Fantasy Team Name Competition on Rotoworld.com:

MOST COMMON

The Nominees:

Chico’s Bail Bonds (from Bad News Bears)
Scared Hitless
Broke Bat Mountains (and variations thereof)
Master Batters
The Runs
Sportin’ Wood
Joe Mamas
And the winner is...Broke Bat Mountains. I admit that I chuckled when I read the first couple of variations, but they just kept coming and coming!

WORST

The Nominees:

Bad Knees Bears, submitted by Patrick Mulvey of Winchester, VA
Lots of Balls, submitted by TM
Newbie, submitted by Allan J.
Cradle the Balls, submitted by Steven M. Browning
George Bashington, submitted by Mike
The Toddinators, submitted by Chris Sauer
Bull Durham, submitted by Steve Lenger
Feet Olé, submitted by Doug Dennis of Cincinnati
The Fowl Balls, submitted by Mike Snell
Bronx Bombers, submitted by Rich
Mike’s All Stars, submitted by Rich
You All Suck, submitted by Lance
And the winner is...George Bashington. Just personal preference here. I mean, what does George Washington have to do with baseball? The whole trick is forming the word “bash”? Worst of all, the owner’s name isn’t even George!

MOST TASTELESS (while still being acceptable for publication…sort of)

The Nominees:

My Balls Ichiro
Pabst Smears, submitted by Jeremy Craft
Go Foulke Yourself
Sexson Till I’m Dunn, submitted by Scott T. Sargent
And the winner is...take your pick. “Sexson Till I’m Dunn” at least has some creativity to it. “Pabst Smears” could have easily made the Worst list, as it has no merit whatsoever…just an attempt to offend.

FUNNIEST

The Nominees:

Me Love You Long Ball, submitted by Jay Fung
Regina Monologues, submitted by Dustin
You Down with OBP?, submitted by Allan J.
The Good, the Vlad, and the Uggla, submitted by Michael
Tejada They Come, Tejada They Fall, submitted by Dan Opp
The Beirut Canals, submitted by Warren
And the winner is...Me Love You Long Ball. Again, personal preference. All of the names in the list made me laugh, but “Me Love You Long Ball” had me rolling. I guess association with 2 Live Crew’s “Me So Horny” and the Full Metal Jacket sample contributed. But to me the beauty is that it actually makes sense…especially for a team with an abundance of sluggers. Well done, Jay Fung!

BEST

The Nominees:

Pepins of Mass Destruction, submitted by Brian Pepin
The Plague, submitted by Jack Heston
Lord of the Rings, submitted by Todd Simon
Haas of Payne, submitted by Chris Pardo (last names of the team’s co-owners)
And the winner is...Haas of Payne. Hands down. Certainly there is a luck factor in that the owners’ last names lined up so perfectly, but this name has all of the elements: It’s clearly intimidating, reflects the owners, and is supremely clever. And can’t you hear “Jump Around” as the team song? “Pack it up, pack it in. Let me begin….”