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Thread: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

  1. #16
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    CE Presents:
    RedsZone Guide to Game Threads

    SECTION 3: Running Gags in the Game Thread

    As you familiarize yourself with the Game Thread process, you’ll begin to note several things that do not make sense. For example, you might happen to see a post like the following:

    That Ryan Freel sure is scrappy. What a scrappy flyout that was.
    You might then think to yourself: “Self, I don’t at all see what was so ‘Full of fighting spirit’ (thank you http://www.dictionary.com) about that flyout. It seemed pretty routine to me.” Ahh yes, my friend, you’ve fallen victim to yet another RedsZone Running Gag. In order to help you not waste valuable time googling in the future, the Game Thread Guide presents an incomplete list of the RedsZone Running Gags:

    - Ryan Freel is scrappy (he just is – deal with it)
    - Ryan Freel doesn’t play enough (even 162 starts would be too few for this scrappster)
    - Ryan Freel is too valuable to do anything (in fact, to protect his value, he should just sit at home and watch reruns of MASH)
    - Chris Denorfia would’ve caught any fly ball hit to the outfield (he’s just that damn good – or “just that good” for all George Grande fans)
    - Adam Dunn needs to make more contact (a 500 post thread saying so can’t possibly be wrong. Everything that goes wrong in the Reds lineup is due to Adam Dunn not making enough contact. Again, just deal with it)
    - All free agent signings are to be “Loathed” (the money could’ve been better spent, the oldster is holding down a kid, and he kills babies on the weekends)
    - Tony Womack hates On Base Percentage, even when he gets a base hit or walks (he tacks a copy of Baseball Prospectus to his dartboard before the season starts)
    - Player’s don’t ground into double plays, players ground into Casey plays (because even the best mayor still can’t resist a 2 for 1 special)
    - Player’s don’t hit home runs, they hit a Milton (and when they hit, they hit him hard)
    - No batting order is ever correct.
    - Any problem on the RedsZone website is caused by a group of 10 mysterious individuals who would prefer to be only known as “The 10” (because apparently, they’re all big Johnny Rivers fans)
    - The offense is the cause for all of the Reds problems – if they lose 10-7, it’s because Austin Kearns didn’t drive in his 6th RBI of the night in a timely fashion
    - There is a vast conspiracy to send every good player on the Reds 25 man roster to Louisville (by Greyhound, usually)
    - Reds.com is the anti RedsZone – anything that makes RedsZoners happy makes Reds.com fans bang their heads into spikes (think Superman “Bizarro World” with a lot less Kryptonite)

    And, finally:

    - At no point in the game thread is there ever anything resembling rational coverage of the game. It’s all a big trick to boost Krono’s post count.

    Thank you for your attention, and look forward to future “Guides to the Game Thread” in future Game Threads!
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

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  3. #17
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by paintmered
    The feeling is mutual. We love him playing in Cincinnati too.
    Yeah, we like him playing here so much we would trade him for a couple of relievers.
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  4. #18
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Heath
    Tony Womack's bags are packed. Just sayin.
    I packed my bags last night pre-flight
    Zero hour nine a.m.
    And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
    I miss the field so much I missed that strike
    It’s lonely on the bench
    On such a hitless night

    And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
    Till touch down brings me round again to find
    I’m not the man they think I am at Redszone
    Oh no no no I’m a womack man
    womack man burning out his fuse up here alone

    Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
    In fact it’s cold as hell
    And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
    And all this science I don’t understand
    It’s just my job five days a week
    A womack man, a womack man
    Get your nunchucks and the keys to your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun

  5. #19
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Hatte batting 3rd Wow that even made me come out of the woodwork and post

    Dunn has faired well against Ohka , .555 3 HR in 20 ab's.................

  6. #20
    All dyslexics must untie!
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Watching Phillips at the dish...I get Jeffrey Hammonds flashbacks
    Never overlook the obvious

  7. #21
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Anyone else having prob. with MLB.com audio or is it just me??
    I'm East of you. Be very very worried. Not quite OBX. But, be worried.

  8. #22
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    surprised how low the brewers have fielder in the order.........

  9. #23
    Leading league in hotness
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    What a waste of a 3 spot

  10. #24
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Hatt 3rd?? come on.
    Go Gators!

  11. #25
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by indyred
    surprised how low the brewers have fielder in the order.........
    Must take tips on lineups from the Reds
    Go Gators!

  12. #26
    Pflugerville, Tx. Barbarossa's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by 2001MUgrad
    Anyone else having prob. with MLB.com audio or is it just me??
    I can't get on either. Try again in a few minutes.
    "The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen."
    Bob Lemon

  13. #27
    Your killin' me Smalls! StillFunkyB's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    I really don't think it is possible to have a decent lineup for the team from Cincinnati, nicknamed the Red Legs.
    "And the fact that watching him pitch is like having someone poop on your soul." FCB on Gary Majewski

  14. #28
    Leading league in hotness
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    well at least Hatt has some good protection


  15. #29
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbarossa
    I can't get on either. Try again in a few minutes.
    Okay good. Well not good, but I was about ready to restart and start cussin, at least I know its not my Comp.
    I'm East of you. Be very very worried. Not quite OBX. But, be worried.

  16. #30
    Member OnBaseMachine's Avatar
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    Re: 4/20/06 - Reds vs Brewers Game Thread

    With five runs tonight, the Reds will become the first NL team to reach 100 runs scored this season. Cleveland reach the 100 run mark today in their 16th game; Baltimore did it in their 17th game. The Reds are playing their 16th game.
    I miss Adam Dunn.


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