As has been well documented, my girl of three years and I split a few months ago.
In that time I've had little contact with her. I just felt things would get better for both of us if we weren't mucking it up for each other.
Sunday, I decided to call her just to kinda extend an olive branch of sorts. I think it's bad to carry around crappy feelings. It went pretty well. We talked for about half an hour, and we both got stuff off our chests. I actually felt kinda neato about it all. We even decided that we should get together and have a few pops, with the hope that we won't hate each other in the future.
Last night I made plans with a bunch of friends to get together for a day before Thanksgiving over embibe a thon. We do it every year, and it's always been a real gas.
So I'm sitting there listening to records and my phone rings.
It's her, of course.
A cheery hello and how's it going ensued, followed by an invite from her to go out after she finished up at work.
"I can't. Can you believe that?"
She quickly told me that it was okay, but I felt the need to tell her that I felt bad because it was my idea for us to get together in the first place.
I have no idea why I feel so weird about it all. Things felt natural when we talked on Sunday, but today I feel like I hurt her feelings.
Why should I care about that?
Why am I all jumpy and jittery now?
She didn't seem insulted over the phone, but she did exit the conversation rather abruptly.
Maybe I'm still afraid to see her, but I really do have plans tonight.
Maybe I'm still shocked that it's over.
Maybe I'm glad it's over, and my subconsious is trying to steer me clear of her.
Maybe I've had too much coffee.
I'm hoping someone can help me sort this out so I can have fun tonight.