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Thread: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

  1. #1
    Maple SERP savafan's Avatar
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    Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    No word on whether Dr. Kremchek was consulted on this case.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060629/...kistan_bulb_dc

    MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

    Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

    "Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

    "We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

    Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

    "When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

    "I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

    The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
    My dad got to enjoy 3 Reds World Championships by the time he was my age. So far, I've only gotten to enjoy one. Step it up Redlegs!

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  3. #2
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    That's just mean
    Go Gators!

  4. #3
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Wow, I must be tired. I thought you were talking about the board game "Operation", and I thought to myself "I don't remember there being a light bulb in the anus, wait...I don't remember there even being an anus!!"
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  5. #4
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    /\ Must be the new version
    Go Gators!

  6. #5
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Where do you get these stories sava?

    And the guy doesn't know how it got there???

    Either it was a 40 watt soft-lite... or the Drs don't know what a prostrate looks like.
    Last edited by GAC; 07-01-2006 at 05:28 PM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  7. #6
    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    He thanked Allah?
    He should thank himself for not sneezing.

  8. #7
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Favorite song....

    "You light up my life"

    Debbie Boone
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  9. #8
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Quote Originally Posted by RFS62
    Favorite song....

    "You light up my life"

    Debbie Boone
    Personally - there's a title for a good ol C&W song there somewhere.

    "There's dark skies over Memphis, with not a star in sight
    And that's not the sunset over Nashville
    But my anus shinin' bright

    Ol Betty Lou is standin' there, just givin' me the stare
    'Put yer pants on Cletus, 'cause my eyes can't stand the glare!'"

    It's quite a sight is these here parts,
    and every soul alive
    says you can see ol Cletus' A$$ from interstate 75"
    Last edited by GAC; 07-01-2006 at 05:40 PM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  10. #9
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Someone must have been having an argument about something or other and someone probably said something about sticking it where the sun didn't shine. Well, they couldn't get the sun in there but they got the next best thing.
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

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  11. #10
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Man, I hate it when that happens

  12. #11
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    "Million to one shot, Doc..." Frank Costanza
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  13. #12
    So Long Uncle Joe BoydsOfSummer's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    "Everytime I farted I had a brilliant idea",said Mohammad.
    0 Value Over Replacement Poster


    "Sit over here next to Johnathan (Bench)...sit right here, he's smart."--Sparky Anderson

  14. #13
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    In a follow-up story, a string of Christmas lights was found in his urethra.
    Makes all the routine posts.

  15. #14
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    He thought they were asking for a beer and said Bud Light.

    Pay attention to the open sky


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