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Thread: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

  1. #1
    Bunn-O-matic max venable's Avatar
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    Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    It's almost baseball season. Maybe this is a good time to revisit some of our favorite lines from one of our favorite baseball flicks: Major League.

    Post 'em here.

    Here are a few of mine:

    Heywood: How's your wife and my kids?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Jake: Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you've got the chance to be the hero on national television... if you don't blow it. Saw your wife last night. Great little dancer. That guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend, but tell me, what was he doing with her panties on his head?
    [batter pops the ball straight up]
    Jake: Uh-oh, Rexie, I don't think this one's got the distance.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Charlie Donovan: How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
    Lou Brown: Gee, I don't know...
    Charlie Donovan: What do you mean, you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues.
    Lou Brown: Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls.
    For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

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  3. #2
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Yo bartender! Jobu needs a refill!
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

  4. #3
    Puffy's Daddy Red Leader's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    This guy threw at his own son in a father son game.

    Harry Doyle: [before the playoff game] Monty, anything to add?
    Colorman: Ummm... no.
    Harry Doyle: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!
    'When I'm not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.'
    -Snoop on his retirement

    Your Mom is happy.

  5. #4
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Fan #1: Too high!
    Fan #2: "Too high"? What does that mean? "Too high"?
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  6. #5
    smells of rich mahogany deltachi8's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    This guy here is dead
    Nothing to see here. Please disperse.

  7. #6
    Member Coffeybro's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Lou Brown: Better teach this kid some control before he kills somebody.

    Lou Brown: Every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think we'd save everyone a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sports writers' time. So, I'd like to hang around and see if we can give 'em all a nice big sh**burger to eat.

    Pedro Cerrano: Hats for bats.
    There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.

    They wheeled a 3x4 steel safe into the clubhouse Sunday morning to store the players' valuables. It took four guys to lift it off a dolly and onto a table.

    Said pitcher Kent Mercker: "What's that, Junior Griffey's wallet?"

  8. #7
    Member RedsFan75's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Can't pass up....

    "Juuuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside"

    And from Major League II,

    Vaughn: Name a park that wouldn't have been out of.
    Girl: YellowStone.

  9. #8
    Score Early, Score Often gonelong's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Paraphasing:

    I didn't know Cleveland still had a team.

    Yep, we have uniforms and everything.

    I haven't seen the movie for awhile, but I always get a kick out of how many steals/Wins they need to get in the last 40 or so games to meet their goas/objective.

    GL

  10. #9
    WAGS
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.
    Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
    Jake Taylor: Harris.
    Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
    Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

    -----

    Pedro Cerrano: Hats for bats, keep bats warm.

  11. #10
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Lou Brown (after Roger Dorn misses a grounder): What's with this "Ole" s***?
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

  12. #11
    This one's for you Edd Heath's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Taylor - Is that you Tolbert?
    Donovan - Wha?
    Taylor - This isn't really funny you know. I'm hungover and my knees hurt. If you are going to pull this crap, at least you could say you were from the Yankees.

    (edited for children & krono )
    Some people play baseball. Baseball plays Jay Bruce.

  13. #12
    This one's for you Edd Heath's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Dorn's wife - Hello
    Vaughn - Hello. I'm afraid I'm not much company tonight. Job Troubles. I'm a ballplayer.
    Dorn's wife - I know who you are. And I don't chase ball players.
    Vaughn - Then why DID you come over here?
    Dorn's wife - because you are the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on and you look like you could use a friend.
    (Vaughn thinks - nods - points)
    Vaughn - Check, please.

    The line isn't all that funny - but the facial expression on Vaughn was classic.
    Some people play baseball. Baseball plays Jay Bruce.

  14. #13
    got alil captain in u?
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    Lou Brown:Give um the heater ricky!!!!!

  15. #14
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    "You may run like Hayes, but you hit like <crap>..."

    "The Indians score no runs on....lets see...1 hit. That's all we got? 1 <gosh darn> hit?!"
    "You can't say <gosh darn> on the air!"
    "Relax, nobody's listening anyway."

    "The Duke leads the league in strike outs, ERA, and hit batsmen. This guy threw at his own kid in a father-son game!"
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  16. #15
    WAGS
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    Re: Your favorite lines from MAJOR LEAGUE

    i really think

    Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

    is the best line of the movie lol


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