in bit roles, but he just can't carry a movie by himself.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  15. #14
    Where's my chair? REDREAD's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    Never was much of a fan of his. Never saw any of the movies where he was the main star. Mainly have seen him in bit role in Sly Stalone movies..

    But his rebuttal was supposed to be funny, but it really wasn't. Would've been funnier if it wasn't so long winded and went into name calling.
    Thank you Walt and Bob for going for it in 2010-2014!

    Nov. 13, 2007: One of the greatest days in Reds history: John Allen gets the boot!

  16. #15
    Tired of talk. Win! Joseph's Avatar
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    Re: Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

    While I agree Rob isn't exactly a name that carries a movie, I think he was more than justified in doing this. Critics, as a group, serve little to no purpose. They are rarely entertaining, they have never swayed my opinion on a film/tv show/book etal, and most of the time they are obnoxious and just trying to make a name for themselves.

    Oh well.


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