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Thread: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

  1. #1
    Worst Behavior. reds44's Avatar
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    Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Chris Denorfia doesn't sleep, he waits.

    When Saddam Huissen claimed to have weapons of mass distruction, he merely kidnapped Chris Denorfia and trained his soldiers on the Total Gym.

    Chris Denorfia tears are the cure to cancer for a known fact.
    Too bad Chris Denorfia has never cried!

    Chris Denorfia touched M.C. Hammer.

    Chris Denorfia built the house he was born in.

    Chris Denorfia has sued NBC for the name of the show "Law & Order", stating that those are the names of his left and right legs.

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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Recycling Chuck Norris jokes FTL
    I hope it's never sunny in Philly again.

  4. #3
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Yeah the total gym one gives it away
    Go Gators!

  5. #4
    C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WVRed's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Chris Denorfia once had a street named after him in Cincinnati, but once everybody who crossed the street died, they changed the name.

    No one crosses Chris Denorfia and lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by savafan View Post
    I've read books about sparkling vampires who walk around in the daylight that were written better than a John Fay article.

  6. #5
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    When Chris Denorfia comes up, the scoreboard lists his HRs, RBIs, and "Batting Outstanding" for his stats -- because nothing about Chris Denorfia is average.
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  7. #6
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Wait, are we talking about Denorfia or Denofria here?
    My dad got to enjoy 3 Reds World Championships by the time he was my age. So far, I've only gotten to enjoy one. Step it up Redlegs!

  8. #7
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Quote Originally Posted by savafan
    Wait, are we talking about Denorfia or Denofria here?
    Deno is both.
    Go Gators!

  9. #8
    OlafTheBlack Dan's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    Chris Denorfia gave birth to Jim Coombs
    Sabermetrics is this: A batter's goal is to extend the inning. Extend enough innings and you're going to score runs. Extend more innings than your opponent and you're going to score more runs than him.

    Forget the rain. It's never an official game until the Reds piss away a run between third base and home plate. - Bluegrass Redleg

  10. #9
    Smells Like Teen Spirit jmcclain19's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    The Phillies board had a funny, quite long list going for Cole Hamels

    http://mysite.verizon.net/heyjude421/chf/chf.html

    Some of my favorites

    -When he was born, Cole Hamels was given a rattle and a radar gun.
    -Cole once pitched both ends of a double-header. He pitched the first game lefty, and then pitched the second game righthanded. Both were complete game shutouts.
    -Cole Hamels will carry Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware's 39 electoral votes in 2008 as a write-in candidate, making them red-pinstriped states.
    -Cole Hamels is so good, Nolan Ryan addresses him as"Sir".
    -Cole Hamels curveball is so good, it broke 12 to negative 6.

  11. #10
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    - Chris Denorfia doesn't take batting practice, Chris Denorfia takes home run practice.

    - Chris Denorfia moonlights as a crime fighter on off days and has never missed making a bust. Crime in Louisville has dropped to 0 because Chris Denorfia always makes his catch.

    - In Wiffleball, naming your ghost runner "Chris Denorfia" ensures he'll score from first base every time.

    - Chris Denorfia never took quarters to the batting cage as a kid -- he simply walked into the box and stared down the pitching machine until it started throwing.

    - The only base Chris Denorfia has never stolen is Ft. Sill, and that's just because he owes Oklahoma a favor.
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  12. #11
    Stat Wanker Hodiernus RedsManRick's Avatar
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    Re: Insert your Chris Denorfia jokes here

    - Chris Denorfia has never been caught stealing. "Stealing" implies he doesn't own the base already and, as you know, all your base are belong to Chris Denorfia.
    Games are won on run differential -- scoring more than your opponent. Runs are runs, scored or prevented they all count the same. Worry about scoring more and allowing fewer, not which positions contribute to which side of the equation or how "consistent" you are at your current level of performance.


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