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Thread: Christmas shopping for spouses

  1. #1
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Christmas shopping for spouses

    In my family Christmas gifts were always to be a surprise and you didn't just go tell someone exactly what you want and then expect to get exactly that. You might drop major hints and all that and then hope you got it, which was all good if you did. My wife is not a surprise person. She likes things planned in advance and doesn't care for being surprised or for surprising people.

    Every year it's the same way. She is asking me what I want for Christmas and expecting to get a specific answer so she can just go out and get exactly that, absolutely no surprise, unless I ask for something that fails the practical test. I'm always dropping all kinds of hints, some of them blatantly obvious, and hoping she will pick up on them. I think she gets the hints, but she is the essence of practicality and will always get me the thing that I "need" the most. That usually translates into a new pair of shoes so an older pair that are really comfortable can be pitched because they're no longer presentable. Then she will point out things in a catalog that she likes, usually clothing items of a very practical nature, and it will go beyond a strong hint. I usually end up getting her a gift card for whatever store is carrying that item. That way she can go and pick out something she likes.

    So here's what will happen this year, but first I must backtrack. Back in late 2001, right after we got married, she talked me into switching to an electric razor. "You spend so much money on those blades. Why not just buy something once and not have to buy new blades all the time?" So I got what was in the budget at the time, a fairly inexpensive Braun. It works fine, but I used to shave in the shower all the time and I can't with this one because it can only be used dry. So now this is the fifth Christmas since we've been married and each year I spend from October-December pointing out all of those nice wet/dry electrics that you can use in the shower. If we're in a store I will point it out when we walk by that section and say something like, "Look at that, you can use it in the shower. I miss shaving in the shower." She will say something like "Hmm, that's nice." If she has the ads from the Sunday paper, I will find one in there and point it out. The other day I even found one on the internet and left the browser window up on the computer so she would see it when she got on the computer. I have been as abvious as my upbringing will allow me to be, since we never just came out and said, "Get me this." But I looked in the closet and my brown shoes are starting to wear a bit. They're comfortable as heck right now, but they're showing signs of wear. Soon they will be relegated to "you can only wear these around the house" status. What can I expect under the tree this year? A brand new pair of brown leather shoes. What will she get from me? A gift card to whatever clothing store has something she likes. If I get her the item, she won't trust me that I got the best deal and she will probably take it back and swap it for something else anyway. Christmas is so predictable, which is so different for a guy who grew up with surprise being the order of the day. Maybe this year she will surprise me and do something unpredictable, or buy something somewhat less than practical. Maybe the Reds will win the pennant too. One can always dream.

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  3. #2
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    You want unpredictable? Give her a gift card to Sharper Image and let her buy you the shaver you want at the after-Christmas sale.

    Oh, and this stuff will keep your worn-in and comfortable shoes looking great forever.
    Makes all the routine posts.

  4. #3
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsland
    Oh, and this stuff will keep your worn-in and comfortable shoes looking great forever.
    Now that could do the trick. Get the shoes looking really nice and there will have to be a different option.

  5. #4
    Mon chou Choo vaticanplum's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    I totally understand the nostalgiac and kind of moving attitudes toward gift-giving expressed in this post, but dude, buy yourself a razor.
    There is no such thing as a pitching prospect.

  6. #5
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Quote Originally Posted by vaticanplum
    I totally understand the nostalgiac and kind of moving attitudes toward gift-giving expressed in this post, but dude, buy yourself a razor.
    It's all about avoiding that "you spent all that money on something you already have" argument. I'm not very confrontational.

    With that said, I had already concluded that if it's not there this year I'm just going to buy the darn thing anyway. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

  7. #6
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Break the old one

    Problem solved.

    Go Gators!

  8. #7
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Quote Originally Posted by KronoRed
    Break the old one

    Problem solved.

    I like the way you think.

  9. #8
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Try shaving in the shower with the old one. When your wife discovers you half-conscious and twitching on the floor, explain that you got nostalgic for shaving in the shower and though you'd see if your old razor would do the trick.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  10. #9
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    It's obvious you're being far to subtle in your hinting. Perhaps a billboard?

    Or you could put a mousetrap in her purse with the ad attached.

    "Disappear" for a few days and then send a ransom note with cutout letters glued to it that demands a wet/dry razor for your "return."

    Claim to have electrocuted yourself shaving in the shower. Grow out your beard and insist you're never shaving with that "death machine" again.

    Send yourself an e-mail from sexylady@yahoo.com that empathizes with your plight and promises to "give you the razor you deserve after we run away together."

    And so forth.
    Makes all the routine posts.

  11. #10
    Mon chou Choo vaticanplum's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Quote Originally Posted by OldRightHander
    It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
    Ahahaha.

    I am never getting married. But I'm going to adopt this as a rule for living anyway.
    There is no such thing as a pitching prospect.

  12. #11
    I hate the Cubs LoganBuck's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Just drop the thing on the sink in the backroom and suddenly you need a new one. Stand on the toilet to get more acceleration from gravity.
    The Sox traded Bullfrog the only player they've got for Shottenhoffen. Four-eyes Shottenhoffen a utility infielder. They've got a whole team of utility infielders.

  13. #12
    Oy Vey! Red in Chicago's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    isn't shaving in the shower kind of a waste of water, versus doing it in the sink? kind of like people who brush their teeth, with the water running...just sayin'

  14. #13
    Member SandyD's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Send an e-mail to a friend about how you really want a new electric razor you can use in the shower. Ask for advice on brand/etc. Have your friend reply with the model you want. Have him even include a note ... "maybe your wife will get you one for Christmas."

    Leave the e-mail you received open on your computer. For good measure, print it out and leave it on the desk along with a printout from a site that sells that model. You could even "doodle" a wrapped gift on the page for good measure if you want.

    Edit: make sure your friend copies your message with he sends it.

  15. #14
    Waiting for a tour/album KittyDuran's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    Quote Originally Posted by SandyD
    Send an e-mail to a friend about how you really want a new electric razor you can use in the shower. Ask for advice on brand/etc. Have your friend reply with the model you want. Have him even include a note ... "maybe your wife will get you one for Christmas."

    Leave the e-mail you received open on your computer. For good measure, print it out and leave it on the desk along with a printout from a site that sells that model. You could even "doodle" a wrapped gift on the page for good measure if you want.

    Edit: make sure your friend copies your message with he sends it.
    Or just print out this thread...
    2014 Reds record when I'm attending: 20-16
    2014 Dragons record when I'm attending: 2-1
    "We want to be the band to dance to when the bomb drops." - Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran

  16. #15
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Christmas shopping for spouses

    An electric shower razor? Why didn't I think of that? That's a great gift for the spouse.

    My wife is a real prude (or should I say Scrooge) when it comes to getting her gifts...Bah Humbug! She hates getting candy and flowers (thinks it's a waste of time and money).

    She's practical, but too pratical to the point it takes all the fun out of gift giving.

    She went out the other day and bought a breadmaker. I told her that if I knew that I'd have gotten her one for Christmas. Her response?... "Why? I saw the one I wanted, it was on sale, so I bought it. You would have went overboard and bought me one that not only made bread, but also had a combination knife/garden tool sharpener, ice maker, and trash compactor."

    I put a new set of tires on her car tonight. That she liked! That's practical to her.

    I did go out though and buy her some of those cotton nightshirts she likes to sleep in and lounge around the house, a new manicure set, and a thermal throw for the couch. Why can't woman ever be warm enough? Even in the middle of July?

    I also got her a new hair dryer. The one she has I know is about 15 years old. The On/Off switch doesn't work. She just plugs it into the wall to turn it on, and unplugs it to turn it off. No problem.

    I bought her one that is 2500 watts, 3000 rpm, and 5 speeds. It also can be used as an automotive engine timing light. Now that is practical!

    But I write the kid's names on the tags. I'm not taking any of the heat.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations


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