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Thread: Chevy Chase, Tim Allen, and Red Green Have Got Nothing On Me

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  1. #1
    Member GAC's Avatar
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    Apr 2001
    Bellefontaine, Ohio

    Chevy Chase, Tim Allen, and Red Green Have Got Nothing On Me

    Whether it is being accident prone or just plan doing stupid stuff.... these guys have nothing on the GACster.

    I spent 3 hours at the ER yesterday with 1st degree burns over most of my face (top layer of skin gone) and my left arm. My hair line is pushed back a bit too.

    I was trying to get my push mower running, which hadn't been used since last year. It wouldn't fire. So I drained what gas was in there (figured it was bad), changed the plug and air filter. Still it wouldn't fire.

    I had been using the pliable push prime button on the side, but didn't smell gas, so I knew it couldn't be flooded. It seemed to me that it just wasn't getting any fire/spark from the plug. But I put a new plug in.

    So I was trying everything. I decided to hold open the butterfly on the carb, to see if it was getting gas while my son hit the switch.

    That is the last thing I remember.

    How or what happened I do not know. And believe me, I've had plenty of time since yesterday running this situation through my mind, and trying to figure out what caused it.

    But flames shot up into my face, and I wasn't directly over the carb either or it could have been worse, and the entire top of the lawnmower motor caught on fire. My wife (who was in the house) and the neighbor (who was out in his yard) said they heard an explosion. I didn't hear anything.... I just SAW. And it happened so fast, and I was on the ground.

    My wife, when she heard it, immediately thought "What has the idiot done now?" .... she knows me folks. She's been married to me almost 25 years.

    I was in the far back part of the yard so she didn't see what had happened to me until I started getting closer to here. When she saw me, she just about had a heart attack. The pain wasn't that bad because I think I was going into shock.

    Anyway, we got to the ER and I walked up to the counter and the nurse said "Can I help you?" Now folks, if you could see me, and believe me it's not a pretty sight - and some would say that even before the accident - why would anyone, especially an ER nurse say "Can I help you?" (implying what's wrong).

    Since I seem to always use humor in almost every situation, I almost said "Yeah, I stubbed my toe!"

    Finally, a couple more nurses came over, saw my situation, gasped, and said we are gonna have to clear a stall.

    5 minutes later I see them wheeling out a guerney from a room, with what I am assuming is a body on it because the sheets were pulled up over the head.

    I immediately thought to myself "I hope no one comes in after me!"

    They immediately started putting cold compresses on my entire face and left arm. Then every 10 minutes they'd come in and dribble cold water over it. The pain level was at it's height, so they started an IV for fluids, and started giving me morphine. They ended up, I think, giving me 17 mgs before I started to stabilize.

    When the Dr came in, he explained the severity of the situation and said that while my pain is enormous, and it looks bad, it is not as severe as it could have been.

    They applied this silver sulfadiazine cream and non-adhesive dressings to the affected areas - my 10 year old said I looked like the Mummy - gave me an ample supply of the same and how/when to use it.

    They then contacted my family physician, whom I have to go in and see this morning.

    Oh yeah - and I can't forget the Percocet. Thank God for percocet! But I started feeling alot better last night. The pain really subsided. I have alot of blisters on my arm, ears, and neck though. And my face is pretty raw red.

    The worse part was getting up this morning and having to remove the dressings and then shave off what was left of my beard. Fortunately, that region didn't get it as bad as from my nose up. I didn't have to worry about my eye lashes and eye brows. It reminded me of that Seinfeld episode where Uncle Leo lost his and Elaine drew them back on.

    But I've always had a beard, so it came as quite a surprise to my kids this morning. My 10 yr old said "Wow Dad, you look strange".

    I said "Take a good look son. It's the face of stupidity, and you better hope it's not genetic."

    But the Doc said it may look bad, but I'll be back to normal in about 2 weeks.

    And then my wife, after realizing I am going to be OK, injects "Maybe you should have set yourself on fire years ago then."
    Last edited by GAC; 10-09-2006 at 07:57 AM.
    "In my day you had musicians who experimented with drugs. Now it's druggies experimenting with music" - Alfred G Clark (circa 1972)

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