10 Reasons why the Reds were losing in previous years...
10. Bob Boone meant well.... He just could re-invent the game.
9. Bronson Arroyo and Brandon Phillips played for other teams.
8. Carl Linder gave the players too much Milk and Bananas before each game. (Too tired to play with full bellies).
7. Adam Dunn thought "hitting the other way" was silly and offensive.
6. Carl Linder secretly had Wayne Krivsky duct taped to a desk in Minnesota so that his prodigal son, Dan O'Brien, could work his magic.
5. The scouting and player development departments were instructed to sign and develop players (including unsignable draft picks) who "would not cost us much" in the long run.
4. Brandon Larson, Wily Mo Pena and several of their "5 tool" cousins could not take the pressure of playing in a "small market" city.
3. As a deterrent, the Reds had their players take anti-steroid pills, thus reducing their abilites by 30 to 50%.
2. Dave Miley was so huggable.
1. Dan O'Brien was one heck of a GM and evaluator. For me to poop on!