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Thread: Woman charged with malicious castration

  1. #1
    post hype sleeper cincinnati chili's Avatar
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    Woman charged with malicious castration

    As opposed to benevolent castration:

    LILLINGTON, N.C. --A woman was charged with malicious castration for allegedly attacking a man during a Christmas party, police said...

    "All we can tell you is that the injury was done with her hands. There were no weapons used."

    STORY
    How, then, are those people of the future—who are taking steroids every day—going to look back on baseball players who used steroids? They're going to look back on them as pioneers. They're going to look back at it and say "So what?" - Bill James, Cooperstown and the 'Roids

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  3. #2
    Plays The Right Way Hap's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    It hurts just reading it.

    Let the amateur comedian one-liners begin.
    .

  4. #3
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    From the article:

    "The castration arrest was the first of its kind in Lillington, a town of about 3,000...."

    Whew! I certainly feel better about that now.

    Rem

  5. #4
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    She must have had "Man Hands"
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  6. #5
    So Long Uncle Joe BoydsOfSummer's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Is there really any other kind?
    0 Value Over Replacement Poster


    "Sit over here next to Johnathan (Bench)...sit right here, he's smart."--Sparky Anderson

  7. #6
    Making sense of it all Matt700wlw's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    If he's a singer, he's now hitting notes he never thought he could.

  8. #7
    Matt's Dad RANDY IN INDY's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    My question is, "Was the man wearing pants at the time of the attack?" If so, the gal has serious man hands.
    Talent is God Given: be humble.
    Fame is man given: be thankful.
    Conceit is self given: be careful.

    John Wooden

  9. #8
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Quote Originally Posted by RANDY IN CHAR NC View Post
    My question is, "Was the man wearing pants at the time of the attack?" If so, the gal has serious man hands.

    Perhaps he was lured there for other reasons and he either took his pants off voluntarily or let her do it and then she attacked. She must have some serious fingernails.
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

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  10. #9
    Member TeamCasey's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Maybe they wanted to play ping pong and they could only find the paddles.
    Pots and Kettles

  11. #10
    Man Pills
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    I just hope it wasn't done because all the mountain oysters on the buffet table had been eaten. If so, that's just a terrible hostess--you should ALWAYS plan for a big crowd!

  12. #11
    Member Spring~Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Probably frustrated over the Reds, she couldn't get a hold of Krivsky, so.......

  13. #12
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Quote Originally Posted by SpringfieldFan View Post
    Probably frustrated over the Reds, she couldn't get a hold of Krivsky, so.......
    she grabbed the closest thing that reminded her of him....
    Let's make some noise!

  14. #13
    Raaaaaaaandy guttle11's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    "police Chief Frank Powers"

    Stuff like that simply cannot be made up.
    "I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. That’s the thing about bear attacks. They come when you least expect it."-Dwight K. Schrute

  15. #14
    Member Spring~Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Quote Originally Posted by Sean_CaseyRules View Post
    she grabbed the closest thing that reminded her of him....
    As she yelled, "you came with nothing, so you're leaving with nothing"........

  16. #15
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Woman charged with malicious castration

    Quote Originally Posted by RANDY IN CHAR NC View Post
    My question is, "Was the man wearing pants at the time of the attack?" If so, the gal has serious man hands.
    If the guy had been wearing Dockers it never would have happened.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations


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