ALIENS USING E-MAIL TO SEDUCE EARTH WOMEN
Aliens have tapped into our Internet connections
The porn that's clogging your e-mail inbox isn't always sent by some lonely pervert getting his kicks in a shabby apartment, or by marketing companies trying to make a buck on X-rated merchandise. A top researcher says you could also be getting spammed by aliens on a distant planet!
Astrophysicist Dr. Paul Winterhoof says aliens have "hijacked" the satellite transmissions that connect computers on the Internet, and are using them to contact Earth women with lurid claims about their sexual prowess -- or to entice Earth men with offers of miraculous performance-enhancing drugs and gadgets.
The purpose, Dr. Winterhoof says, is to more efficiently initiate sexual contact for a planned breeding program that will mate humans and extraterrestrials.
"It's well known that aliens have been mating with humans for generations," he says. "But now they are using the Internet to make first contact. Just as the Internet has changed the way humans socialize and do business, so has it altered the way in which aliens seek to infiltrate our society.
"It's a sinister new development, although it does have its benefits," he says. Rather than forcibly kidnapping Earth men and women and subjecting them to terrifying and often-painful breeding experiments, Dr. Winterhoof says, the aliens are now attempting to focus only on willing partners. "Either they are gentler and more considerate than we have given them credit for," he says, "or they simply realize that they'll attract less attention.
"After all, how many women would be willing to risk the ostracism that would result from telling the world she let an alien tie her up and engage in kinky sex games? And what man would admit publicly that his newest relationship began because he was trying to get Viagra at a deep discount?"
Dr. Winterhoof says he began to investigate the alienporn connection after receiving numerous racy emails filled with gibberish. "The message body, and sometimes even the subject line, contained hundreds of naughty words that had simply been strung together in ways that made no sense at all," he explains.
When he attempted to trace the source of the e-mails, he says, his search led to a server connected to a U.S. Air Force satellite launched in 1999.
The scientist advises anyone receiving the dirty messages to immediately delete them. "As their incomprehensible messages attest, these aliens can't read or write English well -- even if you send them a blistering sermon about sinful thoughts, they're going to assume you're interested.
"Unless you want a three-headed alien at your door with some high-tech sex toy, your best bet is to simply ignore these perverts."