By Sean Duncan,
Monday, April 17, 2006 11:59 AM CDT

It never ceases to amaze me how people with absolutely no interest in the game of baseball end up with some of the best seats in the park.

In the past, like many of you, I have voiced my displeasure of watching a game on television and being annoyed when I see the inevitable fan talking on their cell phone and waving to a camera.

They are completely oblivious to the action on the field, they just have to be seen in their high-priced seats wearing a team hat they more than likely purchased moments earlier and won't be able to find two weeks later.

It is safe to say the majority of these misfits are not only not fans of the teams they are watching, but of the game of baseball itself. It's just the “cool” thing to do.

These premium seats have not been held by true fans for many years, like most things in this country they have been consumed by corporate America as entertainment tools.

The avid follower of the game looks down on these inappreciative fortunate few and last week in Chicago, at historic Wrigley Field, my wife, Laura, the arch enemy of baseball, was right in the thick of it.

My wife's job as music director at WTTS takes her to the Windy City quite often for concerts. On this occasion she was in town to catch David Gilmour (Pink Floyd) and before the show was invited to a Cubs-Cincinnati Reds game.

Her seat? The 13th row right behind home plate.

One of baseball's biggest non-fans walked into arguably the greatest park in the country and sat down - completely uninterested in the action on the field before, during or after the game - in the 13th row behind home plate.

Green with envy, I asked my lovely better half a few questions about her experience, or lack thereof, at Wrigley:

Q: Do you know the Cubs' record?

A: No. Why would I know the Cubs record?

Right now you can see where this is going.

Q: On the way in did you buy a program?

A: No. Why would I buy a program?

Because without a program, especially for you honey, they're just a bunch of guys running around in shirts with numbers on their backs.

Q: During the game, did you keep track of the score?

A: No. I couldn't see the old scoreboard in centerfield and the new ones on the sides were too sideways to read.


Q: Were there any home runs hit in the game by either team?

A: I don't know. I know the Cubs tried to get a home run a couple of times, but it went across the white line.

Way to go, baby.

Q: Did you see Derrek Lee?

A: Who is Derrek Lee?

Oh, boy.

Q: Did you know what the final score was?

A: I knew what the final score was, I didn't know who was winning.

Thanks for driving my point home.

Q: What was your most memorable moment?

A: The unique way a vendor yelled, "Hotdog!" You could even hear him when he was out in the bleacher seats.

Ah, the bleacher seats. That's where the true Chicago fans are.

She did score a few points on other questions.

Q: Did you get a Chicago Dog?

A: Yes.

Great job, darling. Two points.

Q: How about an Old Style?

A: Yes.

Roll, baby, roll. Two more points.

Q: Did you stand to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh-inning stretch?

A: Yes.

There might be hope for her yet.

Q: Did you add Harry Caray's famous ending, "Let's get some runs"?

A: Whatever.

She says that a lot.