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Thread: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

  1. #31
    Big Red Machine RedsBaron's Avatar
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    Re: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Falls City Beer
    In the 14th century in Glasgow, Scotland, Archbishop Dunbar execrated some reivers for raping and pillaging and generally returning to their pagan ways. It's a curse, and I share it with you, gentle readers, in the hope that you can apply to the 2006 Cincy Reds bullpen:

    "I curse their head and all the hairs of their head; I curse their face, their brain (innermost thoughts), their mouth, their nose, their tongue, their teeth, their forehead, their shoulders, their breast, their heart, their stomach, their back, their womb, their arms, their legs, their hands, their feet, and every part of their body, from the top of their head to the soles of their feet, before and behind, within and without."

    "I curse them going and I curse them riding; I curse them standing and I curse them sitting; I curse them eating and I curse them drinking; I curse them rising, and I curse them lying; I curse them at home, I curse them away from home; I curse them within the house, I curse them outside of the house; I curse their wives, their children, and their servants who participate in their deeds. I (bring ill wishes upon) their crops, their cattle, their wool, their sheep, their horses, their swine, their geese, their hens, and all their livestock. I (bring ill wishes upon) their halls, their chambers, their kitchens, their stanchions, their barns, their cowsheds, their barnyards, their cabbage patches, their plows, their harrows, and the goods and houses that are necessary for their sustenance and welfare."

    "May all the malevolent wishes and curses ever known, since the beginning of the world, to this hour, light on them. May the malediction of God, that fell upon Lucifer and all his fellows, that cast them from the high Heaven to the deep hell, light upon them."

    "May the fire and the sword that stopped Adam from the gates of Paradise, stop them from the glory of Heaven, until they forebear, and make amends."

    "May the evil that fell upon cursed Cain, when he slew his brother Abel, needlessly, fall on them for the needless slaughter that they commit daily."

    "May the malediction that fell upon all the world, man and beast, and all that ever took life, when all were drowned by the flood of Noah, except Noah and his ark, fall upon them and drown them, man and beast, and make this realm free of them, for their wicked sins."

    "May the thunder and lightning which rained down upon Sodom and Gomorra and all the lands surrounding them, and burned them for their vile sins, rain down upon them and burn them for their open sins. May the evil and confusion that fell on the Gigantis for their oppression and pride in building the Tower of Babylon, confound them and all their works, for their open callous disregard and oppression."

    "May all the plagues that fell upon Pharaoh and his people of Egypt, their lands, crops and cattle, fall upon them, their equipment, their places, their lands, their crops and livestock."

    "May the waters of the Tweed and other waters which they use, drown them, as the Red Sea drowned King Pharaoh and the people of Egypt, preserving God's people of Israel."

    "May the earth open, split and cleave, and swallow them straight to hell, as it swallowed cursed Dathan and Abiron, who disobeyed Moses and the command of God."

    "May the wild fire that reduced Thore and his followers to two-hundred-fifty in number, and others from 14,000 to 7,000 at anys, usurping against Moses and Aaron, servants of God, suddenly burn and consume them daily, for opposing the commands of God and Holy Church."

    "May the malediction that suddenly fell upon fair Absolom, riding through the wood against his father, King David, when the branches of a tree knocked him from his horse and hanged him by the hair, fall upon these untrue Scotsmen and hang them the same way, that all the world may see."

    "May the malediction that fell upon Nebuchadnezzar's lieutenant, Olifernus, making war and savagery upon true Christian men; the malediction that fell upon Judas, Pilate, Herod, and the Jews that crucified Our Lord; and all the plagues and troubles that fell on the city of Jerusalem therefore, and upon Simon Magus for his treachery, bloody Nero, Ditius Magcensius, Olibrius, Julianus Apostita and the rest of the cruel tyrants who slew and murdered Christ's holy servants, fall upon them for their cruel tyranny and murder of Christian people."

    "And may all the vengeance that ever was taken since the world began, for open sins, and all the plagues and pestilence that ever fell on man or beast, fall on them for their openly evil ways, senseless slaughter and shedding of innocent blood."

    "I sever and part them from the church of God, and deliver them immediately to the devil of hell, as the Apostle Paul delivered Corinth. I bar the entrance of all places they come to, for divine service and ministration of the sacraments of holy church, except the sacrament of infant baptism, only; and I forbid all churchmen to hear their confession or to absolve them of their sins, until they are first humbled / subjugated by this curse."

    "I forbid all Christian men or women to have any company with them, eating, drinking, speaking, praying, lying, going, standing, or in any other deed-doing, under the pain of deadly sin."

    "I discharge all bonds, acts, contracts, oaths, made to them by any persons, out of loyalty, kindness, or personal duty, so long as they sustain this cursing, by which no man will be bound to them, and this will be binding on all men."

    "I take from them, and cast down all the good deeds that ever they did, or shall do, until they rise from this cursing."

    "I declare them excluded from all matins, masses, evening prayers, funerals or other prayers, on book or bead (rosary); of all pilgrimages and alms deeds done, or to be done in holy church or be Christian people, while this curse is in effect."

    "And, finally, I condemn them perpetually to the deep pit of hell, there to remain with Lucifer and all his fellows, and their bodies to the gallows of Burrow moor, first to be hanged, then ripped and torn by dogs, swine, and other wild beasts, abominable to all the world. And their candle (light of their life) goes from your sight, as may their souls go from the face of God, and their good reputation from the world, until they forebear their open sins, aforesaid, and rise from this terrible cursing and make satisfaction and penance."
    Hey, FCB, you are not supposed to inject religion on this side of the board.
    Actually, I liked the post very much. The arms of Hammonds and Weathers are definitely cursed. They should be released, period.
    "Hey...Dad. Wanna Have A Catch?" Kevin Costner in "Field Of Dreams."

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  3. #32
    Member chicoruiz's Avatar
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    Re: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

    Does anyone else think it would be a nifty idea for Esteban Yan to spend the All-Star break at Mario Soto's Changeup Academy?

    I think he's one guy who could really benefit.
    "In baseball, you don't know nothin'"...Yogi Berra

  4. #33
    Making sense of it all Matt700wlw's Avatar
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    Re: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Chip R
    Hopefully tonight will be the last we see of Hammond and Weathers in setup roles.
    1 for 2 isn't bad.

  5. #34
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    Re: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by flyer85
    The question is why stay with the old guys who have shown they can't get it done and are just lucky to have a job. Belisle looked great last night so where was he Jerry?

    I said before the season that White, Burns and Hammond had no business being on the roster. Wayne, fix the problem and remove the temptation from Narron.

    Maybe coming off a back injury Narron didn't want to use Belisle last night. Maybe Jerry remembers that Belisle hasn't exactly been Mariano Rivera throughout his career.

    I think folks should be more understanding as to the specific bullpen decisions. The bullpen is poor. The choices are difficult because there is little to choose from. Today everyone is thrilled Shack is back. When Shack was last with the Reds, everyone said he needs to go back to AAA because he had a couple of bad games. Wait till Belisle has a bad game; we'll hear (correctly) that he hasn't been consistent as a Reds reliever. But today he is the superstar who should have pitched last night.

    The problem is with the pitchers, not the manager. Narron is faced with deciding which pitcher, of an ineffective lot, might possibly be ok for one night. Until somebody shows some consistency in this bullpen, Narron is simply making educated guesses.

  6. #35
    Harry Chiti Fan registerthis's Avatar
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    Re: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

    Vent my frustrations at the bullpen? OK.

    AAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

    I feel better, thanks.
    We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

  7. #36
    Moderator RedlegJake's Avatar
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    Re: Official Vent Your Frustration At Bullpen Thread

    There isn't an arm in the minors that a/I think would be an improvement or b/that wouldn't be rushing it to promote now. The better prospects are still too far away although I do believe we'll see Bailey before the season is over.


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