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Thread: Alcohol makes you smarter

  1. #1
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Alcohol makes you smarter

    http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117...-13762,00.html

    REGULARLY having a glass of wine or two with dinner could sharpen your dinner party conversation.

    Abstain altogether, or drink too much, and you could be a dullard.
    People who average two alcoholic drinks a day are better thinkers than teetotallers and very heavy drinkers, according to research.

    An Australian National University study of 7000 people has found those who drink in moderation have better verbal skills, memory and speed of thinking than those at the extremes of the drinking spectrum.

    Researchers say it is a mystery why. The study overturns conventional belief that alcohol kills brain cells, leaving drinkers less well off in the brains department.

    Researcher Dr Bryan Rodgers said people who drink moderate amounts also seem to be healthier, physically and mentally.
    "The research looked at factors including physical health, personality, social lives, social supports, friendships and enemies, and yet these did not explain it," he said. "It's a mystery."

    He said there appeared to be no social factors - such as better education of one group - that could explain the phenomenon.

    The survey was conducted on more than 7000 Canberra and Queanbeyan residents. They were sober at the time.

    Moderate alcohol consumption was considered to be 14 to 28 standard drinks a week for men and seven to 14 drinks a week for women.
    This is the Cal Ripkin Jr. of typos.

    If you ask me to join your fantasy baseball league and I select Legolas in the first round, don't be angry at me. It's not my fault I've read up on the players and you haven't.

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  3. #2
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    They've also done studies that suggest that people who have at least experimented with marijuana tend to be more emotionally and socially healthy.

    Basically, what it argues is what most of us know: moderation in all things, even "transgressive" things, is probably best.

  4. #3
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    They were sober at the time.


    So, what they weren't sober later?

    Rem

  5. #4
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    I'm planning on getting really smart tonight.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  6. #5
    Member 15fan's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Here's my theory:

    Natural selection.

    Alcohol attacks the weakest brain cells first and kills them off. That leaves only the stronger/smarter/better brain cells to operate unfettered from the constraints of the dead weight cells that were holding back the rest of the brain.

    The problem with too much alcohol, though, is that it then weakens all of the brain cells. When the weak cells have been killed, the alcohol has no choice but to begin targeting the stronger brain cells.

    Hangovers the next morning are the body's way of telling you that it's ok to purge the brain of the laggard cells, but you have to draw the line so that you don't kill off the good cells, too.

    And yes, I am in fact an educated neuropsychologist.

  7. #6
    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Alcohol makes you smarter
    And purty.

  8. #7
    Score Early, Score Often gonelong's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Quote Originally Posted by savafan
    http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117...-13762,00.html

    An Australian National University study of 7000 people has found those who drink in moderation have better verbal skills, memory and speed of thinking than those at the extremes of the drinking spectrum.

    Researchers say it is a mystery why. The study overturns conventional belief that alcohol kills brain cells, leaving drinkers less well off in the brains department.
    Let me solve that mystery for you. Smart people tend to drink in moderation.

    GL

  9. #8
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    as told by Cliff Clavin of "Cheers"

    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. and here's how it went:

    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

    "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

    In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

    Pay attention to the open sky

  10. #9
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Tucker
    as told by Cliff Clavin of "Cheers"

    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. and here's how it went:

    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

    "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

    In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
    I knew I heard that somewhere before. Does this mean 15Fan is Cliffie?
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

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  11. #10
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Alcohol does make you smarter. It made Bud wiser.

    It also helps you lose weight. It made Miller light.

    (cue spinning bow tie)
    Last edited by Johnny Footstool; 08-04-2005 at 12:35 PM.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  12. #11
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Footstool
    Alcohol does make you smarter. It made Bud wiser.

    It also helps you lose weight. It made Miller light.
    BWAHAHAHAHA! C'mon, stop it Johnny, that's too much.

    No, really, I mean it, stop. Retain your integrity. Do not tell jokes like this. Ever.
    This is the Cal Ripkin Jr. of typos.

    If you ask me to join your fantasy baseball league and I select Legolas in the first round, don't be angry at me. It's not my fault I've read up on the players and you haven't.

  13. #12
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    No, really, I mean it, stop. Retain your integrity. Do not tell jokes like this. Ever.
    Aww, come on, sava. You know I never had integrity.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  14. #13
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    So this is why I never got good grades?!?!
    Go Gators!

  15. #14
    Puffy 3:16 Puffy's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    This also just in - -

    Alcohol also makes women prettier
    "I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of bubble gum."
    - - Rowdy Roddy Piper

    "It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong. I am not a big man"
    - - Fletch

  16. #15
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Re: Alcohol makes you smarter

    Quote Originally Posted by Puffy
    This also just in - -

    Alcohol also makes women prettier
    I dunno Puffy. I had my fiancee drink twelve bottles of Warsteiner last night, and when it was all said and done, she looked the same to me.
    This is the Cal Ripkin Jr. of typos.

    If you ask me to join your fantasy baseball league and I select Legolas in the first round, don't be angry at me. It's not my fault I've read up on the players and you haven't.


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