Bad Things I did Today.

[wheels]

Let me start by saying that I am generally a well heeled guy...Genteel if you will. Yeah, I can be loud and stuff, but for the most part I have good social graces and don't generally get myself into too much trouble.

But there's this other side of me. I've got a sick sense of humor, and I can do and say some very cringe inducing things.

I have good days and bad days.

Today was one of those bad days.

It started innocently enough. Got up, cooked the dog some breakfast, gave him his insulin, payed the bills, checked my fantasy baseball score (I've got a 27-8 record on Baseball Manager dontchaknow...), went to the bank. Normal stuff.

Then there was the car wash. It's one of those places that takes your car from you, vaccuums it out, runs it through the machine, all while you wait. Well, I was just sitting there watching CNN, when this yuppy wearing a pink Ralph Lauren shirt, pleated pants, and tasseled shoes (you know, the whole business casual look) talking very loudly on his cell phone about "meetings" and "emails"....Guh!

Anyway, the guy TURNS THE TELEVISION OFF so he can make all of his moreimportantthananythingyoucouldeverdo calls. The whole time, I'm sitting there at once trying to contain myself and devise some kinda scheme to do something totally passive aggressive to the guy.

You've got to understand...I hate these people. They're worse than hippies. Way worse. At least hippies do funny things and really don't hurt anyone.

So, as he's talking, I started feeling really "gassy", to put it mildly. I went out with my girlfriend last night, and on the way home I picked up some White Castles, so something mighty was brewing down there. So, when I was able to put two and two together, I decided to hold it until my name got called to pick up my car. Lemme tell ya, that wasn't easy. I felt like I was on a date or something (I don't do that stuff around my girlfriend and that's what makes me a gentleman). Anyway, I soldiered on for twenty minutes or so, until I heard those two beautiful words "Jon Michael!" (they know me by name there)and I was out of there like a flash, but I left a gift that surely kept on giving behind.....I did bring a little with me, and it was definitely a winner.

When I got home, I noticed the girl that lives next me had yet to pick up her mail, and there was a Victoria's Secret catalogue sitting right there on top of her mailbox......I mean, I'll put it back, but I haven't seen one in a long time.
I'm just curious is all.

That's not really very bad, is it?

[TeamBoone]

I think you contained yourself very well. I would have turned the TV back on and had he dared to question it, I would have layed into him verbally.

[pedro]

[Roy Tucker]

So was there accompanying audible evidence or was it SBD?

[max venable]

I think you contained yourself very well. I would have turned the TV back on and had he dared to question it, I would have layed into him verbally.

Me too. I would have had to let the know exactly how I felt about it. But that's just me.

A stink-bomb let's him off too easy, IMO. But thanks for sharing

[RedFanAlways1966]

Right on, wheels!

[REDREAD]

Just remember not to eat White Castle before the Columbus Redszone gathering.

[TeamCasey]

[15fan]

I'd have turned the tv back on, then walked over and sat down next to him, pulled out my cellphone, and started talking more loudly than he was. If he got up to move, I'd have been his shadow.

And during my cellphone conversation, I'd have shared my thoughts about guys who wear pink shirts.

[traderumor]

Here's hoping taking some with you was gas and not solid---they aren't called sliders for no reason, ya know

[creek14]

I would have turned that TV back on faster than the Reds bullpen can blow a lead.

[wheels]

Yeah, but there were a few others in there too, and I didn't want to cause a huge scene.

But that collateral damage after I left must have been something.

[BUTLER REDSFAN]

i've got ya beat-went to kings island saturday night-took the kids(with the wife) to the flintsone(spongebob wasnt showing that night) 3d ride--the one where you are strapped in with a partner for the movie---i had to let one fly as soon as the movie started-couldnt be helped...........my wife was in agony the whole movie being strapped to a noxious cloud and i was laughing my,uh butt off

[CrackerJack]

There's just something...not quite right....about White Castles.

[CrackerJack]

-i had to let one fly as soon as the movie started-couldnt be helped...........

Uh huh...