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Thread: The Reds Report

  1. #1
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Norfolk, VA

    The Reds Report

    The Reds Report
    By Redsland, for Redsland

    GM Search Concluding
    “At least nine” interviewees face Castellini and advisors Gene Bennett, Larry Barton Jr., Nancy Zimpher.
    After reviewing list of qualified candidates, minority partner Carl Lindner pulling for Cam Bonifay.
    Told he was a candidate for promotion, Leland Maddox refuses to interview, is pressured to agree, then postpones by “catching flu”; obvious next moves include mid-interview “got your nose” trick and “Have any naked pictures of your wife?” query.

    Latest Signings
    Felipe Lopez inks $2.7 million deal, other side of neck.
    Veteran Rick White joins Hammond, Weathers, Aurilia, Mercker, Womack in discussions about clubhouse temperature, music volume, excessive dugout stairs.
    Kullman continues Dunn negotiations; delegates arbitration presentation against 6’6” Texan to staffers Beattie, Maddox, Almaraz.

    Reds Notes
    Bubba Nelson proves passing through waivers easier than passing field sobriety test.
    Milton, Claussen, Freel, Weathers report early; using ghost runners, pitcher’s poison until five more show up.
    Paul Wilson: I should have admitted sooner how badly I was hurt last year by cancellation of “Joan of Arcadia.”
    Reds riot, Midwest violence escalates in wake of “insensitive” Borgman caricatures.

    World Baseball Classic
    ESPN announces plans to broadcast international competition; Berman nickname writers rush to bunker, go to DEFCON 5.
    Bojorquez, Chiaravalloti expected to present greater challenge than Bermudez, Fukuura.
    Nomar Garciaparra bails, cites desire to concentrate on learning new L.A. position, lifeguard.

    Around the League
    SBC Park, nee Pac Bell Park, to be renamed AT&T Park; McCovey Cove briefly becomes Willie Montanez Cove, then Will Clark Cove.
    As rumors swirl, Mike Piazza calls press conference to confirm he’s a Padre, heterosexual.
    Hall of Fame to honor Latinos with traveling exhibit it will smuggle across border, rename, fill with older-than-expected artifacts.

    Makes all the routine posts.

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  3. #2
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    West N. Carolina

    Re: The Reds Report

    Go Gators!

  4. #3
    Make America Stupid Again RFS62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    New York

    Re: The Reds Report

    Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

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