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Thread: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

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  1. #1
    C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WVRed's Avatar
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    Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    I'll make plans not to watch this one.

    Britney Spears to Deliver Baby Live in September
    By Chip Hilton
    Jul 23, 2005, 10:17
    HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears, not content to let her sister, Jamie-Lynn, break the news that Britney is due to give birth to her first baby in September, announced yesterday that the birth will be televised on a special two-hour live segment of her reality show, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic. Spears told reporters that she was "taking this high-risk artistic move in an effort to claim ownership of our own miracle."

    "Rather than allowing the False Tabloids?© to control and distort the coverage of this unique event," said Spears, "we have decided to provide our fans with the actual raw, maybe even yucky, footage and let them come to their own conclusions."

    Spears' publicist, Sonia Muckle, immediately praised the decision for its courage and artistic daring.

    "This is an Emmy-worthy innovation," said Muckle. "No artist but Britney would have the courage to be this vulnerable."

    Officials at Viacomóthe eight-hundred-pound entertainment gorilla that owns the UPN Network, MTV, and Comedy Central, among other propertiesówere predictably delighted by Spears' announcement.

    "We expect ad revenues for this unprecedented live event to reach Super Bowl proportions," said Viacom chairman and CEO, Sumner Redstone. "Britney is capable of delivering not only a baby girl but also the coveted thirteen-to-seventeen-year-old-male demographic like no other performer, pregnant or otherwise."

    Redstone was quick to point out that Spears' delivery would be handled "entertainingly, not like some dull educational production on the Discovery Channel." The Kevin Federline Dancers will open and close the show. MTV news correspondent and hip-hop artist Sway Calloway will handle play-by-play announcing. Color commentary will be provided by The Daily Show's host, Jon Stewart. Paris Hilton has been signed to do roving interviews outside the CBS studio where the delivery will take place.

    "With a lineup like that, the show will be a smash even if the baby's born with a club foot," joked comedienne and fashionista Joan Rivers. After making a tasteless comment about finding out whether Britney is a real blonde, Rivers added, "I pity the person who has to do the makeup and comb-out for that gig."

    In addition to being covered live no matter when it occurs, Spears' delivery will go into heavy rotation on MTV, VH-1, Comedy Central, and The Sundance Channel..
    Quote Originally Posted by savafan View Post
    I've read books about sparkling vampires who walk around in the daylight that were written better than a John Fay article.

  2. #2
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    Please tell me you found this on the onion or some similar site.
    My dad got to enjoy 3 Reds World Championships by the time he was my age. So far, I've only gotten to enjoy one. Step it up Redlegs!

  3. #3
    Dunnilicious creek14's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    ^
    l
    l

    I sure hope that's the case, sava. (By the way, I am putting together that list for you.)
    Will trade this space for a #1 starter.

  4. #4
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    This isn't nearly enough for me. I want to see her raise this lucky child.

    Let's do a Truman spinoff with Brittney.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  5. #5
    Smells Like Teen Spirit jmcclain19's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    I really think this is the niche that's lacking in the reality TV world - Live births.

  6. #6
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    This is just so sad.
    Go Gators!

  7. #7
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    This has "The Onion" written all over it. No way it's true.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  8. #8
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    Seems to be some truth to this potentially.

    http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlf...irth%20on%20tv

    Pop sensation BRITNEY SPEARS has reportedly agreed to screen the birth of her baby on the next series of her reality TV show BRITNEY AND KEVIN: CHAOTIC.

    In a bid to beat pop rival JESSICA SIMPSON's show NEWLYWEDS, the MY PREROGATIVE hitmaker has decided to allow cameras at the intimate moment, to boost lacklustre ratings.

    The baby is due later this year (05) and will be Spears' first child and husband KEVIN FEDERLINE's third.

    A source told British tabloid The Daily Star, "Britney was in two minds about the birth even after she'd decided to do a one-off special to introduce the little one to the world.

    "It'd be a follow-up to the series and also a great record for them. It's just like the proud dad taping the event.

    "Cameras won't roll through the most intimate parts but there will be scenes included."
    My dad got to enjoy 3 Reds World Championships by the time he was my age. So far, I've only gotten to enjoy one. Step it up Redlegs!

  9. #9
    CELEBRATION TIME RBA's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    "Cameras won't roll through the most intimate parts but there will be scenes included."
    You'll probably have to wait for the DVD version.

  10. #10
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    Nope, not buying it. This quote:

    "taking this high-risk artistic move in an effort to claim ownership of our own miracle."
    Just seemed too damn silly. An "artistic move"?

  11. #11
    Member CrackerJack's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    I can't believe she's even thinking of using the birth of her baby to make money and increase her popularity etc..,

    How utterly self-centered of her.

    Sad.

  12. #12
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    Quote Originally Posted by CrackerJack
    I can't believe she's even thinking of using the birth of her baby to make money and increase her popularity etc..,

    How utterly self-centered of her.

    Sad.
    Dear CrackerJack:

    We are little taken aback by the forcefulness of your comments. Can you really fault Britney for simply giving the public what they want?

    Sincerely,

    Trista and Ryan

    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  13. #13
    Big Red Machine RedsBaron's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    The above story may be fake. Of course, it wouldn't shock me if she wanted to televise the conception and the birth of her child.
    "Hey...Dad. Wanna Have A Catch?" Kevin Costner in "Field Of Dreams."

  14. #14
    Just The Big Picture macro's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    Quote Originally Posted by RedsBaron
    Of course, it wouldn't shock me if she wanted to televise the conception ...
    Well, she simulated the act of conception on a regular basis during her concerts, complete with actual beds (plural) and all, so what you're talking about would only be the same thing minus a few threads of clothing.

    I think the original story in this thead is satire, but this person absolutely disgusts me, regardless.

    Help stamp out, eliminate, and do away with redundancy.

  15. #15
    C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WVRed's Avatar
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    Re: Britney Spears to give birth LIVE on television

    I just wonder if Britney has given up smoking yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by savafan View Post
    I've read books about sparkling vampires who walk around in the daylight that were written better than a John Fay article.


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