Things That Drive You Crazy Part 46

[Dom Heffner]

Alright, folks, it's time for another edition of "Things That Drive You Crazy."

People Who Leave a 40 Feet Space Between Themselves and the Car Ahead of Them in a Traffic Jam

The old principle of leaving adequate stopping distance behind the car in front of you holds true when travelling at speeds of 55 MPH, but when you are going 10 MPH, there is no need to do it. Trust us, you can stop on a dime when crawling.

There should be a federal campaign to address this. I can hear the jingle now...

"If you find yourself stuck....just scoot...the f*** up (honk! honk!)

Restaraunts that Scream to Welcome You Upon Arrival

I cannot stand when I enter a strip mall type eating joint that insists on making a scene once I walk through the door.

"Welcome to Moe's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Welcome to Firehouse!!!!!"

There are 30 people behind the counter who interrupt all they are doing to scream at you.

Look- this isn't a Royal Feast held in 13th century England where we have to announce people at the door.

I don't need their entire staff and customers to turn around and look at me everytime I am hungry- I honestly don't want that sort of attention at this point in my life.

And I really don't know what to do when this happens. Do I scream back at them? Do I wave? Do I thank them? A salute? Flip the bird? What?

Tip Jars At Carry Out Establishments

I have a probloem with the idea of tipping to begin with, but if you aren't refilling my drinks and coming back to check on me from time to time, I'm not giving you a tip. I shouldn't be guilted into making my meal more expensive than advertised just because you got the order right and handed it to me across the counter.

I always assume that getting the order right is included in the price.

It's not like you ever walk up to the counter and say, "Does that price include getting the order right?"

"No, sir, we charge extra for getting it correct and being nice to you."

"And how much extra do I pay for that?"

"Whatever you can afford, sir. Just put it in the cup."

These places should hang a sign on the tip jar that reads, "Here- you pay our staff."

When people at stop lights carry around a jar asking for money, we call them panhandlers. When carry-out restaurants do it, it's a legitimate business practice.

Maybe I should walk in with my own cup- "You wanna give me a few bucks for being a good customer? I said please and thank you, I was polite, my debit card was approved, I paid with exact change...I deserve a 5 spot for going above and beyond, don't I?"

[Razor Shines]

1. I drive a lot and I used to be bothered by that too. But then I thought about it and what difference would it really make? You're just going to move up 40 ft.and sit.

2. I'd rather them not say anything to me when I walk in also. But I have found that those places usually have better service. My wife and I went to a sit down restaurant the other day that barely noticed us as we came in, and proceded to give us the worst service I've ever had in my life.

3. Agree 100%. Oh that pisses me off. Occasionally I will tip if it's really expensive carry out like from The Cheesecake Factory, but if I see a tip jar, or a mother ******* sign that says "I gladly accept tips", I won't and I'll usually tell them why.

[Hap]

Radio Shack clerks....sorry to you if there are any on board, but I don't need 100 free minutes from Sprint and I don't need another cell phone and I don't need any crappy remote controlled toys.

Best Buy clerks....I've already told seven of you that I'm just browsing so GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!

Wal-Mart shopping in general....you can't stop to look at something with out seventeen people bumping into you

[max venable]

Here are a few I'd like to nominate:

Blowers in restrooms. Just give me some paper towels...PLEASE! Don't you hate pushing the button and then rubbing your hands under the blower for what seems like ages? And then your hands still aren't dry. You always end up wiping them on your pants leg anyway.

When you're at a restaurant and the fork you're using has tines that don't line up quite right. You know, the fork has one prong that sticks up...it's like it's rebelling against the other tines. So what do we do? We take the fork out of our mouths, and then try and even things up by using our hands that we just tried to blow-dry and ended up wiping on our pants. Nice.

Ketchup packets at fast-food places. Okay...if you're gonna make us use ketchup packets, then make 'em bigger! First of all, it's just a huge hassel to try and rip the thing open. Sometimes you can't even get a good grip. Then when you do finally get a grip on it, you end up tearing the whole side open, making a mess in the process. So then you squeeze out the little-tiny bit of ketchup that's in the pack. And it's good for, what? Two fries? If you're like me, you spend five minutes opening enough ketchup packets for your super-sized fries that are cold by the time you get enough ketchup squeezed out for them. Plus, I always have the dilemma of where to squeeze the ketchup to...do I squirt it into the lid of my Big Mac? Do i try and flatten out a wrapper and squeeze it onto that? What's proper ketchup packet etiquette? And the part that makes NO SENSE to me it that ketchup packets come with FAST food. Right? The food is supposed to be designed to eat on-the-go. So you go through the drive-thru, and they give you ketchup packets for the car. How's THAT supposed to work?

[Dom Heffner]

1. I drive a lot and I used to be bothered by that too. But then I thought about it and what difference would it really make? You're just going to move up 40 ft.and sit.

You are correct in some respects, but where it gets you is if there is a traffic light involved. If the person in front of you doesn't scoot up, you miss the light. Happens to me everyday on the way to work. All because "Mr. just in case" can't scoot up.

I'm hearing my jingle right now.

"If you find yourself stuck...just scoot...

Radio Shack clerks

YES! And I hate stores- Radio Shack is notorious for doing this- who ask for your phone number, address, or zip code before they'll ring you up.

"What's your zip code?"

"What's your least favorite place for me to smack you silly?"

[Hoosier Red]

Two light switches in the same room.
You inevitably have to flip a switch up to turn the lights off or down to turn the lights on.
And it always leaves the light switches in a weird pattern on the wall.

Sorry just bought a new house which is beautiful and big and everything I need but this drives me nuts.
weird I know.

[Puffy]

When someone titles a thread "Things that Drives you Crazy" and then I get that Fine Young Cannibals song in my head and can't get rid of it.

[max venable]

YES! And I hate stores- Radio Shack is notorious for doing this- who ask for your phone number, address, or zip code before they'll ring you up.

Along those lines, I stopped into NAPA to buy a fuse for my minivan last week. A couple of things...first, the only guy working was on the phone and didn't even acknowledge me or the fact that I was searching for something. Second, after he hung up, the phone rang again and he answered it and spent several minutes with that call...all the while, I'm waiting at the counter. When I finally did get help and I found the fuse I needed (it was behind the counter anyway)...I had to wait another couple of minutes while the guy printed out a fancy 8 1/2 x 11 receipt...for a 50¢ fuse. They probably spent more than 50¢ on the ink and the paper. Can't ya just let me throw the 50¢ on the counter and walk away?

[Dom Heffner]

When someone titles a thread "Things that Drives you Crazy" and then I get that Fine Young Cannibals song in my head and can't get rid of it.

Just be happy I didn't name the thread "MmmmmBop!!!!!!"

Sorry about that. At least that other song is out your head now.

[Gainesville Red]

It drives me crazy when people don't flush the toilet in public restrooms.

I try my best to not go into public restrooms. Especially for #2. Never.

I hate when I have to pee, and I step up to the plate, and someone's poop is in there. It's just gross. I don't want to see your poop. Flush the damn toilet.

[minus5]

Radio Shack clerks....sorry to you if there are any on board, but I don't need 100 free minutes from Sprint and I don't need another cell phone and I don't need any crappy remote controlled toys.

YES! Radio Shack clerks drive me insane!!! Everytime I need a basic adaptor and just want the Radio Shack brand they want to sell me the Monster Cable version for 3 times more no matter what application I am using it for. If I thought I needed the gold plated, diamond studded Y connector for my 4 year olds VHS, I would have gotten it already!!! And no, you don't get my phone number.

[Rojo]

I hate lame sarcasm, par ejemplo:

J-Off: Dave's fishing in Baja this week.

D-Bag: Wow, talk about a rough life!

J-Off: Tell me about, poor guy.

Why can't you just skip those conversations?

[bucksfan]

Here are a few I'd like to nominate:

Blowers in restrooms. Just give me some paper towels...PLEASE! Don't you hate pushing the button and then rubbing your hands under the blower for what seems like ages? And then your hands still aren't dry. You always end up wiping them on your pants leg anyway.

When you're at a restaurant and the fork you're using has tines that don't line up quite right. You know, the fork has one prong that sticks up...it's like it's rebelling against the other tines. So what do we do? We take the fork out of our mouths, and then try and even things up by using our hands that we just tried to blow-dry and ended up wiping on our pants. Nice.

Ketchup packets at fast-food places. ...

I second those! However, and I fail to recollect the location, there is one establishment I visited in my New York City trip that had dryers that could propel a rocketship full of hippopotamuses to Mars. I could actually feel the air from the thing about 15 feet waya in the stall when others used it. It is the only dryer that has ever gotten my hands completely dry, and I must say it do so in the most expedient fashion.

[RichRed]

When someone titles a thread "Things that Drives you Crazy" and then I get that Fine Young Cannibals song in my head and can't get rid of it.

When someone mentions something that he could've easily kept to himself instead of deliberately getting that same song stuck in other people's heads so he won't be the only one suffering. I hate when that happens.

[vaticanplum]

People Who Leave a 40 Feet Space Between Themselves and the Car Ahead of Them in a Traffic Jam

The old principle of leaving adequate stopping distance behind the car in front of you holds true when travelling at speeds of 55 MPH, but when you are going 10 MPH, there is no need to do it. Trust us, you can stop on a dime when crawling.

There should be a federal campaign to address this. I can hear the jingle now...

"If you find yourself stuck....just scoot...the f*** up (honk! honk!)

I have a huge problem with people not being aware of how they fit in space. It boggles my mind how many people seem completely oblivious to how much room they take up as opposed to how much they actually need, and this is amplified by the fact that the majority of the population now seems unable to leave the house without carrying about two huge bags (which can take up as much space as a person, width-wise, though every person seems to think that his or her own bags are invisible).

A very tiny, slightly weavy person can somehow manage to take up a whole sidewalk. Here in Chicago, in particular, people walk very slowly and seem unable to move for anyone else, even if they're walking right towards them.

For those of you who ride public transportation in particular, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. If you're riding public transportation at rush hour, I'm sorry, but you really do have to make an effort to take up as little space as you can, and you can do this without infringing on people's personal space (I, for example, hate people or their bags touching me anywhere on the subway, but I still manage to take up minimal room). Sit in your seat; don't spread out to others. Stand straight up; don't place your feet three feet apart just to claim your gigantitude. There is a notable difference between men and women here. I see women giving up TOO MUCH space, crouching into themselves in a notable effort not to exist on the train or in fact the world. Whereas men want to claim their kingdom. It kills me when I see regular-sized men taking up a seat and a half just so they can spread their legs out, because apparently their manhood is so unbelievably enormous that they cannot put their legs together, but rather need to rest it on an entire half of their own seat. Dude.

I also see a difference in cities. I can safely say now that Chicago public transportation riders are the worst I've ever seen (I have discussed this here before). They have no concept of space and also believe that the fastest, most convenient way to get anywhere is to mow people down when they're trying to get off the train just so they can get on. I was in Washington about a month ago and I could not believe how well those people rode the subway. Stand aside. Let people off. Board subway. Take up your own space. It brought me to tears of joy. Those people should make instructional videos.

And on the space note, I also dislike it in crowded bars or movie theaters when people leave one seat between their own party and another. I understand this when there aren't many people there, but pay attention, because as places get crowded this will inevitably lead to disaster. Go to a movie theater and count all the empty seats in a row where there could very logically be a party of three or even four in a single row. We're past cooties, people. drives me bananas. Same thing goes for on-street parallel parking.

Well, guess I had to get that out.