Bah! Mary Jane Watson couldn't carry Gwen Stacey's go-go boots. Ok...ok...so Gwen did cheat on Peter with Norman Osborne (resulting in two kids). But she was still hotter.
Lana Lang was hotter than Lois seven days a week.
I haven't seen the new Batman film yet, but I would have figured that Talia (Ra's Al Ghul's daughter) would have been in the thick of things as Batman's love interest.
She and the Dark Knight did, after all, conceive a child.
But then, both Marvel and DC do cruddy work with girlfriends, wives, and love interests.
Heck, Alicia Masters proved to us all that only a blind woman would love someone who looked like The Thing. And get this- Johnny Storm ended up marrying Alicia...or so he thought...(more later)
The best squeeze Matt Murdock ever had was falsely told she had AIDS when Mysterio tangled with DD. That was a lie of course, but then Bullseye showed up and Karen Page died in Daredevil's arms. Ol' hornhead did have a fling or two with Elektra, but she always runs off. Now she's been killed by the Gorgon and reanimated by Hydra. Nice treatment there, gang. To top it all off, the blind lawyer found a blind chick he dug and ended up marrying her. Of course, he also went nuts from stress and she asked him for a divorce. Don't agree to marry crazy costumed vigilantes. That's bad.
Betty Ross loved Bruce Banner, but the whole father in law thing would have never worked out in the first place as old Thunderbolt Ross' main mission in life was to kill the Hulk.
Sue Storm could have turned her clothes invisible for any man on the planet, but chooses Reed Richards to be the lucky guy. He should have used the Ultimate Nullifier when he first faced Galactus. Would have blinked Galactus AND himself out of existence. Two birds. One stone.
While we're talking about the fab four freaks from Four Freedom's plaza, Johnny Storm got it on with Crystal from the Inhumans. She was a cutie all right. But she had to return to her home because she couldn't handle New York smog. Crystal ended up marrying Pietro Maximoff and that marriage fell apart as it was destined to because Pietro is a jerk. So Johnny moved on and ended up with Ben's old squeeze...or so he thought...Alicia Masters. Even married her. Problem is that the chick he married wasn't Alicia. She was a Skrull. There goes that one, but at least it wasn't Johnny's fault. He hooked up with a chick named Frankie Raye as well. She was cool. Then Galactus showed up and she left Johnny to become his new Herald. This again demonstrates the Reed should have used the Ultimate Nullifier. For a smart guy, Reed's pretty stupid.
Jean Grey keeps dying. Professor X loves Lilandra of the Shi'ar, but the drawback is that she needs to preen her feathers in another galaxy most of the day, leaving little time for Chuck. Oh, that, and her sister keeps trying to off everyone in sight. Marvel even killed off Wolvie's sweetie, Mariko. Snikt. Who knows if Peter Rasputin will FINALLY make it with Kitty Pryde before he gets offed again. In any case, Kitty's been waiting since before she was even legal.
Henry Pym's main relationship claim to fame is beating up his wife. And speaking of dysfunctional relationships, Wanda Maximoff married a dang Android, cheated on him with a dead guy, fabricated two kids she never had, went crazy (yes, redundant I know) and killed her hubby, Ant Man, and Hawkeye and messed a whole lot of other stuff up for the Marvel Universe by changing reality all over the place.
Over at DC, things weren't any better...
Even when they were together, the Black Canary and Green Arrow needed couples counseling.
Dick Grayson sorta had a thing for Barbara Gordon, but never even kissed her until AFTER the Joker plunked a slug into her spine; paralyzing one of the most interesting characters around. Of course, now she's another one of the most interesting characters around. But still. Leave her alone!
Ralph Dibney's wife Sue? Raped by Dr. Light, and then killed years later by the ex-wife of the Atom. Yeah. Fun.
Kyle Rayner's girlfriend? Killed by Major Force and stuffed into a refrigerator right after Rayner donned a certain green ring. He later got together with Alan Scott's emerald-hued daughter which seemed to be a match made in Oa. Eh. Broke up.
Metamorpho died. Came back to life though because heck, how can a being made of pure elements really die? Problem was that before he came back a piece of him animated itself, gained sentience and started dating an android alien chick. Not saying that it's a bad thing, but consider how messed up that'll make a robot chick from another planet.
Barry Allen gave his life to save the universe. But not before Professor Zoom killed Iris Allen. Then Wally West started dating and finally got it right with Linda Park. Problem was that Abra Kadabra blinked her out of existence, erasing her from the mind of everyone but Bart Allen. And, like anyone would believe him. That all got resolved and then Hal Jordan shows up wearing his Spectre suit, grants Wally's wish that everything change and Linda ends up forgetting HIM. Bwahahahahaha!!!!
And that's why I like Bruce Wayne's way of doing things. No mess. No committments. No problems like chicks getting killed or stolen by huge cosmic-powered planet eaters or blinked out of existence. His love-em-and-leave-em style really protects the girls in his life and keeps things less complicated for him.
Well, unless we consider all that back child support he's going to have to pay...someday...
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Originally Posted by WilyMoROCKS
