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Thread: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

  1. #16
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    I've got the first 4 seasons on DVD. That, and it's on every night on TBS - I'm addicted! I just can't stop watching this show over and over.

    Some of my favorites...

    The Pony Remark

    ELAINE: What about ponies? What kind of abnormal animal is that? And those kids who had their own ponies..

    JERRY: I know, I hated those kids. In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up.

    MANYA: ..I had a pony.

    (The room is dead quiet)

    JERRY: ..Well, I didn't really mean a pony, per se.

    MANYA: (Angry) When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony, ..So, what's wrong with that?

    JERRY: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just merely expressing..

    HELEN: Should we have coffee? Who's having coffee?

    MANYA: He was a beautiful pony! And I loved him.

    JERRY: Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person that had a pony?

    MANYA: You! You said so!

    JERRY: No, see, we didn't have ponies. I'm sure at the time in Poland, they were very common. They were probably like compact cars..

    MANYA: That's it! I've had enough! (She leaves the room)

    ISAAC: Have your coffee, everyone. She's a little upset. It's been an emotional day.

    (Isaac leaves, everyone looks at Jerry)

    JERRY: I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?


    The Chinese Restaurant

    "Seinfeld - Four!"

    The Outing

    Jerry: There's been a big misunderstanding here! We did that whole thing

    for your benefit. We knew you were eavesdropping. That's why my

    friend said all that. It was on purpose! We're not gay! Not that

    there's anything wrong with that...

    George: No, of course not...

    Jerry: I mean that's fine if that's who you are...

    George: Absolutely...

    Jerry: I mean I have many gay friends...

    George: My *father* is gay...

    Sharon: Look, I know what I heard.

    Jerry: It was a *joke*...

    George: Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right

    now? Let's go! C'mon, let's go baby! C'mon!

    The Nose Job

    Audrey: It's amazing how many beautiful women live in New York. I actually

    find it kind of intimidating.

    Kramer: Well, you're as pretty as any of them, you just need a nose job.

    The Bubbleboy

    George's battle with the BB in Trivial Pursuit.

    DONALD: OK, HISTORY. THIS IS FOR THE GAME. HOW YA DOIN' OVER THERE? NOT TOO GOOD!

    GEORGE: All right BB. Let's just play... Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?

    DONALD: THAT'S A JOKE. THE MOORS.

    GEORGE: Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the MOOPS. The correct answer is, The MOOPS.

    DONALD: MOOPS? LET ME SEE THAT. THAT'S NOT MOOPS YOU JERK, IT'S MOORS. IT'S A MISPRINT.

    GEORGE: I'm sorry the card says MOOPS.

    DONALD: IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'S THE MOORS. THERE'S NO MOOPS.

    GEORGE: It's MOOPS.

    DONALD: MOORS.

    GEORGE: MOOPS,

    DONALD: MOORS!

    GEORGE: Help, someone. <BUBBLE BOY is strangling George>

    DONALD: THERE'S NO MOOPS. YOU IDIOT.

    SUSAN: Stop it. Let go of him!

    Mrs. SANGER: Donald, stop it! Now, let go of him Donald. Donald!

    DONALD: I'M GOING TO KILL HIM.

    Mrs. SANGER: Donald, ... donald...

    DONALD: MOORS. SAY MOORS!

    Mrs. SANGER: Donald, No. ... stop it ..

    <Susan bursts the bubble>

    <hissing sound and Donald's hands leave George's throat>
    Last edited by GAC; 09-26-2005 at 07:30 PM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

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  3. #17
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    Quote Originally Posted by savafan
    What was the one titled with Terri Hatcher?

    "They're real...and they're fabulous!"
    The Implants

    "They're real, and they're SPECTACULAR!"
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  4. #18
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    The Puffy Shirt

    "BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIRATE!"

    Not sure what the episode was; but it was the one about George and shrinkage... "I WAS IN THE POOL!"
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  5. #19
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    Quote Originally Posted by GAC
    The Implants

    "They're real, and they're SPECTACULAR!"
    Ah, thanks and thanks for the correction!
    This is the Cal Ripkin Jr. of typos.

    If you ask me to join your fantasy baseball league and I select Legolas in the first round, don't be angry at me. It's not my fault I've read up on the players and you haven't.

  6. #20
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamCasey
    The one about being sponge worthy.
    Where Elaine was interviewing/interogating the guy to see if he was sponge-worthy was hilarious....

    Elaine: "You gonna do something about them sideburns?"
    Guy: "Yeah, Yeah. Tommorrow, first thing."
    Elaine: "Ok. Lets go."
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  7. #21
    Administrator Boss-Hog's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    Quote Originally Posted by GAC
    The Puffy Shirt

    "BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIRATE!"

    Not sure what the episode was; but it was the one about George and shrinkage... "I WAS IN THE POOL!"
    "The Hamptons"

  8. #22
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    One of the best "George scenes" ever....
    Cut back to George attempting to explain his cowardly actions (trampling women and children in an attempt to flee a burning house) to Robin, her mother, Eric and a fireman from the back of the ambulance at the party.

    GEORGE (voice is hoarse from screaming): I...was trying to lead the way. We needed a leader! Someone to lead the way to safety.

    ROBIN: But you yelled "get out of my way"!

    GEORGE: Because! Because, as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown? Instead of castigating me, you should all be thanking me. What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where heroes are cast as villains? Brave men as cowards?

    ROBIN: But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic! I saw you knock them down! And when you ran out, you left everyone behind!

    GEORGE: Seemingly. Seemingly, to the untrained eye, I can fully understand how you got that impression. What looked like pushing...what looked like knocking down...was a safety precaution! In a fire, you stay close to the ground, am I right? And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind! Oh, quite the contrary! I risked my life making sure that exit was clear. Any other questions?

    FIREMAN: How do you live with yourself?

    GEORGE: Its not easy.
    Followed up by--in the same episode--one of the best Kramer scenes ever...

    Kramer and Jerry in Jerry's apartment (after Toby's toe was severed)

    KRAMER: What did you go up there to heckle her for?

    JERRY: Because she came down to the club and heckled me! Give her a taste of her own medicine! <George enters.>

    KRAMER: Oh, YEAH! You gave her a taste of medicine, alright.

    JERRY: Well, I didn't want her to have an accident.

    GEORGE: What accident?

    KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.

    GEORGE: That's unbelievable!

    KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.

    GEORGE: You ran?

    KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."

    GEORGE: Holy cow!

    KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!

    GEORGE: How could you do that?!

    KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.

    GEORGE: You're Batman.

    KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.

    JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?

    KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!

    GEORGE: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?

    KRAMER: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.

    GEORGE: You did all this...for a pinky toe?

    KRAMER: Well, it's a valuable appendage.
    Last edited by Blimpie; 09-27-2005 at 08:47 AM.
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  9. #23
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?

    KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
    That's just a great exchange.
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  10. #24
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    There were some good exchanges in the Smelly Car.


    When Geoerge sees Susan at the video store and discovers she's now a lesbian....

    George: Listen. Let me ask you something. If you and Mona were ever to... dance, how do you decide who leads? I mean... do you take turns? Do you discuss it beforehand? How does that work?

    Susan: You're an idiot.

    George: Why? That's a *legitimate* sociological question.

    Elaine describing the B.O. in the car....

    Elaine: Y'know I can think of at *least* six known offensive odours that

    I would *rather* smell than what's livin' in your car.

    Jerry: What about skunk?

    Elaine: I don't mind skunk.

    Jerry: Horse manure?

    Elaine: I *loooove* horse manure.

    ------------------------------------------------------------

    And the Cigar Store Indian had some hlarious stuff poking fun at political correctness, and with Jerry trying to win over the Native American girl and not have a slip of the tongue after offending her earlier with the cigar store Indian....

    JERRY: You know, I don't get it. Not allowed to ask a Chinese person where the Chinese restaurant is! I mean, aren't we all getting a little too sensitive? I mean, someone asks me which way's Israel, I don't fly off the handle.



    WINONA: So, where are we gonna go eat?

    JERRY: I thought we'd eat at the Gentle Harvest.

    WINONA: Ooh, I love that place, but it's usually so crowded. Can we get a table?

    JERRY: Ah, don't worry. I made reser... (catches himself)

    WINONA: You made what?

    JERRY: I uh, I uh, I arranged for the appropriate accommodation. And then, Knick tickets, floor seats.

    WINONA: How did you get these?

    JERRY: Got 'em on the street, from a scal... (catches himself again) A uh, one of those guys.

    WINONA: What guys?

    JERRY: You know, the guys, that uh, they sell the tickets for the sold-out
    events.

    WINONA: Oh.

    WINONA: (laughs) Oh, by the way. That TV Guide I gave you, I need it back.

    JERRY: Why?

    WINONA: Well, I'm doing a report on minorities in the media, and I wanted to use that interview with Al Roker.

    JERRY: Well, it's too late. I gave it to Elaine, and she's already on her way to give it to George's father.

    WINONA: Jerry, I really need it back. It, it is mine.

    JERRY: You can't give something and then take it back. I mean, what are you... (catches himself)

    WINONA: What?

    JERRY: A uh, a person that uh...

    WINONA: A person that what?

    JERRY: Well, a person that gives something and then they're dissatisfied and
    they wish they had, had never uh...

    WINONA: And?

    JERRY: ...give, given it to the person that they originally gave it to.

    WINONA: You mean like, an Indian giver?!

    JERRY: I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.
    Last edited by GAC; 09-28-2005 at 06:46 AM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  11. #25
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    The Bro / Manziere

    "These were some real hooters"

  12. #26
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    Kramer describing his Yankees fantasy camp game.

    "I had to plunk him"

  13. #27
    Member Reds/Flyers Fan's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    * The one where Kramer does everything in the shower, including cook

    * The one where George lies about being a marine biologist and then has to save a beached whale

    * The one with the cigar store Indian

    But my all-time favorite has to be the one when Elaine goes with Jerry to Florida to visit his parents and she is forced to sleep on a fold-out couch in a condo with no AC. It's also the one with the astronaut pen that writes upside down.

  14. #28
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    Quote Originally Posted by Reds/Flyers Fan
    * The one where Kramer does everything in the shower, including cook

    * The one where George lies about being a marine biologist and then has to save a beached whale
    "The sea was angry that day my friend"


    But my all-time favorite has to be the one when Elaine goes with Jerry to Florida to visit his parents and she is forced to sleep on a fold-out couch in a condo with no AC. It's also the one with the astronaut pen that writes upside down.
    And it is so true about old people who always have the heat on, and never run AC. They're cold in the middle of July in Florida.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  15. #29
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    I love the one where Kramer found the Old Merv Griffin Set in a dumpster and set it up in his apartment.

    One of my favorite moments was from another episode in which George bought some fruit I believe for Kramer..When George asked him for the money Kramer said " I don't carry money" Goerge replies " Don't carry money? How do you get by?" Kramer explains "Oh I get by"

    LOL I have some friends like that

  16. #30
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Favorite Seinfeld episodes?

    What was great about this show was some of the phraseology and expressions that sprung...

    "Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body." - Jerry

    "You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm." - George

    "Hawaii... The most sought-after postal route of them all. The air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to lick the stamps." - Newman

    A couple from an exchange between George and his Mother....

    "I think we really need to be in front of the television set. You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture."

    "I'm out there, George."
    "You're not out there."
    "I am too."
    "You're not out there. You can't be because I am out there. And if I see you out there there's not enough voltage in this world to electro-shock me back into coherence."

    "You know what a good mechanic is worth? You can't compare that to sex." - Jerry

    "Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?"
    "Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation." - George and Jerry

    "It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music."
    - George, on Elaine's dancing style, in "The Little Kicks"
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations


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