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Thread: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

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    Mon chou Choo vaticanplum's Avatar
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    RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Warning: irrational, one-sided, low-maturity-level rant to follow:

    I have had it with Cubs fans. If anyone ever again says a word to me about Yankees/Red Sox/Cardinals/Giants [fill in team here] fans and their arrogance, ignorance, or obnoxiousness, I am going to silently point them in the direction of Wrigleyville and watch their mouths drop when they get there. I have lived in Cincinnati, New York (they have two teams there), San Francisco, Seattle, and have visited stadiums in others too, and until I moved to Chicago (they have two teams here too, and one of them is even good, not that you'd ever know it), I had never, ever encountered anything like this. It is not the fact that they love a team that happens to be a rival of one of mine. I really have no serious problems with any other team in the division, nor any team in the division of my Yankees except for Boston. Quite the contrary, I have been researching the a year and a half now for a project, and I have great respect for the team and its fascinating, almost endearing history. But the fans have almost taken away anything I might have felt for the team itself, because of the way so many of them seem to view their own team, other teams, other fans, and even the sport.

    Look, Cubs fans. You love a baseball team. I think that's wonderful. Your team has a history of heartbreak. I think you play that up a little bit, but there's no denying a lot of it, and you know God bless you for playing it up, because baseball heartbreak is one of the toughest kinds. I feel for you. Do you know why these things are? Because I love a baseball team too, and I have had baseball heartbreak too. What's that you say? That's impossible? The Cubs are the only team and and also the only team that has ever lost? And you're not going to listen to my infinite facts disputing these two claims because you're too busy vomiting your Jager shots on that Harry Caray statue over there? Fine then. That give me time to put all of the reasons why you drive me to insanity in convenient list form, and maybe my fellow Reds fans will be interested in hearing them.

    1. Cubs fans believe their team is special and that everyone else thinks it is special too. I love the Reds; they are a special team. They started baseball, they fielded the greatest team in the history of the sport, and they boast a higher percentage of pretty uniforms than any other team in baseball historically speaking (present uniforms excepted). I love the Yankees; they are a special team. They are the greatest team in history and they play in the most extraordinary city in the world. My friend loves the Orioles; they are a special team...I have another friend who loves the Royals; they are a special team...do you see how this works, Cubs fans? Yes, you are unique, and so is your team. So is every other team. That's why there are different ones. I've had Cubs fans seem genuinely baffled when I tell them that I am not a Cubs fan. And then it gets better:

    Exemplary actual quote: "You're a Reds fan? [pause] Why?" And not why in the way of, "Gosh, I'm really interested, why don't you tell me about your team and how you came by your fandom" but why in the way of "HUH?!?! People like OTHER TEAMS?!?" I am quite used to explaining my Yankees fandom and I have a stock speech prepared for inquisitors. But the Yankees are a HATED team. Cubs just cannot fathom a love of ANY other team, even a non-hated one.

    2. Cubs fans believe that their fandom is special. (extension of point 1) If, by chance, a Cubs fan can get beyond point 1 and accept the fact that there are other teams that have fans, they still hit a standstill here. Another fan may love his team, but there is no way he can love it AS MUCH as the Cubs fans love the Cubs. It's a mystical thing with them. Because they have not won a World Series in eighty gajillion years, this somehow makes their fandom stronger. Now, I'm not arguing the devotion and loyalty of Cubs fans. Many baseball fans would have fallen off the bandwagon long ago (although I now believe that many fans have since jumped on the LOSER VICTIM bandwagon, but I'm not even going to get into that today). So kudos to them for sticking around. But the jump from "loyal fans" to "more loyal fans than any other team" is baffling to me. Talk to a Royals fan, will you. I never hear them complaining about their horrible horrible team or the curse of the call, and you know why? Probably because they're sitting at the ballpark watching the game instead of making love to that Harry Caray statue over there.

    Exemplary actual quote: "I didn't choose the Cubs. They chose me. It's that kind of connection." Ahhhh I get it! No one else can possibly know what you feel for your team, because we all sat down with Bill James's books and chose our favorite teams based on who was most likely to not disappoint us statistically!! Whereas you were just shot in the heart by Cupid's Arrow of Love and Loserdom!!! The great -- the GREAT -- irony in this is that this quote came from, I kid you not, someone who has been following the Cubs since the fall of 2003. If that's not choosing a baseball team, I don't know what is. And the thing is, I hate myself for even thinking this way. I don't begrudge anybody any their fandom if it's genuine. I don't care if your parents played radio baseball games for you in the womb or if you became a fan at 40 years old because Sammy Sosa knocked you unconscious with a foul ball and paid your hospital bills. Heck, I came around to the Yankees later in my life and I think about them morning noon and night. But the "it's that kind of connection" part...this, to me, is critical in Cubsland. When you are a Cubs fan, you have a connection to a team unlike any other. aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. And this drives me to think this way.

    Cubs fans are fans of the current Cubs team. They are not baseball fans. Ask a Cubs fan about Ichiro. Ask a Cubs fan about David Wright. Ask a Cubs fan about Joe Crede, even. They'll mumble a few words, then go back to talking about how Kerry Wood is due to be back any day now. Heck, ask one about Hack Wilson. You're likely to get a look of confusion, a furrowed brow, and a response of, "I dunno...hey, you wanna make out?" Some of them know what's going on, but they don't care to talk about it. They only want to talk about the Cubs. And since the Cubs are the only team and their fans are the most specialist ever in the history of the whole wide world, they assume that you feel the same way.

    Exemplary direct quote: (Wrigley Field, Reds at Cubs, April 11, 2006. Bronson Arroyo pitching for the Reds against the Cubs for the second time this season) (5th or 6th inning, ie. well through the lineups already) "Hey, where's that Wily Mo dude?"

    NOW. The thing is, I have known some wonderful Cubs fans in my life. There are a lot, a lot, of wonderful Cubs fans in fact; knowledgable, gracious, warm-hearted people who enjoy watching any baseball game, even if it's the Cubs against the Cardinals. I know two Cubs fans who are two of my loveliest friends and fellow baseball fans, though it's worth noting that neither of them lives in Chicago anymore. But the reason that I've reached my breaking point is that I used to think that those fans were the majority, and the ones sobbing and throwing up on Harry Caray over there were just a few burnt cookies who didn't spoil the batch. I'm starting to think that I was wrong. I'm starting to think, at the very least, that the good Cubs fans are dying out, and are being replaced by all the ones crawling on Harry Caray over there, who these days comprise the majority of my neighborhood and, more to the point, the crowd at Wrigley Field. What do you guys think?

    There are at least three more points on this. I will continue at another time.
    Last edited by vaticanplum; 05-04-2006 at 07:28 PM.
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Living in Northern Indiana for awhile now, and through my time at my undergrad, I'd have to say that your description is dead on VP. I enjoyed that bit of writing a lot, and it is pretty much the same impression that I have gotten. Cubs fans are definitely an interesting bunch.

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    Dunnilicious creek14's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Brilliant.

    And as a past resident of Chicago I can confirm - every word is true.
    Will trade this space for a #1 starter.

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    Plays The Right Way Hap's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Do they know that Mark Grace won a ring with another team?
    .

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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Quote Originally Posted by Hap
    Do they know that Mark Grace won a ring with another team?
    NO HE DIDN'T






    I hope it's never sunny in Philly again.

  7. #6
    Playoffs Cyclone792's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    I've been down to GABP enough in recent seasons when the Cubs were in town to realize how Cubs fans infiltrate our park and seemingly try to take it over (there's tons of threads on RZ about this too).

    One Cubs fan scenario I witnessed was simply a night to remember, and occurred circa April, 2003. Two buddies and I were in the bleachers for a Reds/Cubs game and like always we had quite a few Cubs fans sitting amongst us. In particular was a group of a half dozen guys in their mid to late 20s, and they were a loud, boisterous group. What made it funny, however, was they were heckling their own team, not the Reds, and the Cubs weren't exactly playing an error free ballgame.

    Here's a synopsis of what went down:

    Cubs third base coach Wendell Kim makes a coaching blunder, sending a Cubs baserunner to his eventual doom and costing the Cubs more scoring opportunities.
    Cubs fans: YOU SUCK, WENDELL KIM!!! YOU ... [I would continue but the rest of the statements are not clean for the board. Just imagine a profanity laced tirade directed at Wendell Kim that lasted for quite a few minutes].

    Cubs starting pitcher Shawn Estes starts getting rocked.
    Cubs fans: YOU SUCK ESTES!!! [Again, much much more than this, but it's not clean for the board]

    Estes remains in the game and actually strolls to the plate to hit. Estes was a left-handed pitcher.
    Cubs fans: ESTES SUCKS!! HIT HIM ON THE HAND!!! THE LEFT ONE!!! [Once again, much more, but not clean]

    This went on for a solid five or six innings. Whenever a Cubs player or coach did something unapproving - which was about every batter and play that occurred - a barrage of insults would be unleashed about said player or coach. Me personally, I wasn't offended, and some of it was actually somewhat humorous, but there were also some families with children in the vicinity and some of the parents were getting quite upset (and I couldn't blame them one bit).

    Not surprisingly, the longer the profanity ensued, the more vocal other fans (mostly Reds fans) were about being upset, and guys starting throwing profanity at each other. A few sharp words and finger pointing later, a beer flies across the bleachers, fists get raised and a pair of guys are about ready to bull rush each other. It took wives/friends sitting around them to prevent an all out brawl, and it was one of those situations that was so loud and intense that the left fielder (I think it was Dunn) was breaking his neck to see the action.

    Cops are soon swarming the area, and guys are being led out of the bleachers, presumably being moved or ejected from the game. This entire time my buddies and I were having a casual conversation with the one "calm and sensible" Cubs fan in that group as well as another casual baseball fan - neither a Cubs nor Reds fan - who was just in town on business and seeing a game for something do.

    After the near fight, one exchange went like this:

    My buddies and I: You've got an interesting crew here.
    Calm Cubs fan: This isn't really uncommon as we like to enjoy ourselves at the game. Some of the boys get a little intense when stuff goes wrong on the field.
    The other casual baseball fan: That guy [who just got led away by police] sure put on a scene. What's he do for a living?
    Calm Cubs fan: Oh, he's a school teacher.

    Cubs fans, sometimes ya just gotta laugh

    EDIT: Gotta love Retrosheet ... here's the boxscore of that specific game: http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B04040CIN2003.htm. In the top of the 4th inning, Wendell Kim waved Mark Bellhorn from first to third on a single to right field and Kearns gunned him down. If Wendell Kim only knew the verbal abuse he took up in the bleachers for that blunder ...
    Last edited by Cyclone792; 05-04-2006 at 08:32 PM.
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    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Quote Originally Posted by TC81190
    NO HE DIDN'T






    Well to them he didn't, since their is no other REAL baseball team other then the cubs
    Go Gators!

  9. #8
    Member top6's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    I agree with this rant 100%, as a current resident of Chicago. However, I am disturbed by your defense of the Yankees, especially given your contention that Cubs fans think they are the center of the universe. Nobody - and I mean nobody - thinks their team is more important than Yankees fans.

  10. #9
    Member CrackerJack's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    I love Chicago and I love Wrigley, can't help it.

    Their fans never bothered me, they're amusing, I really don't get annoyed by them much, even though i can see where they can be if you take it all that seriously.

    The Reds are in my heart - it's a family/generational thing and despite how uptight, corporate and oppressive Cincinnati is generally speaking - it's my home and I appreciate it's history.

    I guess I don't know any Cubs fans personally, and maybe that's why I really don't have an opinion other than the fact I love going up to Chicago in the summer.

  11. #10
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Your thread title is redundant.
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

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    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Cubs Fans spelled backwards is Snaf Sbuc

  13. #12
    Danger is my business! oneupper's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    I'm glad no cubs fan has asked me to make out.
    "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

    http://dalmady.blogspot.com

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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Quote Originally Posted by westofyou
    Cubs Fans spelled backwards is Snaf Sbuc
    Best post ever. I love it.

    A drunk HC is the only endearing thing about the Cubs IMO.

  15. #14
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Having lived in Chicago for a few years, I quickly learned that there are two kinds of Cubs fans:

    1. The real Cubs fans. These folks don't actually live in Chicago anymore. They found the housing costs in Wrigleyville and the surrounding vicinity has become so gentrified that they can no longer live in the city. If they are actually able to find a place in Chicago, it's usually in a place like Lincoln Square or Rogers Park.

    2. The "Lincoln Park Trixies" and their boyfriends, the "Chads". These are folks who went to any one of a number of major Midwestern colleges and promptly moved to Chicago after graduation. Miami University has significant representation among this group. They're epicenter is, where else, Lincoln Park, and they can often be seen hitting various trendy bars on the North Side, shopping for home furnishings at Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel, and selling their soul for a 1 bedroom condo on N. Sheffield. There used to be a website dedicated to them. Here's the wayback machine entry: http://web.archive.org/web/200103021....lptrixie.com/

    These folks aren't Cubs fans. The Cubs are an accoutrement, like a nice handbag or an Anne Geddes "Babies in Flowerpots" print.
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

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    Knowledge Is Good Big Klu's Avatar
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    Re: RANT: Evil, evil Cubs fans

    Quote Originally Posted by Yachtzee
    Having lived in Chicago for a few years, I quickly learned that there are two kinds of Cubs fans:

    1. The real Cubs fans. These folks don't actually live in Chicago anymore. They found the housing costs in Wrigleyville and the surrounding vicinity has become so gentrified that they can no longer live in the city. If they are actually able to find a place in Chicago, it's usually in a place like Lincoln Square or Rogers Park.

    2. The "Lincoln Park Trixies" and their boyfriends, the "Chads". These are folks who went to any one of a number of major Midwestern colleges and promptly moved to Chicago after graduation. Miami University has significant representation among this group.
    Miami?! Yet another reason to hate the Cubs!

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    Go Bobcats!
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