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Thread: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

  1. #16
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    Hello Neuman.
    Get your nunchucks and the keys to your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun

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  3. #17
    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    "He took it out."
    "Well...maybe it needed to breath."

    "It's a game of world domination, being played by two men who can't even control their own lives."

    (Jerry, talking to a telephone salesman)"Hey, listen, I'm really busy right now, so how about if you give me your home phone number, and I can call you. Oh. You don't like to be bothered at home? Well, now you know how I feel." (hangs up the phone).

    "Oh, I see...just because I'm the dumb doorman, I MUST be reading the sports page."

    "They're real...and they're fabulous."

    "...Mulva?"

    "We were just told you were making out while seeing Schindler's List."
    "...Newman!"

    "Well, I'm out."
    "Already?"

  4. #18
    Member 919191's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    I drive them to lesbianism, and he brings 'em back!" George referring to Kramer.
    I've been to dinner at Jimmy Buffet's house, and I've eaten it at a homeless shelter. And there's great joy and harrowing terror to be found in both places.
    -Todd Snider

  5. #19
    Bunn-O-matic max venable's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    Wood is good, Jerry. --Kramer

  6. #20
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    I had to plunk him - Kramer about pitching at the Yankees fantasy camp

    You wouldn't eat brocoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce -Jerry to Newman.

    Vile weed - Newman as he spit out the brocoli.

  7. #21
    Designated Threadkiller LincolnparkRed's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    If you look annoyed all the time, people think you're busy" - George Costanza
    It makes the workday more bearable.
    Climbing down from the bridge, but keeping the torch lit until Dusty's fate is settled

  8. #22
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    These pretzels are making me thirsty.
    Get your nunchucks and the keys to your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun

  9. #23
    Bunn-O-matic max venable's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    Quote Originally Posted by pedro
    These pretzels are making me thirsty.
    Yes! This one makes my list, too!

  10. #24
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollcat
    I had to plunk him - Kramer about pitching at the Yankees fantasy camp

    You wouldn't eat brocoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce -Jerry to Newman.

    Vile weed - Newman as he spit out the brocoli.
    I still laugh uncontrollably watching his reaction as he spits that out!

    If relationship George walks through that door, he will kill independent George Jerry! A George divided cannot stand!
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  11. #25
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    Quote Originally Posted by GAC
    I still laugh uncontrollably watching his reaction as he spits that out!

    If relationship George walks through that door, he will kill independent George Jerry! A George divided cannot stand!


    Yeah, the inside of the plate belongs to Kramer...

    "Hey! I thought you weren't coming back 'til Monday!?"
    "Well, the camp ended a few days early."
    "Why?"
    "Well, there was an incident."
    "What happened?"
    "I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth."
    "What!?"
    "Yeah, I punched him and they took him to the hospital and then they cancelled the rest of the week."
    "You punched *who* in the mouth?"
    "Mickey Mantle."
    "What happened?"
    "Well, you know, we were playin' a game and I was pitching and I was really throwin' some smoke. And uh, Joe Pepitone, he was up and man, that guy... he was crowding the plate!"
    "Wow... Joe Pepitone!"
    "Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate! So I throw one inside, a little chin music... put him right on his pants, because I got to intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well, the next pitch, he's right back in the same place! So.... I had to plunk him."
    "You plunked him?"
    "Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound, next thing both benches are cleared, a brouhaha breaks out between the guys in camp and the old Yankee players, and as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off one of my teammates, somebody pulls me from behind and I turned around and I *popped* him! I look down and, whoa man! It's Mickey! I punched his lights out! Then Hank Bauer's screaming 'Mickey! Mickey! What have you have done with Mickey?! You killed Mickey!'"
    "So what did you do?"
    "I got the hell outta there!"
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  12. #26
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    Quote Originally Posted by RFS62
    Yeah, the inside of the plate belongs to Kramer...

    "Hey! I thought you weren't coming back 'til Monday!?"
    "Well, the camp ended a few days early."
    "Why?"
    "Well, there was an incident."
    "What happened?"
    "I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth."
    "What!?"
    "Yeah, I punched him and they took him to the hospital and then they cancelled the rest of the week."
    "You punched *who* in the mouth?"
    "Mickey Mantle."
    "What happened?"
    "Well, you know, we were playin' a game and I was pitching and I was really throwin' some smoke. And uh, Joe Pepitone, he was up and man, that guy... he was crowding the plate!"
    "Wow... Joe Pepitone!"
    "Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate! So I throw one inside, a little chin music... put him right on his pants, because I got to intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well, the next pitch, he's right back in the same place! So.... I had to plunk him."
    "You plunked him?"
    "Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound, next thing both benches are cleared, a brouhaha breaks out between the guys in camp and the old Yankee players, and as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off one of my teammates, somebody pulls me from behind and I turned around and I *popped* him! I look down and, whoa man! It's Mickey! I punched his lights out! Then Hank Bauer's screaming 'Mickey! Mickey! What have you have done with Mickey?! You killed Mickey!'"
    "So what did you do?"
    "I got the hell outta there!"

    That is a classic! The other is with Keith Hernandez and the spit/Kennedy assasination analogy.... "That was one magic loogey!"

    Also...

    "No Pick! No Pick!"

    "If we pick, do we not bleed?!"

    George: Was there any nostril penetration?
    Jerry: Well, maybe - incidental. But she was in no position to tell.
    George: I don't understand what the big deal is anyway. You don't think Moses, after wandering in the desert with all that sand and dry heat for 40 years wasn't, you know, tempted to clean house?

    And thanks for turning me on to "Curb Your Enthusiam". That guy was the brains behind Seinfeld for sure.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  13. #27
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    "Although one wonders if 'War and Peace' would has been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under it's original name 'War---What Is It Good For.'"

    "At that moment, I was a marine biologist"

    "Your face is my case."

    "They're real and they're spectacular."
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  14. #28
    Making sense of it all Matt700wlw's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    George is at a party, eating potato chips and dip. He double dips....

    Guy: "You double dipped a chip!"

    George: "Double dipped....what are you talking about?"

    Guy: "You dipped your chip, you took a bite....and you dipped again..."

    George: "so.."

    Guy: "That's like putting your whole mouth in the dip!! Next time just take one dip and end it!!!!"

  15. #29
    Making sense of it all Matt700wlw's Avatar
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    "It's not you, it's me."

  16. #30
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    Re: Gimme your all-time favorite Seinfeld lines:

    I am going to see Dr. Van Nostrom, noted dermatologist, about the mole in my back.

    The episode where George tried to airbrush himself out of the photo with his new boss.

    The episode where Jerry is grilled by Newman at the post office, as if he was an FBI agent, for messing with a stereo.

    The episode where George pretends he is disabled...in order to get his own bathroom at work.

    "It's a bunker mentality here Jerry."


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