But how many times have we heard that after some sort of tragedy happens like this, where others close to that person(s) say that there was no way they could believe that "so and so", knowing them for years, could be capable of doing such a thing?Originally Posted by registerthis
Many friends, relatives, and neighbors are saying the same thing about the 18 yr old here in Bellefontaine who shocked this whole community last weekend with the multiple murders/sucide.
Now, several days later, as more and more pieces are being put together, they are finding out things weren't as they seemed/appeared on the outside.
I was talking with a group of friends the other day after this tragedy occurred here in Bellefontaine. And a vast majority of them are my age (50-ish).
We look at what is going on within our society today, and mainly with our youth, and in our public schools, and that we are consistently reading almost on a day to day basis of tragedies like this involving our youth, and it made us reflect back (in a comparative way) when we were growing up in the 50's/60's.
No, we didn't live in an ideal society. It wasn't Ozzie & Harriet or Leave It To Beaver. But it also wasn't Roseanne or the Simpsons either.
When it came to our youth, and the public schools, we didn't have the threat of a Columbine ....or seeing 9 yr olds stabbing a playmate over a playground dispute... we didn't need metal detectors in our schools because the only thing being shot was spitballs and paperclips.... weapons, while just as plentiful then as today, weren't being brought to school... and any schoolyard fights that did occur (and there were plenty) were settled with fists. And they ususally ended when someone got popped in the nose, there was that first sight of blood, and clothes got torn (Mom's fury would then be worse then what your opponent gave you). But you never thought of going home, getting Dad's gun or some other weapon, and finding that kid the next day and blowing him away. In fact, you were probable going to end up being friends with them again at some point.
IMO ... there is the lack of discipline in both the home and the schools. And when I say discipline, I am not referring to this "spare the rod and spoil the child" type of beating on them (abuse). Though I do believe, when the situation is appropriate, of spanking a child, and that along with that goes positive reinforcement.
How many post WW2 baby boomers on here ever got spanked in the home, or cracked while in school? Can I get a witness?
I did. And it didn't leave me emotionally scarred. Looking back on those situations now, I deserved them. I learned from those situations. And it also let me know who was in control. I also learned to respect authority, whether it was parental or in the school, and who was in control.
I saw that there were consequences for my actions. Do today's kids see that?
That's the problem IMO... who has control? What has been taken away from the parents and the school systems?
Back then, we weren't exposed to all that kids are now. We didn't have all the distractions that kids have now. And I really feel sorry for alot of the youth today because it seems with such things as video games, MP3 players, and such, they leave nothing for the kid's imagination. Kids today are told what/how to think. Children today are being overwhelmed IMO. There is more and more pressure on them.
We had our share of questionable stuff going on back then too. But then, I can remember when we only had 4-5 channels on TV. And some of those were on UHF, and it depended on the weather that day as far as picking up channels.
But our parents did their job and said "No!". Some things we were allowed to gradually experience as we got older, and could handle more. I hated it that my older sister got to do things that I couldn't. But it was still a parental decision with no debate/discussion. The parents took that repsonsibility seriously. Do parents today, as a whole, so the same? Or are they too overwhelmed? We didn't always like it (we're kids - we weren't suppose to). But I fully understand now, having teenagers of my own, WHY my parents did it.
If we don't protect our children today from alot that is being thrown out them, and what they are being exposed to... then who will?
Parents today give in too easily to their kids. And maybe there is some guilt associated with that when alot of times they are both working outside the home, and they can't give the kids the attention they need.
Simply put - we allow other things to enter our kid's lives and replace the things we, as parents, should be giving our kids. And it has been a terrible trade-off IMO.
And in the area of discipline, nowadays, whether in the home or at school, you do something to a kid and you have social services, children services, and the local authorities coming after you and investigating you. And anymore, the kids know this, and use it to their advantage.
And I'm sorry; but in our materialistic society, where both the parents are working outside the home... who is raising the kids during those formative years when they are so impressionable and looking for that guidance/mentoring? If they are not getting it consistently from a Mom or Dad, then where or who are they looking to?
And a divorce rate of over 50% doesn't help matters any either.
The breakdown of family is the cause IMO of what we are seeing going on. And no one is gonna change my mind otherwise.