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Thread: This One Is For Married Men

  1. #1
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    This One Is For Married Men

    For those of us who have been married for some time, and realize we are past the stage where any other woman would want us (except the wife), what are some of the quirks and idiosyncrasies that you female better half does that drive you nuts!

    (you women can start your own thread )

    Mine?

    She's a neat freak!

    This woman could have cleaned up Chernobyl in about a week and left no sign of radioactivity.

    I've been married to her for almost 25 years -she doesn't clean - she sterilizes! This woman can be walking through a room and see a turd hanging off the back of an ant's butt (that's if ants were allowed in the house). She's got super-vision.

    I've learned to live with it because I know there is no hope for me. But I'm concerned about the other inmates (kids). Every Saturday morning is cleaning day. The kids wish they had school. She has a routine for every one of them, and it's Stalag 13 with Colonel Klink walking through with the spectacle and white glove.

    Me? I'm like Sgt Schultz sitting over in the corner saying "I know nothing, nothing!"

    Cinderella had it better with the evil sisters and step-Mom.

    Dishes have to be put into the dishwasher a certain way.

    Laundry has to be folded a specific way and placed properly in the drawers.

    The towels and washclothes have to sorted and stored according to color.

    It reminds me of boot camp!

    We have the cleanest house in the country, and yet, she still calls it a mess.

    You walk in the door and the brillance and smell of Pine Sol overcomes most visitors.

    Her Mom and sisters are this way too, so I think it is hereditary.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

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  3. #2
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Well, since my wife never reads this site, I feel safe to respond. I am married to a neat freak as well, but maybe not as extreme.

    Lately we've been having the phone book dispute. There is a telephone in the living room and one on the desk by the computer, but Heaven forbid that we keep the phone book in the living room. I have tried putting it on the end table by the couch, on the bottom shelf of the coffee table, basically anywhere handy but not in plain view. That won't cut it. We have a finished basement and that is where everything belongs. I constantly will find the phone books on top of my filing cabinet next to the computer. Now if I'm in that room, I'm most likely using the computer and I can use it to look up numbers, so I have no need of a phone book there, but I would really love to keep one in the living room as well. Is that too much to ask?

    We belong to the "Air Freshener of the Month" club. They all smell ok. Can we just settle on one kind instead of having to try a different one every other week? Or if we need to keep trying different ones, do you really need my opinion on them? My answer is always the same. "Yep, smells ok to me."

    Maybe all women are that way about the laundry folding thing. It's not enough that the towels are folded and put away, they have to be folded in a certain way. Also, can anyone explain the purpose of decorative pillows on the bed? If I'm not putting my head on it when I sleep, what good is it? That seems like a waste of money to me to buy pillows you don't actually use.

    If you are in the passenger seat, you're not driving the car. There is a reason the controls are only on one side of the car. If there is a car designed so the speedometer can't be seen from the passenger side, I want that car.

    Is anyone else married to a spouse from a different country? There's nothing like hearing your wife talking to a friend on the phone and the only word you understand out of a whole stream of mumbo jumbo is your name. Then I ask her if she was talking about me and she just smiles. I'm going to have to learn Swahili but not let her know, so I can hear what she's saying about me when she doesn't think I can understand.

    There are a few more, but I don't need to go on forever. I think that's what love is, when you find out the things that irritate you and you still stick with that person. In my wife's case, the good qualities outweigh the irritants, so I think I'll keep her.

  4. #3
    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Your wives do the laundry?

  5. #4
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    No offense, GAC...but I may have to sleep on this one for a few days prior to responding. In order to save RedsZone bandwidth, I acknowledge that we should all attempt summarize things as succintly as possible. Therefore, I should have a rough draft back to you by Monday--at the latest.
    Last edited by Blimpie; 09-30-2005 at 12:26 PM.
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  6. #5
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by westofyou
    Your wives do the laundry?
    That usually falls on me. Sometimes she will do some of it, but she doesn't like carrying the clothes up and down the steps.

  7. #6
    The wino and I know bucksfan's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by westofyou
    Your wives do the laundry?
    I'd do it if she would deem my groupings acceptable : whites + others. And now somehow our daughter has added another category to my wife's groupings that I further don't understand.
    "I'm virtually free to do whatever I want, but I try to remember so is everybody else..." - Todd Snider

  8. #7
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by bucksfan
    I'd do it if she would deem my groupings acceptable : whites + others. And now somehow our daughter has added another category to my wife's groupings that I further don't understand.
    Funny, back when I was in college, there were three groups:

    a) Dirty
    b) Funky
    c) Throw Away
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  9. #8
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by westofyou
    Your wives do the laundry?
    Actually - I was doing it as I started this thread. But when she comes home she'll review my work.

    I also clean toilets, do dishes, and scrub floors. But again - they must pass muster.

    I'm also responsible for anything that goes on outside the house as far as landscaping, cars, repairs, trash, etc.

    My wife calls it "HER house", and the inside is her domain.

    She complains when she doesn't get help, and feels she is doing it all herself (which she isn't)... and complains when I do it, because she feels it's her job.

    So basically I'm screwed!

    Since the kids are all grown up enough and in HS, I made her go out and get a job. I think hanging around the house all day was driving her nuts... and us too!
    Last edited by GAC; 09-30-2005 at 01:04 PM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  10. #9
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Blimpie
    No offense, GAC...but I may have to sleep on this one for a few days prior to responding. In order to save RedsZone bandwidth, I acknowledge that we should all attempt summarize things as succintly as possible. Therefore, I should have a rough draft back to you by Monday--at the latest.
    Does the wife have to approve it first? :
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  11. #10
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    A couple years back when chat was going real strong here on Redszone, my wife was standing behind me wanting to see what all was going on.

    She walked away laughing and thought we are all nuts! Harmless, but nuts!
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  12. #11
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by GAC
    Harmless, but nuts!
    I think that pretty much sums up redszone.

  13. #12
    Member writerdan33's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    GAC,

    No wonder you drink...
    Dan Scott, Program Director
    Host of Cruise Control
    The Drive, 104.9 FM
    Clemson, SC
    www.danscottshow.com
    ------------------------------------------------
    I'm always serious. And stop calling me Shirley...

  14. #13
    Member RedsFan75's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    My wife is a control freak. 26 years and it's getting better.

    If it's not in the budget it's not an option. "What happened to that $1.00 in your wallet". I bought a Soda. "WHAT, That's not in our budget, you better watch it"

    "Why did you fold your underwear that way, I fold it this way. Let me teach you how to fold it properly"

    Ah yes, but hey I love her and it's been a wonderful life with her even with the control issues. Her new job is taking lots of time and effort, so it's reduced the control issues a bit.
    In those things which we commit to practice we can master, and with mastery we have the freedom to use these skills whenever we desire, without this practice we are slaves to our inability.

  15. #14
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    Quote Originally Posted by RedsFan75
    My wife is a control freak. 26 years and it's getting better.

    If it's not in the budget it's not an option. "What happened to that $1.00 in your wallet". I bought a Soda. "WHAT, That's not in our budget, you better watch it"

    "Why did you fold your underwear that way, I fold it this way. Let me teach you how to fold it properly"

    Ah yes, but hey I love her and it's been a wonderful life with her even with the control issues. Her new job is taking lots of time and effort, so it's reduced the control issues a bit.
    I think the words "wife" and "control freak" go hand in hand. Mine is that way with money. She has to account for every last penny. Have you ever noticed that money for another pair of shoes can always find its way into the "budget", but a ticket to a ball game is a different story. Luckily I have found a way around that little issue. We have decided on an amount for each of us to have each month that we can spend however we want and on the first day of the month we each take that much out of the account and dispose of it in whatever way we please. Even then, there are times when she will take her allotment and buy something for the house and then try to make me feel guilty for going to a couple games with mine.

  16. #15
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: This One Is For Married Men

    My wife is a "pack-rat." I am a "chucker." Marty would call it a "titanic struggle." She actually has a trunk in our basement with every note she and her friends passed in high school.


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