Turn Off Ads?
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Hot Stove Season HotCorner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    The 513
    Posts
    2,179

    Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    I don't know whether to laugh or wince ...

    http://www.channelcincinnati.com/irr...44/detail.html

    BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

    According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

    The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

    "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

    The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

    He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

    Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

  2. #2
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Olathe, KS
    Posts
    13,774

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Hazard pay for the locksmith.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  3. #3
    Hardscrabble wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    7,276

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Two weeks?

    You'd think he woulda gone to the hospital or something sooner than that.

    I remember one time......

    Aww...Forget it.
    Pray for Rain.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    Location
    Newport Beach, CA
    Posts
    8,066

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    I woner if his 'friend' was his ex-wife.

    Rem

  5. #5
    For a Level Playing Field RedFanAlways1966's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Oakwood, OH
    Posts
    11,570

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    I guess his "friend" likes to play ballgames.

    He seems to get drunk a lot. I hope, for the love of God, he was sober when he was using that hacksaw.

    Think of the number of suspicious wives who will be buying Master Locks in the next week or two.

    Can we call this whole incident a "head" lock?

    Is anyone aware that cock and lock rhyme?!? Poets, enjoy this one.
    Small market fan... always hoping, but never expecting.

  6. #6
    Little Reds BandWagon Reds Nd2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Posts
    3,244

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out.
    I guess he was locked and loaded.
    "...You just have a wider lens than one game."
    --Former Reds GM Wayne Krivsky, on why he didn't fly Josh Hamilton to Colorado for one game.

    "...its money well-spent. Don't screw around with your freedom."
    --Roy Tucker, on why you need to lawyer up when you find yourself swimming with sharks.

  7. #7
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    West N. Carolina
    Posts
    55,509

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Ouch.

    This hurts to read
    Go Gators!

  8. #8
    Where's my chair? REDREAD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    Posts
    20,748

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Maybe his friend was worried the family jewels would get stolen, so he locked them up
    Thank you Walt and Bob for going for it in 2010-2014!

    Nov. 13, 2007: One of the greatest days in Reds history: John Allen gets the boot!

  9. #9
    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Piqua
    Posts
    4,428

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    he tried to take the thing off with a hacksaw!!????!!!! geez...why not use a blow torch, or simply a piece of dynomite.


    words of wisdom: friends don't let friends put padlocks around their family jewels.

  10. #10
    Man Pills
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    24,706

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Just get your balls to the wall.

  11. #11
    Dunnilicious creek14's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Beavercreek
    Posts
    11,774

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    I'm thinking women are the only people who find this even midly amusing.
    Will trade this space for a #1 starter.

  12. #12
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    16,601

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Quote Originally Posted by creek14
    I'm thinking women are the only people who find this even midly amusing.

    I'm thinking you're right.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  13. #13
    First Time Caller SunDeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Posts
    5,349

    Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock

    Real friends don't touch another friend's package. For any reason. Period.

    What was the encore supposed to be, caulking his butt?
    Next Reds manager, second shooter. --Confirmed on Redszone.


Turn Off Ads?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Board Moderators may, at their discretion and judgment, delete and/or edit any messages that violate any of the following guidelines: 1. Explicit references to alleged illegal or unlawful acts. 2. Graphic sexual descriptions. 3. Racial or ethnic slurs. 4. Use of edgy language (including masked profanity). 5. Direct personal attacks, flames, fights, trolling, baiting, name-calling, general nuisance, excessive player criticism or anything along those lines. 6. Posting spam. 7. Each person may have only one user account. It is fine to be critical here - that's what this board is for. But let's not beat a subject or a player to death, please.

Thank you, and most importantly, enjoy yourselves!


RedsZone.com is a privately owned website and is not affiliated with the Cincinnati Reds or Major League Baseball


Contact us: Boss | GIK | BCubb2003 | dabvu2498 | Gallen5862 | LexRedsFan | Plus Plus | RedlegJake | redsfan1995 | The Operator | Tommyjohn25