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Thread: Black Friday

  1. #1
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Black Friday

    OK. How many are getting up at 4 AM and venturing out today for the sake of the sales?

    I don't even leave the house. No way!

    My wife and sister-in-law are going out.

    I would rather face al Qaeda then a woman with a shopping cart trying to get into WalMart or Targets at 5 AM. Your chances of survival are far greater.

    About 4 years ago my younger brother let his wife talk him into going out with her. He thought it couldn't be that bad.

    Being the older brother and married longer, I tried to educate him on the shopping gene....

    "Matt, you're inexperienced and untrained. While fathers were sending their boys to YMCA camps and baseball clinics, every mother out there was sending their daughters to training camps, refining their skills with a shopping cart on how to make the kill and a "take no prisoners" mentality.

    While you went on nature hikes to learn more about the environment, these girls were out in nature learning how to take down a deer with their bare hands!

    I'm telling you.... do you think it's mere coincidence that the week of deer hunting season coincides with Black Friday? Both involve fresh meat.

    The only reason your wife wants you to go along is because every hunter needs a dog.

    If you venture out there into that, somewhere there's a 600 lb woman, who probably nursed Dick Butkus when he was a pup, in her flowered bath robe and hair in curlers with a shopping cart all sharpened WAITING FOR YOU to take you out over a Furby!

    THINK MAN THINK!

    Let me save you the time and we'll go out in the shop, I'll get the hedge trimmers and castrate you right now."

    Below is the God's honest truth.....

    Well.... the boy went out anyway. He waited in line, at the crack of dawn, outside the new Super Walmarts for almost 2 hours with his wife and about 200 others.

    When the store was getting ready to open it's doors, here comes THAT woman pushing her shopping cart from the lot, and thinking she was gonna waltz right into the doors in front of everyone as if she had tenure or some right to do so.

    My brother made the ill-advised mistake of throwing his cart in front of her's in a weak blocking maneuver. He then opened his mouth and screamed "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

    The woman actually went after him physically.

    Where was his wife? Did she hang around to defend him?

    No... Doors opened, and she didn't hesitate. After all, we're talking the sales of the year here. Her husband made the greatest sacrifice, and his wounds will heal. She was in Walmarts with those other 200 women.
    Last edited by GAC; 11-24-2006 at 05:58 AM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

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  3. #2
    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    I worked for Hills Department Store for several years as Toy Department Head - believe me, Black Friday is a scary event on the other side of the trench.
    We all learned one simple rule early on - just stay out of the way.
    What always made the day was the clueless idiot who would come in on the sixth hour of a five hour sale and expect the items to not only still be on sale - but to be available period.

  4. #3
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    I have a friend who worked at K-Marts and said there were woman DIVING over counters! He said they had better form then T.O!
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  5. #4
    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    The year before I joined, a couple of ladies got into a fist fight over a Cabbage Patch Doll. One ended up with a broken arm.
    A few years later, a couple got into a huge verbal fight over a comforter. There were plenty of others available - they were fighting over a certain pattern. When the fight was over, there was one comforter left. The loser attempted to grab it - and was again denied. The guy who grabbed it ran over her foot.

  6. #5
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    Quote Originally Posted by MrCinatit View Post
    The guy who grabbed it ran over her foot.
    I hope he was in his car, because he needed a clean getaway!
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  7. #6
    Big Red Machine RedsBaron's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    A few years ago I went to the local Wal-Mart to buy a basketball backboard/rim/pole. Have you ever watched a NASCAR race, especially on a short track, where the drivers bump each other out of the way? That's what it was like in the shopping aisles. I literally had 60+ year old women ramming into the side of my shopping cart to gain track position. I got my basketball stuff and got out of there.
    I mentioned to my wife, the Lady Kimberly, a few hot sale items that were in our local paper yesterday, in case she wanted to venture forth today. She didn't, and I am not.
    We may go see the new James Bond movie later today. If the movie producers really wanted to put 007 in an incredibly dangerous situation, with the need of gadets from "Q" and marvelous stuntwork necessary for Bond to make his escape, maybe they should film a scene with Bond in a shopping mall on "Black Friday." What to call it......."From The Mall With Stuff"? "You Only Shop Twice"? "Shop And Let Die"? "The Man With The Gold Card"? "The Shopper Who Loved Me"? "For Your Charge Card Only"? "License To Shop"? "The Mall Is Not Enough"? "Shop Another Day"? "Mall Royale"?
    "Hey...Dad. Wanna Have A Catch?" Kevin Costner in "Field Of Dreams."

  8. #7
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    Quote Originally Posted by RedsBaron View Post
    We may go see the new James Bond movie later today. If the movie producers really wanted to put 007 in an incredibly dangerous situation, with the need of gadets from "Q" and marvelous stuntwork necessary for Bond to make his escape, maybe they should film a scene with Bond in a shopping mall on "Black Friday." What to call it......."From The Mall With Stuff"? "You Only Shop Twice"? "Shop And Let Die"? "The Man With The Gold Card"? "The Shopper Who Loved Me"? "For Your Charge Card Only"? "License To Shop"? "The Mall Is Not Enough"? "Shop Another Day"? "Mall Royale"?
    Priceless!

    How about....

    "I'll Beat The Living Daylights Out Of You"

    "From Walmarts With Love"

    "Aisleraker"

    "ShoppingEye"
    Last edited by GAC; 11-24-2006 at 07:56 AM.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  9. #8
    Matt's Dad RANDY IN INDY's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    Matt and I will be going to baseball practice and Mom is staying home, putting up the Christmas decorations. No shopping for us. We probably will be going to see the new Bond movie later in the day.
    Talent is God Given: be humble.
    Fame is man given: be thankful.
    Conceit is self given: be careful.

    John Wooden

  10. #9
    The wino and I know bucksfan's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    Not a chance. The only unfortunate thing about it is that I DO NEED to hit a couple of stores during my time off, but just out of principle I refuse to enter into such a stupid environment. I'll pay more if need be. We need to get the last layer of leaves off of the grass and get the Christmas decorations out of the attic, etc.

    Plus here it's too foggy anyway. THose same poorly-thinking indiviuals who forsake civility and rationale to "buy more stuff NOW" are also the same people that will be on the roads in this fog. My wife had to work an estate sale today. She just called me after arriving and said she could not believe all the people zooming around, no lights, etc and then almost rear-ending people at each stoplight. My daughter and I will remain home today, lest I accidentally teach her a new word or 2 during any attempted travels.
    Last edited by bucksfan; 11-24-2006 at 04:59 PM.
    "I'm virtually free to do whatever I want, but I try to remember so is everybody else..." - Todd Snider

  11. #10
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    Like a dummy, I made a doctor's appointment today, which would ordinarily be no big deal, but the place is right next to the mall.

    Terrific. I get to stand in line for something I'm not waiting for.

  12. #11
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    I do alot of my Christmas shopping on line. Free shipping right to your home. How can one say no? Got alot of it done yesterday.

    The only thing I'm gonna have a hard time getting probably is a Nintendo Wii for my son.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  13. #12
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    Yeah, I was playing around on ebay last night putting in bids on PS3s and I accidentally won one.

    I really didn't want it, but there I was bidding away. Oh well, at least I will have a blue-ray dvd player lol....

  14. #13
    Raaaaaaaandy guttle11's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    You guys are just shoppers, last year I had to work Black Friday at Target.

    This year, I'm celebrating by going to the UD/Louisville game at US Bank Arena.
    "I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Thatís the thing about bear attacks. They come when you least expect it."-Dwight K. Schrute

  15. #14
    For a Level Playing Field RedFanAlways1966's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    I give thanks that the good Lord gave me the common sense to stay home and read RedsZone on the day after Thanksgiving.
    Small market fan... always hoping, but never expecting.

  16. #15
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Black Friday

    My wife is still not back.

    I've been watching movies all day.

    Currently watching "The Westerner" with Gary Cooper and Walter Brennnan.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations


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