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Thread: The Reds Report

  1. #1
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    The Reds Report

    The Reds Report
    By Redsland, for Redsland

    Freel Arrested
    Concerned second baseman was only trying to keep police from arresting his friend, Tony Womack.
    Outrage over drunken, expletive-laden, post-bachelor party, twilight arrest outside sushi pool hall voiced by David Wells, who thought it was the next night.
    Fan favorite becoming popular with judges, probation officers.
    After night in jail, IF/OF now also a C.

    Player moves
    Rich Aurilia re-signed to play with club; Edwin Encarnacion resigned to play for affiliates.
    Rob Stratton returns with Achilles tendon healed, Achilles heel intact.

    Browning, Seaver, May to Reds Hall
    Browning’s two career starts for KC make him leading candidate for their Hall in ’07.
    “Mr. Perfect” expected to watch induction from outfield bleachers.
    Famously traded Lee May’s induction paves the way for Reggie Sanders, Tom Lawless, Kurt Stillwell.

    Reds Notes
    20,000 breakaway stadium seats being replaced after league nixes planned episode of “Punk’d.”
    Griffey wins Lombardi Award, Harang wins Vander Meer Award, Casey wins Bichette Award, Wilson wins Harnisch Award, Freel wins Neagle Award, Aurilia wins Guillen Award, Encarnacion wins Encarnacion Award.
    Adam Dunn to avoid O’Brien’s calls at Cory Lidle’s poker tourney again this year.

    New Owners Weighing In
    Castellini has “passion to win” Narron gushes as future boss looks on.
    Ownership committee ironically unlikely to be impressed by closer-by-committee, second-base-by-committee.
    Castellini’s son gets front office job after grueling search between him and a couple of minorities.

    -------------

    News Item: Cincy Woman Found Dead in Front of TV
    Corners say woman died August 29, 2003

    Police will not confirm that TV was tuned to Fox Sports Net, but will confirm deceased was “on the smiling side of 60.”

    Fact: That night the Reds entered play in last place, having just been swept by the Brewers in a four game series for the first time ever. Link

    Fact: Also on that night, John Bale earned his only win of the year, Danny Graves made his first relief appearance after a season of failed starts, and Ryan Freel robbed Jim Edmonds. Link

    Folks, if that’s not a cautionary tale for Reds fans with weak hearts, I don’t know what is.

    Makes all the routine posts.

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  3. #2
    Member LawFive's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsland
    The Reds Report
    By Redsland, for Redsland

    Freel Arrested
    After night in jail, IF/OF now also a C.


    Oh my.
    The seven most magic words in all the land...
    "If, in the opinion of the referee,..."

  4. #3
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  5. #4
    Ripsnort wheels's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Okay....

    I just got the Catcher joke.

    Har.
    "We know we're better than this, but we can't prove it." - Tony Gwynn

  6. #5
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Good stuff
    Go Gators!


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