Turn Off Ads?
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 21

Thread: Football Team Jokes

  1. #1
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Bellefontaine, Ohio
    Posts
    26,662

    Football Team Jokes

    In a Cleveland, OH (AP) -
    A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Cleveland courtroom
    drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who
    should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being
    beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to
    his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations
    requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
    When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and
    learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose just exactly who he preferred ,
    and WHO should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the " Cleveland Browns " football team....
    whom the boy firmly believes , is not capable of beating anyone ! ! !
    Last edited by GAC; 10-03-2006 at 08:27 PM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  2. Turn Off Ads?
  3. #2
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The 513
    Posts
    12,623

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    The Tampa Bay Buccaneers rush defense.
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  4. #3
    This one's for you Edd Heath's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Dayton Area
    Posts
    8,471

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    REPORTER - "What about the execution of the offense?"

    JOHN McKAY - Tampa Bay Coach - "I'm all in favor of it".
    Some people play baseball. Baseball plays Jay Bruce.

  5. #4
    This one's for you Edd Heath's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Dayton Area
    Posts
    8,471

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    (Monday Night Football after Boomer Esiason threw a pass right-handed - He was a lefty QB)

    DON MEREDITH - I didn't know ol' Boomer was amphibious.
    Some people play baseball. Baseball plays Jay Bruce.

  6. #5
    My clutch is broken RichRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    3,869

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

    -- Joe Theismann
    "I can make all the stadiums rock."
    -Air Supply

  7. #6
    Making sense of it all Matt700wlw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    26,507

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Pat Summerall trying to pronounce "Houshmandzadeh"

  8. #7
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Bellefontaine, Ohio
    Posts
    26,662

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract - Spider Lockhart

    1987 Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

    Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye."
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  9. #8
    How u doin
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    272

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    The Bengals have a superbowl trophy:

  10. #9
    15 game winner Danny Serafini's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Sultanes de Monterrey
    Posts
    4,183

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Matt700wlw View Post
    Pat Summerall trying to pronounce "Houshmandzadeh"
    "We'll just call him T. J., Pat." That was priceless.

  11. #10
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Lexington
    Posts
    4,893

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    In the bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a farmer were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

    The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands... clear up to his elbows... he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Tennessee and they taught us to be sanitary."

    The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of Louisville with a Law degree and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

    The farmer zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Kentucky and they taught us not to pee on our hands."
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  12. #11
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The 513
    Posts
    12,623

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Blimpie View Post
    The farmer zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Kentucky and they taught us not to pee on our hands."
    I'm not so certain that I'd be terribly proud of my school's reputation for producing intelligent farmers...

    ...just sayin'
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  13. #12
    Joe Oliver love-child Blimpie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Lexington
    Posts
    4,893

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Caveat Emperor View Post
    I'm not so certain that I'd be terribly proud of my school's reputation for producing intelligent farmers...

    ...just sayin'
    Point taken....alright, change that farmer to an architect.

    Costanza rulzes.
    "Booing on opening day is like telling grandma her house smells like old lady."--WOY

  14. #13
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Cincinnati, OH
    Posts
    34,347

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Blimpie View Post
    The farmer zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Kentucky and they taught us not to pee on our hands."
    I wonder what they did teach them to do on their hands?

    http://www.deadspin.com/assets/resou...orthescore.jpg
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  15. #14
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Bellefontaine, Ohio
    Posts
    26,662

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Chip R View Post
    I wonder what they did teach them to do on their hands?
    count.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  16. #15
    ZCTRMTP!!!!!
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    10,795

    Re: Football Team Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Blimpie View Post
    The farmer zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Kentucky and they taught us not to pee on our hands."
    At least we now know that Moises Alou isn't a UK grad.


Turn Off Ads?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Board Moderators may, at their discretion and judgment, delete and/or edit any messages that violate any of the following guidelines: 1. Explicit references to alleged illegal or unlawful acts. 2. Graphic sexual descriptions. 3. Racial or ethnic slurs. 4. Use of edgy language (including masked profanity). 5. Direct personal attacks, flames, fights, trolling, baiting, name-calling, general nuisance, excessive player criticism or anything along those lines. 6. Posting spam. 7. Each person may have only one user account. It is fine to be critical here - that's what this board is for. But let's not beat a subject or a player to death, please.

Thank you, and most importantly, enjoy yourselves!


RedsZone.com is a privately owned website and is not affiliated with the Cincinnati Reds or Major League Baseball


Contact us: Boss | GIK | BCubb2003 | dabvu2498 | Gallen5862 | LexRedsFan | Plus Plus | RedlegJake | redsfan1995 | The Operator | Tommyjohn25