Cliches That Don't Make Sense

[max venable]

The saying should be "dead as a doornail". These sayings morph over the course of time, mostly because the original meaning is lost on the next generation(s). We have doorknobs, but nobody knows what a door-nail is. That is why you get knuckleheads saying "a tough road to hoe". Who the heck would hoe a road? I guess that would be tough! Its a row. You hoe a row, as in a row of corn or whatever.

In the good old days they would tear buildings down and re-use whatever nails they could. In those days when they would hang a door they would bend the end of the nails on the other side so they wouldn't pull out. Hence, "doornails" were not able to be re-used. Dead as a door-nail.

My grandpa lived into his 90's and I'd ask him about this stuff all the time. He was more than happy to tell me what they all meant and I was more than happy to listen. I know a bit about the meanings of those old sayings, or at least what my Grandpa's interpretation of them was.

I have considered changing my user name to "Good Eats" or "Prit'near" more than once, as a memorial to good old Grandpa.

GL

great explanation gl. Thanks for that.

[Hollcat]

What about being "head over heels" Isn't that the normal position. I'm sure there's some sort of explanation but it just never made sense to me.

[Gainesville Red]

I've been hit pretty hard before, but never hard enough to "knock my socks off."

[Dom Heffner]

What about being "head over heels" Isn't that the normal position. I'm sure there's some sort of explanation but it just never made sense to me.

I think it is saying that you are so happy that you've flipped head over heels. I never thought about it, though, so I could be wrong.

[max venable]

Here are some more...feel free, gang, to explain

He's on a roll.

In the nick of time.

I'm willing to let it slide.

Can't see the forest for the trees. (I've always struggled with that one in particular. Somebody please help)

Stop on a dime. What's that supposed to mean?

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

[gm]

I was given a paperback book similar to this, it makes for interesting reading

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/155...Fencoding=UTF8

After hearing "It has a mind of it's own" being used to describe inanimate objects, I revised it to "It has no mind of it's own" Feel free to use it

[gonelong]

Here are some more...feel free, gang, to explain

Can't see the forest for the trees. (I've always struggled with that one in particular. Somebody please help)

This is someone who gets so bogged down in the details that he forgets about the big picture.

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

A guaranteed one is better than a possible two.

If you are a hungry fella, its good to have a bird in hand, it means your going to eat. Two in the bush might be great, but there is no guarantee you will get both of them, or either of them for that matter.



GL

[SteelSD]

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys."

Ok. Maybe this is just my take, but I don't think a barrel of monkeys would be all that fun. Poo throwing x 10 is NOT my idea of a good time. Might even be more than 10 'cause I don't know how many monkeys fit in a barrel. Could be more if they're little monkeys. But not those red-butt monkeys. They're sort of big. Well, for monkeys that is. Maybe you could keep the lid on to not let the monkeys out but if you forget to drill air holes in the barrel, then all you end up having is a large container full of dead monkeys. I don't see how a bunch of dead monkeys is all that fun. Maybe if you're a taxidermist, but I'd think that a whole barrel of dead monkeys would just be dead monkey overload. Sigh...

"Speed never slumps."

When a cliche' can be countered by Tony Womack it is, by definition, teh suck.

"Easy as pie."

Pie is hard. It just is. I don't get pie. It might seem easy, but definitely not those lattice-crusted pies. Those even look hard. Of course pie is easier than it used to be with all the premade dough and pre-packaged gooped-up filling, but it's still hard. Not as hard as it used to be, but the next time I walk into the kitchen and hear my wife offer to whip me up a quick pie will be the first.

"He swept her off her feet."

In most civilized countries, this will result in a kidnapping charge. At minimum, it's a phrase likely to be used in a doctor's notes describing the cause of a hernia.


"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

A complete load of crap. What if the horse's teeth are so bad that it's going to need a huge investment in dental work unless you plan to watch it gum its food? How about if it's got serious incurable palate infections that cause so much pain that you'd have to put him down? Well, then all you're getting as a gift is a dead horse. And that seems like even less fun than a barrel of dead monkeys.

[max venable]

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

A complete load of crap. What if the horse's teeth are so bad that it's going to need a huge investment in dental work unless you plan to watch it gum its food? How about if it's got serious incurable palate infections that cause so much pain that you'd have to put him down? Well, then all you're getting as a gift is a dead horse. And that seems like even less fun than a barrel of dead monkeys.

[max venable]

Was late for work. Had to make up an excuse for being late. Here's how my conversation with the boss went down:

Rolling into the office a full two hours late, I told my boss that my grandmother kicked the bucket and I had to attend her funeral. All in all, a plausible excuse -- were it not for the fact that I'd already used it three times this month.

"Now hold your horses right there," he said. And I could tell already that he had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this day.

Uh oh, I thought. Looks like the sh*t's about to hit the fan. (Pardon my French) Guess it's time to face the music.


"I've got an ax to grind with you. Your cock and bull stories may have worked with others, but they're sure as heck not going to work with me. Let's cut to the chase: If you slip up one more time, I'll have you working the graveyard shift(He was on a roll at this point). As far as I'm concerned, your name is mud, mister. Now, stop lollygagging and get back to work!"

So I decided that I had to bite the bullet. What could I do? I'd been caught red-handed.

I was about to offer a sarcastic comeback but I thought, now's not a good time. I oughta just put a sock in it. This son of a gun had me nailed to the wall ...for all intents and purposes.

After all, he was the big cheese.

So I decided not to beat around the bush. I mean, if I continued to be late and make up stories, it wouldn't be long before the fat lady started to sing on my career.

"So," I said to my boss, "Let's call a spade a spade. I was late. I'm sorry. It won't happen again sir."

He said, "Son, you can't just continue to fly by the seat of your pants around here. I know there's more than one way to skin a cat, but your approach to your job is not going to cut it." I need you to come to work on time, go balls to the wall, every day. Gung-ho with reckless abandon. Time is money, son. I hope you've seen the light.

"Sir," I said, "I'm sorry my performance hasn't been up to snuff. And my blantant disregard for company policy must seem like a slap in the face to you. I screwed up."

"Max," he said, "I just thought it was time to lay down the law. You're a smart kid. An intregal cog in our company and we're counting on you to help put this company over the top. Just food for thought, son. This company doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell if we don't have everyone on the team get in the game. You've got to keep your eye on the ball, Max."

"You're right, sir," I said. "The sky's the limit! And I am determined not to rest on my laurels.

He replied, "I'm proud as a peacock of you, son. You're a good egg.

"Sir?" I asked. "Could we just kinda sweep this whole thing under the rug? I'd hate for mom to find out that I've been slacking...Dad."

"Okay, son," he replied. I'll keep it under my hat.

Like father like son, he thought.

[LoganBuck]

My mom uses: "Better than sliced bread", I realize that I take the slice of Wonder for granted, but I would think a whole bunch of things were better than sliced bread.

I use "Can't see the forest for the trees." I understand it as someone who worries about minutae or auxillary matters, that don't address the problem.

One that my wife's Uncle seems to use alot: "That really blew her/his skirt up." I am assuming that showing ones naughty bits would be bad, but why is this used to describe something exciting or good? Perhaps I am being a bit naive.

[max venable]

Here's one I've never understood. My P.E. teacher in H.S. used to say it all the time.

Colder than a witch's t*t.

Any explanations?

[KronoRed]

That's one I don't think I want to know

[max venable]

How 'bout this one:

"Can't win for losin'."

That one never made sense to me. Can somebody shed some light?