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Thread: DanO's Day at the Office

  1. #16
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    6:15:30 AM

    DanO receives phone call from pending boss wanting him to know that he doesn't appreciate his sense of humor. Something to do with an e-Holidays Card with the message "Lettuce Head into the New Year with a new outlook"

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    Can't win with 'em

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  3. #17
    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    6:19:30 AM Dan takes a moment to reflect on his days at Ohio University when he had a radio show aptly titled, "The Many Moods of Pat Boone" after returning from his thoughts he decides to call and see how Mike Lansing is doing.

  4. #18
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    6:25 AM

    Mike Lansing's wife answers the home phone and reminds DanO that he is in clear violation of the EPO that was taken out as protection by the Lansing family after "the cabin incident" last summer.
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  5. #19
    Harry Chiti Fan registerthis's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    DanO returns briefly to his Pat Boone thoughts, and decides that he didn't much care for Boone's "Metal Mood" at all.

    We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

  6. #20
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    6:30 AM DanO pulls out two binders--lunch menus and 40 man roster.

    Puts back lunch menu binder, too many choices, decides he just will not eat rather than possibly choose the wrong restaurant.

    Opens 40 man roster binder, pencils in Rich "the Presence" Aurilia on depth chart at second, short and third base, hoping to get to Sharpie in his name in Cincinnati Reds red by Sunday, but he will not rush Rich and Barry on this decision, knowing that there are many factors to consider in such a momentous decision, some of which are more likely to come to pass than others, others with a lower probability of occurring, but nonetheless, he understands the nature of grueling decisions like this better than anybody. Also, DanO ignores belly growl figuring that the noise and pain of hunger will fix itself.
    Can't win with 'em

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  7. #21
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    Quote Originally Posted by traderumor
    6:30 AM Also, DanO ignores belly growl figuring that the noise and pain of hunger will fix itself.
    6:35am

    To help solve this problem, he stands pat and eats a granola bar he found in his desk. It is one that he brought with him from Texas a while ago, that he bought himself, instead of a great Twix bar. The date is questionable, but figures it is a professionally made product. He feels the granola bar was probably unhappy with his role in DanO's diet, but he quickly forgets about all of that.

    A crumb falls on to his binder, in a panic, he searches for Kullman not knowing what to do.

  8. #22
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    6:45 AM

    DanO thinks, "My goodness, the day is just flying by. I've been so productive today that I didn't even realize that it was nearly 7 AM." He calls the ticket office for an update on Opening Day ticket sales, then angrily sends off an email to the department supervisor wanting to know why no one is in the ticket office when it says that you can purchase tickets 24/7 on the team's official website.
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  9. #23
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    8:15 AM

    DanO screams for Dean Taylor from the executive washroom stall. Apparently, the digestive process involving his recently acquired Granola bar begins to have a counter productive effect on DanO's system.

    DanO: "Oh, Dean...Thank heavens you were able to seek out my plaintiff cries for...."

    Dean: "Seek out? It sounded like a twelve year old girl caught her hair on fire in here. I was just coming in to see if I could help the little darling out by dousing the flames with this can of Diet Shasta from the break room."

    DanO: "Affirmative. Well, it's a quandry alright. Perhaps, it is a simple matter of a slight imbalance in my carefully prescribed "fiber ratio" (see: Exhibit A). On the other hand, maybe that Granola bar I acquired from John Schuerholz had some pre-existing quality control issues that were not fully known to me prior to consumption."

    Dean: "Whew--speaking of things on fire...I'm think I'm gonna go get a match."

    DanO: "I concur. However, while you go past my desk, I would ask that you please take the remaining portions of the subject Granola bar and see that they be forwarded to this address for further evaluation:

    Dr. James Andrews
    Birmingham, AL


    Run, Dean....run as though the wind was beneath..."

    Dean: "Please don't say 'wind' in here"
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  10. #24
    Member SteelSD's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    Because Blimpie left us with un-accounted for time...

    6:46 AM- Paints eyes on his eyelids.
    6:47-8:14 AM- Naps.

    8:30 AM

    Pulls Eric Milton contract out of file cabinet. Stares at it. Mutters "Bounceback...bounceback...bounceback..." over and over.
    "The problem with strikeouts isn't that they hurt your team, it's that they hurt your feelings..." --Rob Neyer

    "The single most important thing for a hitter is to get a good pitch to hit. A good hitter can hit a pitch that’s over the plate three times better than a great hitter with a ball in a tough spot.”
    --Ted Williams

  11. #25
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    8:31 AM

    DanO calls the Enquirer and asks for Tim Sullivan's desk, apparently wanting to repair the breach between the Cincinnati media and the GM's office. As a teaser, he tells the receptionist that he has some pictures involving a dog, two BenGals, and Nick Lachey in addition to some "inside the Front Office" type stuff.
    The receptionist gives him the prankster treatment, which involves sending the caller into an endless "press 1 for the Enquirer, press 2 for the Post" phone menu loop.
    Can't win with 'em

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  12. #26
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    Correction:

    Between 6:46-6:47, DanO's browser history shows the following link

    http://www.marysgraphics.com/picit/ana/blinks.html

    Always the innovator, that DanO
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  13. #27
    Vavasor TRF's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    8:43 AM

    DanO refers to binder appendix SEC for instructions on how to remove painted eyelids. Upon seeing section removed, Dan quickly phones John Allen for cost saving fake eye removal services.
    Suck it up cupcake.

  14. #28
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    8:45 AM

    Feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world, DanO hits speed dial button number 2, also known as "The Reds Phone" in Atlanta, Georgia. Getting a little nervous about his own prospect at 3b and with only two other possible backups (pending converting Aurilia from pencil to Sharpie), he hopes to talk to Schuerholz about Andy Marte. He's pretty sure he could get him for Harang and Lopez, but has his short list of prospects ready just in case that is not enough to even get an "I'm listening" from big John. He chuckles to himself as he thinks about how he got two pitchers for one pitcher last time they wheeled and dealed. He starts to feel a bit light-headed thinking back to his first time...
    Last edited by traderumor; 01-04-2006 at 04:47 PM.
    Can't win with 'em

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  15. #29
    Vavasor TRF's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    9:17 AM after a long soak in the whirlpool with both binder and Narron (which left Narron visibly shaken) DanO head back to his office with word that the Mets have signed Bret Boone. Now that's a DP combo he mutters to himself. "Aurilia to Boone to Womack. Those guys know how to win! I wonder if a straight Lopez for Boone swap is doable for the Mets or would we have to kick in some cash?"
    Suck it up cupcake.

  16. #30
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: DanO's Day at the Office

    9:18 AM Narron ponders the connection between a granola bar, screaming, and Dean Taylor after the whirlpool no longer bubbled when DanO left the tub
    Can't win with 'em

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