Alright, folks, it's time for another edition of "Things That Drive You Crazy."
People Who Leave a 40 Feet Space Between Themselves and the Car Ahead of Them in a Traffic Jam
The old principle of leaving adequate stopping distance behind the car in front of you holds true when travelling at speeds of 55 MPH, but when you are going 10 MPH, there is no need to do it. Trust us, you can stop on a dime when crawling.
There should be a federal campaign to address this. I can hear the jingle now...
"If you find yourself stuck....just scoot...the f*** up (honk! honk!)
Restaraunts that Scream to Welcome You Upon Arrival
I cannot stand when I enter a strip mall type eating joint that insists on making a scene once I walk through the door.
"Welcome to Moe's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Welcome to Firehouse!!!!!"
There are 30 people behind the counter who interrupt all they are doing to scream at you.
Look- this isn't a Royal Feast held in 13th century England where we have to announce people at the door.
I don't need their entire staff and customers to turn around and look at me everytime I am hungry- I honestly don't want that sort of attention at this point in my life.
And I really don't know what to do when this happens. Do I scream back at them? Do I wave? Do I thank them? A salute? Flip the bird? What?
Tip Jars At Carry Out Establishments
I have a probloem with the idea of tipping to begin with, but if you aren't refilling my drinks and coming back to check on me from time to time, I'm not giving you a tip. I shouldn't be guilted into making my meal more expensive than advertised just because you got the order right and handed it to me across the counter.
I always assume that getting the order right is included in the price.
It's not like you ever walk up to the counter and say, "Does that price include getting the order right?"
"No, sir, we charge extra for getting it correct and being nice to you."
"And how much extra do I pay for that?"
"Whatever you can afford, sir. Just put it in the cup."
These places should hang a sign on the tip jar that reads, "Here- you pay our staff."
When people at stop lights carry around a jar asking for money, we call them panhandlers. When carry-out restaurants do it, it's a legitimate business practice.
Maybe I should walk in with my own cup- "You wanna give me a few bucks for being a good customer? I said please and thank you, I was polite, my debit card was approved, I paid with exact change...I deserve a 5 spot for going above and beyond, don't I?"