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Thread: Spouse Annoying Habits

  1. #46
    Puffy's Daddy Red Leader's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by vaticanplum View Post
    I need my gemstones, beyotch.
    'When I'm not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.'
    -Snoop on his retirement

    Your Mom is happy.

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  3. #47
    Harry Chiti Fan registerthis's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Tucker View Post
    Actually, what annoys me is when my wife forgets to put on her June Cleaver-esque pearls when fetching me my pre-dinner drink.

    The fact that she is trying to keep the 12 children quiet so I can relax after a hard days work is immaterial.

    Plus sometimes she forgets my slippers along with that drink.
    We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

  4. #48
    Member 15fan's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Mrs. fan isn't particularly adept at putting lids on things. The trash can, the milk jug, the tube of toothpaste, the liquid laundry detergent - it doesn't matter. Lids are never fastened firmly.

    She also does some semi-regular work travel that requires a night away. When she calls that night, or comes home the next day, she always manages to ask if I did the 1 chore that I didn't get done.

    So when she asks the inevitable question "did you (insert household chore here)?" I've started responding:

    "I fed the kid dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, bathed the kid, cleaned up the bathroom, got the kid to bed, unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash, ran a couple loads of laundry, paid the bills, and ran the vacuum both upstairs and downstairs."

    "So you didn't dust?"

    I even go out of my way to make sure that it's not the same chore every time. One time I won't dust. The next time I won't vacuum. The time after that, I won't unload the dishwasher.

    And every freaking time she asks about the 1 thing I didn't do.

  5. #49
    Puffy's Daddy Red Leader's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by 15fan View Post
    Mrs. fan isn't particularly adept at putting lids on things. The trash can, the milk jug, the tube of toothpaste, the liquid laundry detergent - it doesn't matter. Lids are never fastened firmly.

    She also does some semi-regular work travel that requires a night away. When she calls that night, or comes home the next day, she always manages to ask if I did the 1 chore that I didn't get done.

    So when she asks the inevitable question "did you (insert household chore here)?" I've started responding:

    "I fed the kid dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, bathed the kid, cleaned up the bathroom, got the kid to bed, unloaded the dishwasher, took out the trash, ran a couple loads of laundry, paid the bills, and ran the vacuum both upstairs and downstairs."

    "So you didn't dust?"

    I even go out of my way to make sure that it's not the same chore every time. One time I won't dust. The next time I won't vacuum. The time after that, I won't unload the dishwasher.

    And every freaking time she asks about the 1 thing I didn't do.



    I'd be checking for the "nanny cam" if I were you.

    Are any of these in your house?

    http://images.google.com/images?hl=e...=2&safe=active
    'When I'm not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.'
    -Snoop on his retirement

    Your Mom is happy.

  6. #50
    Harry Chiti Fan registerthis's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by 15fan View Post
    And every freaking time she asks about the 1 thing I didn't do.
    Try doing only one thing next time, maybe she'll ask you that one and you can say "yes".
    We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

  7. #51
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by vaticanplum View Post
    Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

    He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

    And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.

    And here's a picture of VP

    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  8. #52
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by vaticanplum View Post
    Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

    He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

    And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.
    Not to mention spending all weekend hunting turtles with his buddies....

    Get your nunchucks and the keys to your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun

  9. #53
    Hey Cubs Fans RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by vaticanplum View Post
    Mr. vp never brings home the proper kind of game requested. I want quail, he brings home turkey. I want pig, he brings home elk. Excuse me, have you ever heard of elk bacon for breakfast? Noooo, you haven't.

    He doesn't give the chilluns the proper amount of belt lashings when they misbehave.

    And, of course, he doesn't make enough money. Ever. Best-paying 16-hour-a-day factory job in the county, my butt. I need my gemstones, beyotch.

    You better recognize, woman. A man like this doesn't come around every day!!!

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    ~ Mark Twain

  10. #54
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by RFS62 View Post
    "Is that you Uncle Red?"
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  11. #55
    Puffy's Daddy Red Leader's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    I hate when I get home and my laundry isn't folded correctly, dinner is running late and my wife isn't wearing the apron I bought her for Christmas. I mean, I've had a long hard day at work (posting on RZ and such), the least she could do is meet these three simple requests I ask her to do every day. I showed her once how to correctly fold laundry. I come home at the same time every day and that apron wasn't cheap, and it's got my picture on it. I mean, why wouldn't you wear it?
    'When I'm not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.'
    -Snoop on his retirement

    Your Mom is happy.

  12. #56
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    She snores. I suppose I do but I never hear it.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  13. #57
    Hot Stove Season HotCorner's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Great stuff thus far!

    Here's a couple from my lovely wife that drive me crazy.

    1) Whenever she notices a tasks needs to be completed, she will state it as "we need to feed the cat" but I know that she really means "you need to feed the cat".

    2) Volunteers us/me without first discussing it. For example watching one of her friends' kids on a worknight. (I feel like I've been thrown under the bus!)

    I know she had several on me.

    One of the many positives is she's become a sports fan for the most part although she still hates basketball - although I do get her to watch March Madness with me. Is that love or what?

  14. #58
    Hot Stove Season HotCorner's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by flyer85 View Post
    She snores. I suppose I do but I never hear it.
    So does my wife. Here's the routine exchange:

    Wife: [snoring]
    Me: [nudges wife]
    Wife: [looks at me with quizical face]
    Me: You were snoring.
    Wife: No I wasn't.
    Me: I can't even hear the TV.
    Wife: I don't snore.
    Me: I'll setup the camcorder if you want proof.

    [I also snore but at least don't deny it. ]

  15. #59
    This one's for you Edd Heath's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by HotCorner View Post
    One of the many positives is she's become a sports fan for the most part although she still hates basketball - although I do get her to watch March Madness with me. Is that love or what?
    My wife likes basketball - college especially - since it's only two hours per game roughly. Anyway, we as family do brackets and when she turned hers into me she gave me poem announcing baby #3 was on the way.
    Some people play baseball. Baseball plays Jay Bruce.

  16. #60
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: Spouse Annoying Habits

    Quote Originally Posted by HotCorner View Post
    So does my wife. Here's the routine exchange:

    Wife: [snoring]
    Me: [nudges wife]
    Wife: [looks at me with quizical face]
    Me: You were snoring.
    Wife: No I wasn't.
    Me: I can't even hear the TV.
    Wife: I don't snore.
    Me: I'll setup the camcorder if you want proof.

    [I also snore but at least don't deny it. ]
    that pretty much covers it.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand


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