I don't want people to think I just sit around monitoring other people's and look for opportunities to glare at kids that don't measure up to the stadards I set for my own. Like the woman in M2's story.
We've all seen the parents who's kids are having a bad night, but it's obvious the parent generally put a lot of effort into being parents and trying to raise their kids as they see fit. Those kids generally don't bother me one bit. In fact, I often feal sympathetic for the parents because like others have said it's not fun for anybody.
It's usually pretty easy to spot the parents who put a lot of effort into parenting and those who try to take the easy road and would rather ignore their heathen children.
I see a lot of people putting their kids in every activity that they can. Traditional sports, karate, dancing, scouts, church activities, and the list goes on. Running all over the place all the time, and not really spending any quality time with their kids. A lot of missed opportunities to be a parent, sharpen the skills, and really raise their children. You have to spend the time. You can't expect everyone else to raise your kids.
"The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
They notice.
I believe that you have to spend time with your children and make sure they know how very much you love them. I believe you must have realistic expectations for them. I can see in my own son, how very much he wants to please me in all that he does. He never wants to let me or his mother down by his behavior. It isn't a fear of punishment that motivates him, as I have never spanked him. We talk a lot, and always have. The worst thing that he can hear is that I am dissapointed in something he has done. I think he knows just how much I believe in him. I always have asked that he be a "gentleman." That has been a very important word with us from the time he was very small.
More important than that is the responsibility that I have, as a parent, to be the best role model that I can be for him. It is a huge responsibility and one that I take very seriously. Anything less would be to let him down, and I never want him to not believe in his Daddy. I am far from perfect, but nothing has changed my life, and the way I conduct myself, more, than knowing that Matt's eyes are watching everything that I do, and his ears are hearing everything that I say.
"No written word
nor spoken plea
Can teach our youth
what they should be.
Not all the books
on all the shelves.
It's what the teachers
are themselves.
I love being a parent. It took my wife and I 7 years to have our first child. We thought we weren't going to be able to have any, and then all of a sudden BAM!... we had 3.
But over the last 17 years the good Lord has used my children and various situations to not only teach them but to teach me as well.
"In my day you had musicians who experimented with drugs. Now it's druggies experimenting with music" - Alfred G Clark (circa 1972)
There certainly is an excess of scheduled activities, isn't there?
IMO, a big part of it is parents who barely have any free time. Somebody really should have thought through how much sense it makes to need two wage earners in a family in order to make ends meet. I swear it's going to bring back polygamy just because it'll be the only sensible way to organize a household.
vaticanplum, the future of home cooking definitely rests on the shoulders of the male of the species. I maintain that you can't expect women who barely eat to prepare a big meal on a regular basis. My great grandmother, who was about as wide as she was tall, now there was a woman who could cook. My wife, who curves in at the waist and then again below the hips, she regards the kitchen like it's an alien landscape.
I'm not a system player. I am a system.
Sure is.There certainly is an excess of scheduled activities, isn't there?
And a lot of parents doing what "they" want to do.
Wear gaudy colors, or avoid display. Lay a million eggs or give birth to one. The fittest shall survive, yet the unfit may live. Be like your ancestors or be different. We must repeat!
Amen.
In the last 3 years, I've come to appreciate what it means to be a single parent through friends & acquaintances. It's not uncommon for my wife to make an overnight business trip every couple of weeks. One person taking care of him/herself, a job, a home, AND a kid? Day after day, week after week?
I've decided that when it's time to move to the next realm, single parents get priority seating. Kind of like handicap folks get priority parking spaces.
For our 6-year-old daughter, my wife and I are in agreement: "Girl Scouts" twice a month (I put it in quotes because, at this age, the meetings are indistinguishable from playdates) and one sport at a time. Far be it for us to push her into activities, we're the ones that have to rein her in. If it were up to her she'd be doing gymnastics, T-ball and soccer all at once.There certainly is an excess of scheduled activities, isn't there?
Reading comprehension is not just an ability, it's a choice
My wife and I have 2 children, 8 and 2 (almost 3). We spank them. They know we will spank them, which means we rarely have too. We have never had a "temper-tantrum" in public...if they are acting up we say, " your about to get it." Bad behavior stops. Some parents spank, some don't. It has been my experience in treating children that most bad behaving children are not spanked. Not always but it does trend that way. I also know some very well behaved children that have never been spanked. To say all spanking is wrong is well....wrong. To say not spanking your children is wrong is just as wrong.
I wish parents would not negotiate with their children. It drives me crazy. For a 7 year old not to allow a hygienist to clean their teeth is unacceptable behavior. My mother would have picked me up and said, "your about to get it".....that would of been enough. She would not have said, " Please open your mouth... please....just this once." Not at my office...it's off to the pediatric dentist!
Last edited by George Foster; 01-12-2007 at 09:47 PM.
1st pick of the 2023 baseball amateur draft
Board Moderators may, at their discretion and judgment, delete and/or edit any messages that violate any of the following guidelines: 1. Explicit references to alleged illegal or unlawful acts. 2. Graphic sexual descriptions. 3. Racial or ethnic slurs. 4. Use of edgy language (including masked profanity). 5. Direct personal attacks, flames, fights, trolling, baiting, name-calling, general nuisance, excessive player criticism or anything along those lines. 6. Posting spam. 7. Each person may have only one user account. It is fine to be critical here - that's what this board is for. But let's not beat a subject or a player to death, please. |