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Thread: Things I learned the hard way

  1. #31
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    This is very important.

    Always.....

    No, wait.

    Never.....


    Aw, what the hell.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

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  3. #32
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Tell her you like her.

    If she doesn't call back after you leave two messages, she doesn't like you.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  4. #33
    Member SteelSD's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    -Even if you're sure your head will fit, do not attempt to crawl under an electric fence unless you are certain your ass will too.

    -Wonder bras lie.

    -If you read comics for fun, do not disclose this early on in a dating relationship. Instead, claim that you collect "pop art" for the "investment potential".

    -When your woman asks you a difficult question about her looks/weight/clothes/hair, you have implied permission to lie if necessary. But for God's sake DON'T PAUSE when you do so.

    -Trying to cover up the smell of vomit with Brut cologne just makes it smell like vomit and Brut cologne.

    -When dating a girl who wants to "save herself for marriage", do NOT ask her if she'd buy a car without a test drive first. For some reason, they don't like that analogy.
    "The problem with strikeouts isn't that they hurt your team, it's that they hurt your feelings..." --Rob Neyer

    "The single most important thing for a hitter is to get a good pitch to hit. A good hitter can hit a pitch that’s over the plate three times better than a great hitter with a ball in a tough spot.”
    --Ted Williams

  5. #34
    post hype sleeper cincinnati chili's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by 919191
    Don't wait until you are 8 years into your second marriage before you realize your first wife is still your life insurance beneficiary like I did.
    Well, at least you didn't die before you found out, right?

    Edit.... I just noticed I wasn't the first one here to make this exact same comment.
    Last edited by cincinnati chili; 11-29-2005 at 06:50 AM.
    How, then, are those people of the future—who are taking steroids every day—going to look back on baseball players who used steroids? They're going to look back on them as pioneers. They're going to look back at it and say "So what?" - Bill James, Cooperstown and the 'Roids

  6. #35
    post hype sleeper cincinnati chili's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by dman
    Bungee cords are for tying items down with. I watched Green Berets with John Wayne and decided I wanted to try that scene where they were rapelling. I hooked one end of a bungee cord through my beltloop and the other end to a tree limb and then tried "rapelling". My beltloop snapped and the "s" hook of the bungee cord ripped into my left cheek, narrowly missing my left eye. After 33 stitches to the left cheek, I learned not to do that again.

    I was 8 years old BTW.
    Talk to emergency room doctors, and they'll tell you that hooked-bungee cords should be banned from the marketplace. I took a guy to the emergency room once who about lost his eye using one of these cords for its INTENDED purpose.

    It's a common thing.
    How, then, are those people of the future—who are taking steroids every day—going to look back on baseball players who used steroids? They're going to look back on them as pioneers. They're going to look back at it and say "So what?" - Bill James, Cooperstown and the 'Roids

  7. #36
    post hype sleeper cincinnati chili's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Buy renters or homeowners insurance, and know what your policy covers and does not cover.
    How, then, are those people of the future—who are taking steroids every day—going to look back on baseball players who used steroids? They're going to look back on them as pioneers. They're going to look back at it and say "So what?" - Bill James, Cooperstown and the 'Roids

  8. #37
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by Blimpie
    Never be in TOO big of a hurry to zip up at the urinal...
    And wait for the shake.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  9. #38
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    You will spend all of your time doing one of the two following things: losing something or looking for something that is lost.

    Always put the car in Park before exiting the vehicle.

    Food, in the hands of a 2 yr old, defies the law of physics when thrown.

    Always secure the ladder BEFORE climbing onto a roof.

    When jumping your car - make sure the (-) and (+) cables are attached to the appropriate posts on the battery.

    Never trust your kid to hold anything for you while you're trying to work on it.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  10. #39
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by RFS62
    This is very important.

    Always.....

    No, wait.

    Never.....


    Aw, what the hell.
    "Always cite your sources."

    Makes all the routine posts.

  11. #40
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by SteelSD
    -Wonder bras lie.
    ... that may be, but finding out is far more than half the fun.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  12. #41
    First Time Caller SunDeck's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by cincinnati chili
    Talk to emergency room doctors, and they'll tell you that hooked-bungee cords should be banned from the marketplace. I took a guy to the emergency room once who about lost his eye using one of these cords for its INTENDED purpose.

    It's a common thing.
    Reminds me of something I learned the hard way as a firefighter:

    Never put your head in line with the recoil of a tensioned rope...



    Other things I learned (sometimes I can't believe I'm still alive):

    Always cut away from your body.

    Never straddle a hoseline (actually, that was another guy).

    Always straddle stairs (that one was me, falling into the basement).
    Next Reds manager, second shooter. --Confirmed on Redszone.

  13. #42
    Designated Threadkiller LincolnparkRed's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Ski resorts give lessons to beginners for a reason.
    Climbing down from the bridge, but keeping the torch lit until Dusty's fate is settled

  14. #43
    smells of rich mahogany deltachi8's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Strippers really dont find you THAT interesting...

    Speed is not just like drinking coffee...

    Hate in your heart will consume you...

    Tattoos really do hurt....

    If you dont really love her, dont say you do...
    Nothing to see here. Please disperse.

  15. #44
    Where's my chair? REDREAD's Avatar
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Quote Originally Posted by SteelSD
    -Wonder bras lie.
    As a big fan of B cups, I'm glad
    Thank you Walt and Bob for going for it in 2010-2014!

    Nov. 13, 2007: One of the greatest days in Reds history: John Allen gets the boot!

  16. #45
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    Re: Things I learned the hard way

    Never use a steak knife to cut another hole in you son's belt. The emergency room folks do not like re-attaching a finger.


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