We love you, Junior. But you need to figure it out soon, please. Exaggerated for comic effect.
(To the tune of "Windy" by the Association).
Who's limpin' 'round in deep center field,
Waving at every fly ball he sees?
Who's always hangin' out on the DL?
Everyone knows it's Griffey
Who was a ten-time AL Gold Glover?
Who coulda won a few MVPs?
Who couldn't now outrun my grandmother?
Everyone know it's Griffey
And Griffey's a super pro
He's not selfish no no no
But if he was old and slow
He'd let us know (he'd let us know....)
Who says the fans and press should all be fair?
Just let him play wherever he please?
Who's gonna be out there in his wheelchair?
Everyone knows it's Griffey