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Thread: The "GAC awards"

  1. #1
    2009: Fail Ltlabner's Avatar
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    The "GAC awards"

    Whilest making a sandwich for lunch just moments ago I nearly sliced the end of my finger off. What a mess. From hence forth self inflicted wounds shal be called "pulling a GAC" in honor of our great friend from the north who occasionally causes himself harm.

    Any intresting self inflicted injury stories to share with the group?

    My neatest one was when I was messing around with a power sprayer and gave myself about a 3 inch scar down the length of my wrist/hand because I zapped myself with the high pressure stream. I was supposed to be cleaning a driveway, but instead was writing my name in the multch when said injury occured.
    a super volcano of ridonkulous suckitude.

    I simply don't have access to a "cares about RBI" place in my psyche. There is a "mildly curious about OBI%" alcove just before the acid filled lake guarded by robot snipers with lasers which leads to the "cares about RBI" antechamber though. - Nate

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  3. #2
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I sliced my pinky open on a broken piece of porcelain earlier this week. I bled like a stuck pig.
    Get your nunchucks and the keys to your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun

  4. #3
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I cut my ring finger badly taking down the Christmas tree
    Go Gators!

  5. #4
    Yay!
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I was cutting up some cardboard boxes several years ago and slit my wrist wide open. I was home alone so I had to call the life squad. After the ER doctor bandaged me up, they made sit with a shrink for a half hour before they'd let me go.
    When all is said and done more is said than done.

  6. #5
    Matt's Dad RANDY IN INDY's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    Putting a sharpened lawn mower blade back on the mower and nearly cutting my thumb off. (He hears from the past........................"Gloves, son. You always use gloves." Thanks Dad. I've remembered ever since.)
    Talent is God Given: be humble.
    Fame is man given: be thankful.
    Conceit is self given: be careful.

    John Wooden

  7. #6
    Matt's Dad RANDY IN INDY's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    That doesn't excuse my dad from turning the riding lawn mower over on a steep bank while he was trying to balance up on the high end of the seat. Nearly cut his rear end off.

    Took him to the doctor to get sewn up and I'll never forget what the Doctor told him. He said, "Dale, I've seen people cut off their fingers, their toes, their feet and hands but you're the first fellow that I've ever seen that cut his...................off. Well, you know, that other word for a donkey.

    We couldn't help but laugh. I miss my dad.
    Talent is God Given: be humble.
    Fame is man given: be thankful.
    Conceit is self given: be careful.

    John Wooden

  8. #7
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I was on a first name basis with the ER docs when I was growing up.

    Lets see
    - cut open head by falling into corner of TV, getting hit with a golf club, slipping in the tub, hitting the dishwasher
    - cut open hand by going through glass window, opening a Pringles can
    - cut arm by bouncing off a telephone while scaling a fence
    - knocked out a front tooth by falling with harmonica in my mouth
    - fractured skull and eye swollen shut by getting hit with a rock
    - broken thumb playing ball
    - numerous sprained ankles

    I'm sure Ive missed a few. Other than the rock and golf club they were self inflicted.

    I've slowed down in my old age.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  9. #8
    Matt's Dad RANDY IN INDY's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    Kids used to throw rocks more than they do today. I was always getting hit with rocks, not to mention hitting a few people with them.
    Talent is God Given: be humble.
    Fame is man given: be thankful.
    Conceit is self given: be careful.

    John Wooden

  10. #9
    Bread Gloves Razor Shines's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    My worst injury was during high school. I tore my ACL during basketball season my senior year, and the doctor wanted me to have surgery right away, well nothing doin' I wasn't going to miss baseball season. He finally gave and said if I just had arthroscopic surgery to clean it up, rehabbed hard and wore a brace I might be able to play baseball. So I did and made it through almost the whole season, then one game I was pitching and there was a ground ball back toward the middle so I turned to back hand it and as I planted my left leg (bad knee) it completely gave out and bent in a way previously I had not thought possible, it was the worst pain in my life. So I gave in and went ahead and had the reconstructive surgery. It was a big mistake to wait because I missed out on basketball scholarships, but things turned out ok.

  11. #10
    Harry Chiti Fan registerthis's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I slammed my thumb in a copier drawer yesterday, took about 5 minutes to regain feeling, and much longer to stop the blood loss.

    I guess I GACed myself up pretty good.
    We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

  12. #11
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I was pruning various trees, bushes, etc at the Tucker estate last summer.

    Decided to prune one last limb, grabbed the branch, reached up with my razor-sharp Felco pruners, had a brain cramp, and about cut the tip of my finger off. Blood all over creation.

    The worst part was that it was 6 PM on Sunday, all the urgent care centers were closed, I was going to have to go to the regular ER, and worst of all, I wasn't going to get that beer that I was *really* looking forward to.

    Got to the ER where they appeared to be mobilizing for WWIII or something. I asked the nurse and they said they had 25 inbound units from a roller coaster accident at Kings Island (the Son of Beast thing from last summer). I think they set a record for getting me stitched up. While waiting to check out, I held icebags on people's necks.

    It was a GAC day.

    Pay attention to the open sky

  13. #12
    First Time Caller SunDeck's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I was cutting oak strips on my dad's table saw. Of course, he'd removed the kick guard and one strip bound and shot back into my chest. It knocked me back about five feet into his basement wall and I'm pretty it sure broke a rib. Never knew for sure- I was too embarrassed to get it checked.

    A couple of years ago, I was putting a new circuit for a workshop in our garage. My wife came out and asked me something and I forgot that the circuit I was working on was live. When I cut the romex, sparks shot all over me and burned two 12 gauge sized holes right through my wire cutters. That's about the closest I've come to buying the farm- if I hadn't been on a fiberglass ladder, my socks would have been fried.
    I keep those cutters in my tool box to remind me to check the power before cutting into wires.
    Next Reds manager, second shooter. --Confirmed on Redszone.

  14. #13
    Mon chou Choo vaticanplum's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Tucker View Post
    Decided to prune one last limb, grabbed the branch, reached up with my razor-sharp Felco pruners, had a brain cramp, and about cut the tip of my finger off. Blood all over creation.
    There is no such thing as a pitching prospect.

  15. #14
    Mon chou Choo vaticanplum's Avatar
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    I went through a pretty good stretch over my birthday in 2001. My boyfriend badly broke his wrist, and the next day when he was talking about physical therapy I passed out (I'm quite prone to passing out when it comes to medical stuff). Problem was that I was on the other side of the couch and he couldn't stop me from falling with his one good hand, so I hit my head on the coffee table when I fell and started bleeding. He drove me to the hospital, one-handed, where they deemed me ok and bandaged my head. I drove home, and it was a very hot day, and on the way home the car overheated. We got out to look at it, and he touched the (engine? something) with his one good hand and burned the crap out of it. We had to turn around and go back to the hospital, only we couldn't drive the car so we had to call an ambulance. We were in the ER three times, and the auto body shop once, in under 24 hours.

    My best injury story isn't mine, though. It's not a real GAC story because it's not an accident-prone thing, but it's too good not to tell. When a friend of mine was 10 years old, her older brother got a Jeep (a real one, with a bar for four-wheeling) for his birthday. They lived in Asheville, North Carolina, by a big lake, and he asked if he could take her for a spin, and his parents said sure, but be careful because it only has lap belts right now and we need to get that fixed. They approached a one-lane bridge, and the last thing my friend remembers is a car coming straight at them.

    When they got to the hospital, the doctors were totally confounded by my friend. Her face was dripping blood everywhere, she was clearly bleeding from somewhere above her shoulders, but her face didn't have a scratch or a bruise on it. Then they looked in her mouth. And saw her eye sockets. What had happened was that when the cars it, she pitched forward and her upper lip caught on the handlebar while she kept moving forward, so she essentially got her face ripped off. She was actually very lucky -- an inch shorter or taller and she could have shattered her jaw or suffered serious brain damage. As it was she required surgery but was fine, and had no visible effects at all -- she's a beautiful girl.
    There is no such thing as a pitching prospect.

  16. #15
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    Re: The "GAC awards"

    Riding a bike down a hill, drunk on Dr. Pepper and 151. My foot gets caught in the spokes. When the foot meets the fork, that wheel stops. The bike then catapualts me about 25 feet right on my elbow. I still have pins in it.
    The widow is gathering nettles for her children's dinner; a perfumed seigneur, delicately lounging in the Oeil de Boeuf, hath an alchemy whereby he will extract the third nettle and call it rent. ~ Carlyle


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