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Thread: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

  1. #1
    Just The Big Picture macro's Avatar
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    Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    This thread may end up falling flat or it may end up wildly popular, I don't know. But I had a few minutes on my hands and thought I'd share.

    A friend and I were reminiscing about our college days a few nights ago, and he brought up the story of Dome Stick Beer. He, a girl friend we were hanging out with at the time, and I walked into a bar one night and were contemplating what we were going to have to drink. Our girl friend says "I think I'll have a Dome Stick".

    My friend and I looked puzzled at one another and then asked her how she knew about this new brand. She said, "I haven't heard of it, but it's on sale for $1.00". She pointed to the handwritten sign nailed to the wall.

    Sure enough, there it was, a sign reading "ALL DOMESTIC BEERS $1.00"



    What funny stuff have you heard people say?

    Help stamp out, eliminate, and do away with redundancy.

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  3. #2
    Member ochre's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    trade encarnacion, keep randa.
    4009



  4. #3
    Pre-tty, pre-tty good!! MWM's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Grape works as a soda. Sort of as a gum. I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie. Grape pie? There's no grape pie. - Larry David

  5. #4
    For a Level Playing Field RedFanAlways1966's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Sea Shell City

    Small market fan... always hoping, but never expecting.

  6. #5
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    A guy I knew in college once said, "I can predict the future. I'm a psychopath."
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  7. #6
    Member 919191's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Back about 16 years ago, I dated a girl who knew nothing about baseball. I had a Reds game on TV but wasn't paying attention. She asked what the home red was. I asked her what she meant. Later on she said "Look- there he is again- the home red!' I looked at the screen and A reds hitter was up and the graphics read "Homered"! She thought he bore the title "home red".

  8. #7
    The wino and I know bucksfan's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Way way back in college days, we were sitting around (at the Out'r'Inn for those familiar with the Ohio State scene) doing what we did best - drink those 70-cent Natural Light longnecks, talking about sports and watching girls and talking about girls and watching sports.

    Anyway, one particular good looking, fairly short and compact girl walked past. My one buddy (who creek knows so well) just blurted out,

    "You know, a taller body would accentuate..."

    (at this point all of our jaws were dropping because he used the word "accentuate"! - we could not wait to hear what eloquent analysis of this particular female would come next! - unfortunately he continued) -

    "....the goodness of her butt."

    I don't think any of us could talk or even breathe for about 20 minutes.
    "I'm virtually free to do whatever I want, but I try to remember so is everybody else..." - Todd Snider

  9. #8
    Member ochre's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    We had a 80something lady as a teacher while learning German in the army. She was a very sweet old lady. Towards the end of our time there she recounted a story of an encounter she had with a student in a previous class. She told it to us all in German of course, but the gist of it was the student was very polite and used all of the proper forms when attempting to ask her to move so he could sweep the room. The only problem was that he mixed up the verbs; instead of using the verb stören he used zerstören. One means bother, the other means destroy.

    "Ma'am, may I please destroy you?"
    4009



  10. #9
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    If it hadn't of been for my horse, I'd have never made it through that first year of college.

  11. #10
    Dunnilicious creek14's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Quote Originally Posted by bucksfan
    Way way back in college days, we were sitting around (at the Out'r'Inn for those familiar with the Ohio State scene) doing what we did best - drink those 70-cent Natural Light longnecks, talking about sports and watching girls and talking about girls and watching sports.

    Anyway, one particular good looking, fairly short and compact girl walked past. My one buddy (who creek knows so well) just blurted out,

    "You know, a taller body would accentuate..."

    (at this point all of our jaws were dropping because he used the word "accentuate"! - we could not wait to hear what eloquent analysis of this particular female would come next! - unfortunately he continued) -

    "....the goodness of her butt."

    I don't think any of us could talk or even breathe for about 20 minutes.
    Remind him that I am tall...
    Will trade this space for a #1 starter.

  12. #11
    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Creed rocks

  13. #12
    Cruisin' for trouble
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    At my wedding rehearsal, I made some sort of joke to my wife about having some sympathy for losing my bachelor standing.

    My mom piped up - at a church, in front of both families - "Son, sympathy can be found in the dictionary somewhere between sh?t and shynola."

    My mom, the English professor.

  14. #13
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    My brother, to me, in a snit, "I've got more brains in my whole body than you have in your little pinky!"

    Braging about his guitar playing, he claimed that he had "inept ability" and that he's very "autistic".

    On a San Francisco bus, two withered hillbilly-ish women get on and sit across from a saucer-eyed, acid-casualty with a very full beard. One of the women looks at him and says out loud, "He looks like the wolfman!". The other, trying to soften her friends rude comment with a joke, says, "he wishes he had the wolfman's money."

    From that day forward, my friends and I will speak of someone being "wolfman rich".
    The widow is gathering nettles for her children's dinner; a perfumed seigneur, delicately lounging in the Oeil de Boeuf, hath an alchemy whereby he will extract the third nettle and call it rent. ~ Carlyle

  15. #14
    Just The Big Picture macro's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    Back in the days before cheap disposable lighters, it wasn't uncommon for smokers to carry matches. One day someone asked "Does anyone have a match?" to which a friend of mine replied "Yeah, I've got a match -- your butt and my face!"

    Help stamp out, eliminate, and do away with redundancy.

  16. #15
    Score Early, Score Often gonelong's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff You've Heard People Say

    In a staff meeting (all guys) one of the manager was trying to say "misdirection" and kept emphasizing the syllabals so that is sounded as if he as was saying "missed erection". The word misd ... erection as is used each and every week in our staff meeting for several years running now.

    GL


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