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Thread: Juan Castro, saboteur

  1. #1
    Posting in Dynarama M2's Avatar
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    Juan Castro, saboteur

    I've long believed Juan Castro is a menace to society, but I now have irrefutable evidence of it. We all know that Castro's emergence as a major leaguer coincided with a run a bad luck for the Dodgers. We also know what happened to the Reds franchise after he showed up the first time. Yet let's look at his stop with the Twins and his recent return to the Reds.

    The Twins have made the playoffs in four out of the last five seasons. The lone exception is 2005, the year Juan Castro finished the season with the team. Here's what the team did in 2002-2006 without Castro:

    339-244, .581 winning %

    And with Castro?

    113-113, .500 winning %

    But wait, there's more. The Reds last season without Castro:

    37-29, .561 winning %

    And with him:

    43-53, .448 winning %

    Juan Castro apparently has the ability to take a 90-win team and make it an also-ran. I'm sure there will be those who claim mitigating factors, but THERE ARE NO MITIGATING FACTORS. Juan Castro is a saboteur ... or an evil talisman ... or a succubus. Point is he's really bad and he exists solely for the purpose of destroying whatever baseball team it is that dares to bring him into its midst.
    Last edited by M2; 02-16-2007 at 07:27 PM.
    Baseball isn't a magic trick ... it doesn't get spoiled if you figure out how it works. - gonelong

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  3. #2
    Member JaxRed's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    We had a chance to take him out at the Bay of Pigs.
    The lowest acceptable payroll amount for ownership to show they are not greedy pigs is 15 million more than they are currently paying. No matter what that currently is.

  4. #3
    Your killin' me Smalls! StillFunkyB's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Trade him to St. Louis.

    I was gonna say Chicago, but that team is doomed anyway.
    "And the fact that watching him pitch is like having someone poop on your soul." FCB on Gary Majewski

  5. #4
    Miami Redhawks Redhook's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Pretty funny and definitely interesting.

    By the way, good use of the word succubus. Succubus. It's fun to say.
    "....the two players I liked watching the most were Barry Larkin and Eric Davis. I was suitably entertained by their effortless skill that I didn't need them crashing into walls like a squirrel on a coke binge." - dsmith421

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  6. #5
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Or, to put it another way (in case some of Juan's family or George Grande is reading):

    Manos del Oro no tienne buena suerte.
    Championships Matter.
    23 Years and Counting...

  7. #6
    Stat Wanker Hodiernus RedsManRick's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Henceforth Juan Castro will be known as Succubus.
    Games are won on run differential -- scoring more than your opponent. Runs are runs, scored or prevented they all count the same. Worry about scoring more and allowing fewer, not which positions contribute to which side of the equation or how "consistent" you are at your current level of performance.

  8. #7
    Member Highlifeman21's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Quote Originally Posted by RedsManRick View Post
    Henceforth Juan Castro will be known as Succubus.
    Make it so.

  9. #8
    Member Marc D's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Quote Originally Posted by RedsManRick View Post
    Henceforth Juan Castro will be known as Succubus.

    Man law.

  10. #9
    Member Wheelhouse's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    If you're going to do that with Castro, look how Griffey has effected the Reds. Not that I buy into this logic at all...
    "Don't trust any statistics you did not fake yourself."--Winston Churchill

  11. #10
    Knowledge Is Good Big Klu's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Quote Originally Posted by Redhook View Post
    Pretty funny and definitely interesting.

    By the way, good use of the word succubus. Succubus. It's fun to say.
    But isn't a succubus female? I think the male version is an incubus.
    Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman. Damn glad to meet ya.

  12. #11
    Miami Redhawks Redhook's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Klu View Post
    But isn't a succubus female? I think the male version is an incubus.
    You are correct sir! Since I had no clue what a succubus was, let alone if it is male or female I looked it up. Pleasant thoughts:

    In Western medieval legend, a succubus (plural succubi) is a demon who takes the form of a female to seduce men (especially monks) in dreams to have sexual intercourse. They draw energy from the men to sustain themselves, often until the point of exhaustion or death of the victim.

    According to the Malleus Maleficarum, or "Witches' Hammer", succubi would collect semen from the men they slept with, which incubi would then use to impregnate women. Children so begotten were supposed to be more susceptible to the influence of demons.

    In some beliefs the succubi would morph into the Incubus with its newly collected semen ready to impregnate their victims. This was to account for the fact that demons could not reproduce naturally, however the incubus could impregnate women.
    Also of note:

    From the 16th century, the carving of a succubus on the outside of an inn indicated that the establishment also operated as a brothel.
    Interesting stuff.

    I just looked up incubus too since I just had to know:

    In Western medieval legend, an incubus (plural incubi) is a demon in male form supposed to lie upon sleepers, especially women, in order to have sexual intercourse with them. They are also believed to do this in order to spawn other incubi. The incubus drains energy from the woman it performs sexual intercourse upon in order to sustain itself. In most cases it either kills the victim or leaves the victim in very weak or fragile condition.[citation needed] A female version was called a succubus.
    I still like the word succubus better, but according to their meaning it would be more appropriate to call Juan Incubus. Nah, let's stick with Succubus.
    "....the two players I liked watching the most were Barry Larkin and Eric Davis. I was suitably entertained by their effortless skill that I didn't need them crashing into walls like a squirrel on a coke binge." - dsmith421

    www.kylevoska.com - Golfer? Check out my blog for golf tips.

  13. #12
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Quote Originally Posted by M2 View Post
    Juan Castro is a saboteur ... or an evil talisman ... or a succubus.


    light the for
    looking on keep Let's
    sunshine the find to chance a have We
    night the to on hold can we If
    after morning a be to got There's
    Warm and safe that's...
    Last edited by Chip R; 02-16-2007 at 11:33 PM.
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  14. #13
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Juan Castro, Agent Provocateur?
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

  15. #14
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Quote Originally Posted by Wheelhouse View Post
    If you're going to do that with Castro, look how Griffey has effected the Reds. Not that I buy into this logic at all...
    Griffey is a poltergeist.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  16. #15
    Your killin' me Smalls! StillFunkyB's Avatar
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    Re: Juan Castro, saboteur

    Maybe the Reds organization is the Succubi, sucking all the life out of everything and leaving it in a very weak or fragile condition
    "And the fact that watching him pitch is like having someone poop on your soul." FCB on Gary Majewski


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