cooking disaster

[RFS62]

In our house, we call the smoke detector the cook timer.

[GAC]

In our house, we call the smoke detector the cook timer.

You should be hearing from Ron White's lawyer soon.


You are a lousy cook if....

Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren

Anyone has ever broken a tooth eating your homemade yogurt.

Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes like.

Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.

Your kids favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.

You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle.

Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner.

Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags.

No matter what you do to it the gravy still turns bright purple.

You burned the house down trying to make jelly.

Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

You used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan!

You feel you need a bigger oven to cook Chocolate Moose.

[bucksfan]

I applaud anyone that has the wherewithal to get into these situations. I am most definitely not a cook, though my wife is. My story goes something like this : I left a half-full pizza box on the counter and our dog got it.

[harangatang]

But once I did get the hang of lighting the stove, I guess I got a little bold. I realized that just jumping in there with the match was a quicker, albeit slightly more dangerous, method than holding it to the side and praying while the fire on the match slowly burned down to your hand. So one time I guess I just threw the match over the gas too fast. It lit right away and I smelled something burning, but I couldn't figure out what it was. A few minutes later my arm started to itch like crazy, and i looked down and realized: I had burned off all my arm hair. You wouldn't think something like this would be noticeable because arm hair is very light, but boy can you see it when you burn it all off. You have little charred marks and ash all over your arm.

I guess that is why we have arm hair, though, to protect ourselves, because I didn't feel a thing.

I hate to get way off topic but since you said that I have tell this story. Back when I was in high school I was sitting in a McDonald's drive thru with one of my friends and he thought it would be funny to singe some of the hairs off my arm. I was sitting there and I could smell something burning and I thought my car was on fire at first. I then looked down and my friend had a lighter lit on my arm and I couldn't even feel it. One of the craziest things ever, but he got it back, no worries. I don't want to stray the topic off farther.

[vaticanplum]

I hate to get way off topic but since you said that I have tell this story. Back when I was in high school I was sitting in a McDonald's drive thru with one of my friends and he thought it would be funny to singe some of the hairs off my arm. I was sitting there and I could smell something burning and I thought my car was on fire at first. I then looked down and my friend had a lighter lit on my arm and I couldn't even feel it. One of the craziest things ever, but he got it back, no worries. I don't want to stray the topic off farther.

The human body is a clever thing. Friends, not so much.

[registerthis]

I made some baked ziti once and forgot to cook the ziti noodles first.

That didn't work out so well.