Why College Football is Worse than the NFL

[Dom Heffner]

1) They don't have names on the back of their jerseys.

2) Nothing like watching a team that has 13th thru 16th graders on it.

3) The marching bands are..um...just wonderful. Nothing like hearing the same fight song someone wrote back in 1920.

4) They have dudes for cheerleaders.

5) If good grades really matter, why not watch members of the Dean's List play football?

6) It's great to see QBs learning to throw a spiral.

7) Love those 78-3 matchups (Yes, we know our team is going to get killed, but think of the national exposure we'll get in doing so!!! It's good for our school to get slaughtered! Really!)

8) Running backs are supposed to gain 300 yards on the ground every week, aren't they?

9) Gotta love those nail biter 29 yard field goals.

10) Do they still run the wishbone in college football?

11) Whose the college champion? We don't know! The ambiguity makes it all the more interesting, I guess.

12) You also have to love those armed forces teams. They are great for de-fense, but not for dee-fense if you know what I'm sayin'.

13) And why does Harvard have a team? So they can beat up Yale?

14) They don't have one Bowl Game, they have 40- it's like the Special Olympics- everybody gets to win.

15) These guys aren't getting paid to play? Noooooooooo.

[CincySportsFan1]

1) They don't have names on the back of their jerseys.

A lot of teams do...

[LoganBuck]

My list
1. Old people with money occupy the best seats. They complain loudly when people stand up and cheer during key times in the game. At Ohio State they are known as the "Blue Hairs between the 20s". They don't cheer and they certainly don't participate in organized cheering activities, like the wave.

2. The band plays a random medley of songs dedicated to obscure jazz artists, most "unique" songs. Said Blue Hairs will complain that nobody else is in their seat watching the band.

3. The clock stops after every 1st down. That is so annoying at the end of a game.

4. Ranking teams based on their percieved ability, instead of a playoff system.

5. Recruiting and the big heads it creates among primadonna high schoolers who have their butts kissed by every coach in America.

[Gainesville Red]

1) They don't have names on the back of their jerseys.

-My team does

2) Nothing like watching a team that has 13th thru 16th graders on it.

-Why does it bother you?

3) The marching bands are..um...just wonderful. Nothing like hearing the same fight song someone wrote back in 1920.

-I love our fight song, it's tradition. Rocky Top on the other hand,

4) They have dudes for cheerleaders.

-Dudes that would absolutley kick my ass

5) If good grades really matter, why not watch members of the Dean's List play football?

-Because they would suck. I thought you wanted good football.

6) It's great to see QBs learning to throw a spiral.

-Our QB throws a nice spiral, I'm pretty sure most D-I QB's do also.

7) Love those 78-3 matchups (Yes, we know our team is going to get killed, but think of the national exposure we'll get in doing so!!! It's good for our school to get slaughtered! Really!)

-Doesn't bother me, my school does the slaughtering.

8) Running backs are supposed to gain 300 yards on the ground every week, aren't they?

9) Gotta love those nail biter 29 yard field goals.

-What team are you watching?

10) Do they still run the wishbone in college football?

-What team are you watching?

11) Whose the college champion? We don't know! The ambiguity makes it all the more interesting, I guess.

-Got me there.

12) You also have to love those armed forces teams. They are great for de-fense, but not for dee-fense if you know what I'm sayin'.

-I like Air Force, check em out.

13) And why does Harvard have a team? So they can beat up Yale?

-They probably take a lot of pride in it.

14) They don't have one Bowl Game, they have 40- it's like the Special Olympics- everybody gets to win.

-I won't complain about extra month of football.

15) These guys aren't getting paid to play? Noooooooooo.

-Got me there. All the Gators seem to have expeditions and nice scooters.

[Dom Heffner]

Gainesville- Sometimes it's better to be funny than right.

Though the cheerleader thing- I mean, I don't care if it's parolees from San Quentin- male cheerleaders are never cool.

[Gainesville Red]

Gainesville- Sometimes it's better to be funny than right.

Though the cheerleader thing- I mean, I don't care if it's parolees from San Quentin- male cheerleaders are never cool.

Indeed. Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

[TeamSelig]

funny stuff

[DTCromer]

CFB is all about tradition and the people who usually don't like tradition, don't like CFB.

[Blimpie]

NFL is king, but college football is a worthy heir to the throne....

Keith Jackson farts in your general direction.

[RedFanAlways1966]

Good stuff, Dom! Even though I love college football.

[registerthis]

I generally enjoy college ball more than pro ball, but will never fully respect the college game until they rid themselves of that idiotic BCS and implement a legitimate playoff system that will generate a legitimate champion. This computer-generated, split championships, margin of victory and strength of schedule nonsense just doesn't make sense to me. Is the BCS really that much easier to implement than a playoff system? I mean, really.

[GoGoWhiteSox]

1) They don't have names on the back of their jerseys.

2) Nothing like watching a team that has 13th thru 16th graders on it.

3) The marching bands are..um...just wonderful. Nothing like hearing the same fight song someone wrote back in 1920.

4) They have dudes for cheerleaders.

5) If good grades really matter, why not watch members of the Dean's List play football?

6) It's great to see QBs learning to throw a spiral.

7) Love those 78-3 matchups (Yes, we know our team is going to get killed, but think of the national exposure we'll get in doing so!!! It's good for our school to get slaughtered! Really!)

8) Running backs are supposed to gain 300 yards on the ground every week, aren't they?

9) Gotta love those nail biter 29 yard field goals.

10) Do they still run the wishbone in college football?

11) Whose the college champion? We don't know! The ambiguity makes it all the more interesting, I guess.

12) You also have to love those armed forces teams. They are great for de-fense, but not for dee-fense if you know what I'm sayin'.

13) And why does Harvard have a team? So they can beat up Yale?

14) They don't have one Bowl Game, they have 40- it's like the Special Olympics- everybody gets to win.

15) These guys aren't getting paid to play? Noooooooooo.

Don't worry, I don't like college football either.

[reds1869]

I like college ball, but if I hadn't gone to Marshall my interest in it would truthfully be 1) getting me to NFL gameday and 2) watching for new NFL prospects. It would be on the level of colllege basebal: something I'll enjoy if I see it, but not something I'll go out of my way to watch. Hopefully the Herd gives me something to cheer about. But the college game is DEEPLY flawed and dishonest. It becomes harder to care every year for any reason other than school pride.