Open letter to parents

[Ltlabner]

Ok, I am not the pefect parent, nor are my children perfect. Also, I don't expect anyone else to have perfect children because they are all...well...children.

Dear all parents of children less than 15 years old,

Here are some thoughts that have been on my mind for a while. Enjoy.

Because your children are hyper, unruly and disobediant does not mean they are "bright for their age". It means they are hyper, unruly and disobediant. And you are "slow for a parent". And because you can't controll them doesn't mean they are ADHD.

Your children are not the most precious resource on the planet. Air and water fill that role nicely. Nor are they fragile little beings. Resist the urge to protect them at all costs unless, of course, you plan to fight their battles for them when they are 54 year old.

The word "NO" will not harm your children in any way. In fact, not hearing "no" enough causes more harm. Give it a try a few times.

When you TELL your child to do something stop saying "Trevor please...." or "Hilliary please....". That's called asking. You are the parent, tell them what you want them to do/not do.

Self esteeme is not the holy grail.

Competition is not bad. You better get them used to it now. Their future boss thanks you.

Children will not die if they are not involved in 15 after school activities at once. One at a time will suffice. If you choose to haul Chance and Dakota to every last activity you forefit your right to complain about traffic, the price of gas or how you don't have enough family time.

Try words like grounded, punished, disciplined, taught a lesson and rebuked. Spanking is a good one also but I understand not everybody agrees with it. "Time out" is for football games not grooming children into adults.

If the school teacher punishes your child consider that the teacher may be right and your kid was out of line. Kids in school are generally monsters so chances are good your innocent little Chyanne needed to be disciplined.

Resturants are for eating not for your child to perform. If that were the case TGIF Fridays would have a stage.

Children should play. This involves injury, physical contact and a pretty good chance of something exploding. "Play dates" are chances for stay-at-home moms to hang out. Children do not need 24/7 supervision to perform what used to be called playing.

What happend to names like Mike, Bill, Sam, Mary, Sally, and Meg? Were they outlawed and I missed it?

As you prepare to delete this rant from your memory banks, try to store away this one little nugget. Your sole job as a parent is to prepare your children to be successfull adults. I am tired of having to pay the price because you found it easier to be little Dace's best friend instead of being a parent.

[WMR]

There's a kid named "Dace"?

[deltachi8]

[I]

What happend to names like Mike, Bill, Sam, Mary, Sally, and Meg? Were they outlawed and I missed it?

My 10 year old Sam says hi.

[BoydsOfSummer]

1.) Whip

2.) Their

3.) Asses

[flyer85]

Couple of my favorite sayings to my daughter when she was/is growing up(she's 16 now)

1) She was whiny in the age 3-4 range. I would remind her by asking "Would you like some cheese with that?"
2) When she got older and would get self-absorbed I would admonish her with "It's not all about you".

Kids will misbehave, make mistakes, etc. I think the most important thing a parent can teach in this age of narcissism is to teach their children there's a lot more to life than analyzing how it affects them personally. I have tried to give her a vision being outward focused on others and instead of inward focused on herself. Then again that issue is one that is a constant struggle for adults(including myself), excepting those who don't care that they are completely self-absorbed.

I have never tried to be my daughter's best friend, that is not my role. If they don't appreciate you for it now they likely will later. By my late teens I was certain my parents were the two dumbest and most backward people I had ever met. Somehow by my mid 20s they managed to get a lot smarter.

[Ltlabner]

There's a kid named "Dace"?

Mrs Ltlabner is a teacher and has worked at the local YMCA for 13 years. You'd be completly shocked by some of the odd, goofy and down-right bizzare names some kids are shackled with.

[bucksfan]

... I think the most important thing a parent can teach in this age of narcissism is to teach their children there's a lot more to life than analyzing how it affects them personally. I have tried to give her a vision being outward focused on others and instead of inward focused on herself. Then again that issue is one that is a constant struggle for adults(including myself), excepting those who don't care that they are completely self-absorbed.

That sounds like wonderful advice. I wish very much to impart that kind of thinking on my daughter as she is growing up (she just turned 5).

[Roy Tucker]

One thing I'll add is let your kids struggle a little bit. Sometimes you need to be in over your head a little bit to find out you can go places you didn't think you could go.

Of course, your job as a parent is to not let it go too far. But letting it go a while builds a little character.

And teach them how to speak to adults in a coherent, respectful, and polite fashion. And use Mr. and Mrs. (I think I'm in the minority on this though).

[redsfanfalcon]

Thank you! I am a teacher, and it is amazing at the number of parents that do not support the teacher when their son/daughter does something wrong and they need to be disciplined for it. They never think it is possible their little child could ever do something wrong.

[redsfanmia]

Mrs Ltlabner is a teacher and has worked at the local YMCA for 13 years. You'd be completly shocked by some of the odd, goofy and down-right bizzare names some kids are shackled with.

My favorite is FeMale.

[creek14]

My favorite is FeMale.

When I was in college my next door nursing student neighbors came home one night from the hospital nearly hysterical. Seems a woman had given birth to a baby girl and named her <drum roll> Vagina.

Somewhere in Illinois there is now a 27 year old Vagina walking around.

[redsfan30]

When I was in college my next door nursing student neighbors came home one night from the hospital nearly hysterical. Seems a woman had given birth to a baby girl and named her <drum roll> Vagina.

Somewhere in Illinois there is now a 27 year old Vagina walking around.

Was it pronounced like you'd assume? Or was it pronounced differently?

[WVRed]

And teach them how to speak to adults in a coherent, respectful, and polite fashion. And use Mr. and Mrs. (I think I'm in the minority on this though).

I think I did a thread on this at one point.

What amazes me is going to college now and having professors say "Do not call me Mr. or Professor, my name is 'Joe' ", or whatever.

Because your children are hyper, unruly and disobediant does not mean they are "bright for their age". It means they are hyper, unruly and disobediant. And you are "slow for a parent". And because you can't controll them doesn't mean they are ADHD.

My thoughts on AD(H)D can be well summarized by South Park.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...oid=1616131920

[GAC]

I got two teenagers and an 11 yr old.... Aaron, Rachel, and Samuel. We're trying our best to save the 11 yr old.

We named our kids after beloved relatives. My Dad came from a very large farm family, raised during the depression. Those people didn't know how to name their kids. Names like Alfred, Ned, Maurice, Ethel. I'll stop there because there were 12 of them. He wanted one of his kids to name one of their grandchildren after his Dad (Sylvester), and there was no way I was giving any of my kids that name. My oldest boy's initials are the same as my Dad's "AGC".

My daughter (15) is the middle child and the worst of the lot. I can deal with her, and we have a pretty good relationship. She's very athletic and a tomboy. She is very active in about everything at school, and always has something on her plate. My wife has a hard time understanding her because she comes from a very small introverted family . Mine was very extroverted. I just tell my wife I can relate to Rachel because she is an exact clone of me (except with breasts).

[KittyDuran]

I have never tried to be my daughter's best friend, that is not my role. If they don't appreciate you for it now they likely will later. By my late teens I was certain my parents were the two dumbest and most backward people I had ever met. Somehow by my mid 20s they managed to get a lot smarter.

The older I get the smarter my parents get... I've never have looked as my parents as friends - even getting close to 50. Heck, I didn't even know my parents' real names until I was about 6 years old!

What happend to names like Mike, Bill, Sam, Mary, Sally, and Meg? Were they outlawed and I missed it?

or Cathy? (no not Katlin). Tho' I have seen more Catherines around. When I was growing up if a kid had the names that you hear now - they would have been laughed at. The girls names - I call them old-fashioned names - Emma, Abigal, Grace, etc. are prevalent now. So it all goes in cycles. When my oldest sister was born (1949) the "ettes" were popular with girls - her name is Claudette, but you had Paulette, Georgette, Annette, Jeanette, etc. Also many names were shorten or changed including my name, Catherine (Cathy, Kate, Kitty), William (Bill or Will), Charles (Chuck), Margaret (Peg), Sandra (Sandy), etc. Anyhoo, I was named after my Mom, Great Aunt and Great-Grandmother - Catherine was their middle names (Helen Catherine, China Catherine and Selena Catherine).

And what about naming kids after states? Florida, Georgia, Virgina (of course, now they're called Dakota, Montana and Nevada). Months? April, May, June. How about towns? I have two nephews named Dallas and Mason. John Taylor (of DD) named his daughter, Atlanta. How about flowers? Rose, Daisy, Violet (think of the British sitcom, "Keeping Up Appearances").

Then they're names that come out of the blue.. like Bige. There are three in my Dad's family so to differentiate (when they were all alive) they were called Big Bige, Little Bige and Bad Bige.