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Thread: The Reds Report

  1. #1
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    The Reds Report

    The Reds Report
    By Redsland, for Redsland

    Castellini, Ungagged
    Promises fans “passion,” proves it with sensuous open-mouth kiss to Hal McCoy.
    “Impatient” owner waited three months, got unanimous approval after owners’ luncheon by holding aloft “the antidote.”
    XU trustee returns for Shootout, heralds new beginning for Reds, beginning of end for Bearcats.
    Hometown ownership “critical” as Hyde Park resident wrests control from Indian Hill outlander.
    At GAB, hands-on owner won’t stop touching thermostat.
    Mrs. Castellini’s embroidered pillow a plush cry for help?

    O’Brien Fired
    Produce king cans GM.
    Weak link who spent a year “getting to know everyone” spotted on boss’s second day.
    Machado boat purchase put on hold.
    Told to clean out his desk, former GM estimates task could take “several years.”
    Former GM to interview with Texas Roadhouse.

    Front Office News
    Kullman calls all 29 GMs, asks if their refrigerators are running.
    Prospective minority partner a minority with a group of minority owners, a majority of whom are also minorities.
    Beattie, hired to assess pitching “soup to nuts,” finishes before soup arrives.
    GM candidate Antonetti waives self.

    Reds Notes
    Dunn broke hand twice last year, agent says he “can’t grip a pen.”
    Former Reds to inspire team at spring training include Soto, Browning, Aurilia, Hammond.
    Nuxhall back to booth; Stewart “won’t have a full-time job handed to him.”
    Freel charges dropped when witnesses couldn’t remember anything the next day.
    Paul Wilson throwing without pain, velocity, movement.

    World Baseball Classic
    WBC denies 10-run mercy rule designed specifically for Vietnam’s Danny Graves.
    A-Rod agrees to play for U.S. team with Jeter, asked to switch nationalities.
    Brand extension to result in confusing New World Baseball, Diet World Baseball, and World Baseball Zero.

    Around the League
    Ishii to Japan.
    “Reformed” Denny Neagle fined for solicitation, slides one dollar at a time under Clerk of Courts window while humming “The Thong Song.”
    Danny Graves offends Vietnamese hosts with scandalous thumbs-up gesture.

    Makes all the routine posts.

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  3. #2
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Nice work
    Go Gators!

  4. #3
    Waiting for a tour/album KittyDuran's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Castellini, Ungagged
    Promises fans “passion,” proves it with sensuous open-mouth kiss to Hal McCoy.
    HEY! I'm eating lunch ya know...:
    2014 Reds record when I'm attending: 3-4
    2014 Dragons record when I'm attending: 1-0
    "We want to be the band to dance to when the bomb drops." - Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran

  5. #4
    Waiting for a tour/album KittyDuran's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Reds Notes
    Dunn broke hand twice last year, agent says he “can’t grip a pen.”
    Former Reds to inspire team at spring training include Soto, Browning, Aurilia, Hammond.
    Nuxhall back to booth; Stewart “won’t have a full-time job handed to him.”
    Freel charges dropped when witnesses couldn’t remember anything the next day.
    Paul Wilson throwing without pain, velocity, movement.
    And I just LOST my lunch!
    2014 Reds record when I'm attending: 3-4
    2014 Dragons record when I'm attending: 1-0
    "We want to be the band to dance to when the bomb drops." - Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran

  6. #5
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsland
    Produce king cans GM.
    Now that's NY Post worthy!
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  7. #6
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  8. #7
    Big Red Machine RedsBaron's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Loved it! I can believe that it would take DanO several years to clean out his desk.
    "Hey...Dad. Wanna Have A Catch?" Kevin Costner in "Field Of Dreams."

  9. #8
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by RedsBaron
    Loved it! I can believe that it would take DanO several years to clean out his desk.


    Yeah, there's no way he'd just dump everything in a box. He'd have to organize it first. Sort by catagory and stuff.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  10. #9
    Haunted by walks
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    Re: The Reds Report

    It's this kind of material that will have the Reds execs hanging out here all the time...

  11. #10
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by BCubb2003
    It's this kind of material that will have the Reds execs hanging out here all the time...

    Yep, and as much as I'd like to have them here, I'd prefer reading The Reds Report if I have to make a choice.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  12. #11
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by RFS62
    Yep, and as much as I'd like to have them here, I'd prefer reading The Reds Report if I have to make a choice.
    Word.
    Go Gators!

  13. #12
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by BCubb2003
    It's this kind of material that will have the Reds execs hanging out here all the time...
    I'm not sure what would be personally objectionable or offensive. If they cannot laugh at themselves...
    Can't win with 'em

    Can't win without 'em

  14. #13
    Haunted by walks
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    Re: The Reds Report

    I have a feeling they'd think it's a hoot, and they'd realize that they're dealing with some sharp and entertaining baseball minds, not the online adolescent version of the Banana Phone.

  15. #14
    Unsolicited Opinions traderumor's Avatar
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Quote Originally Posted by BCubb2003
    I have a feeling they'd think it's a hoot, and they'd realize that they're dealing with some sharp and entertaining baseball minds, not the online adolescent version of the Banana Phone.
    Assuming you are being sarcastic, but isn't this the same kind of stuff you write? My apologies in advance if I'm reading it wrong.
    Can't win with 'em

    Can't win without 'em

  16. #15
    Haunted by walks
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    Re: The Reds Report

    Sorry... actually, I'm not being sarcastic at all. I love what Redsland does and I think any baseball exec worth talking to would enjoy it too. It's a good test, in fact, of an exec's openness to sharp and savvy baseball talk. It's mlb.com forums and the old cincinnati.com days that turn them off to opening up online. We have our moments of contentiousness, too, but rarely, and I'm optimistic the Reds execs will see RedsZone as exactly the place they ought to be talking baseball in.


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