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Thread: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

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  1. #1
    You're being very UnDude. sonny's Avatar
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    Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Sorry if this has been posted before but I came across this today on the Onion sports site

    CINCINNATI—Although Ken Griffey Jr. had nearly recovered from a broken hand sustained while playing with his children in December, his rehabilitation came to a sudden halt yesterday when a gentle 2 mph breeze wafted across his leg, shattering his femur in three places. "I knew it was broken right when that breeze hit me," said Griffey, who was walking from his sports therapist's office to his car in order to drive to his daughter's piano recital at the time of the injury. "These things just happen. If I would have known a breeze like that was coming, I never would have left the house." Reds manager Jerry Narron has stated that, upon Griffey's return to the Reds, he will be fitted with a personalized protective bubble to be worn for the remainder of the season.
    Witty signature.

  2. #2
    Manliness Personified HumnHilghtFreel's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    The Onion took a potshot at Griffey last season that was in poor taste didn't they?

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    Pagan/Asatru Ravenlord's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by HumnHilghtFreel View Post
    The Onion took a potshot at Griffey last season that was in poor taste didn't they?
    yep. had something to do with him developing cancer while both his parents were in treatment for it.
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    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Yeah, they've done it before. Yawn...been there, done that.

    CINCINNATI—Just days after the Reds centerfielder learned that his father Ken Sr. has prostate cancer and his mother Birdie would be undergoing surgery for colon cancer, a routine medical checkup Tuesday resulted in more bad news for Ken Griffey Jr., as doctors found a large malignant tumor on his right semitendinosus hamstring muscle. "This is the rarest and deadliest form of hamstring cancer," Reds trainer Mark Mann said. "The only way to eradicate the cancer is to go in and slice the three hamstring muscles completely in half and permanently remove them—as well as the three titanium screws holding them in place—from his leg." Next Wednesday, Griffey Jr. and Griffey Sr. are expected to become the first father-son duo to undergo chemotherapy together.

  5. #5
    Plays The Right Way Hap's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Regardless of the lack of taste, in my opinion, it is a very weak attempt at humor.
    .

  6. #6
    For a Level Playing Field RedFanAlways1966's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Hap View Post
    Regardless of the lack of taste, in my opinion, it is a very weak attempt at humor.
    Seems to be a lot of that in regard to Ken Griffey Jr. lately. Do these humorists have day jobs?!?
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  7. #7
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Hap View Post
    Regardless of the lack of taste, in my opinion, it is a very weak attempt at humor.

    I thought it was pretty funny

  8. #8
    Redsmetz redsmetz's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    CINCINNATI—Although Ken Griffey Jr. had nearly recovered from a broken hand sustained while playing with his children in December, his rehabilitation came to a sudden halt yesterday when a gentle 2 mph breeze wafted across his leg, shattering his femur in three places. "I knew it was broken right when that breeze hit me," said Griffey, who was walking from his sports therapist's office to his car in order to drive to his daughter's piano recital at the time of the injury. "These things just happen. If I would have known a breeze like that was coming, I never would have left the house." Reds manager Jerry Narron has stated that, upon Griffey's return to the Reds, he will be fitted with a personalized protective bubble to be worn for the remainder of the season.
    I agree the cancer faux story was in very poor taste (and wasn't very funny), this one strikes me as fairly humorous, particularly the highlighted bit at the end. And I suspect the writers do have day jobs - it's writing.

    I even found a picture of it!


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    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by redsmetz View Post
    I agree the cancer faux story was in very poor taste (and wasn't very funny), this one strikes me as fairly humorous, particularly the highlighted bit at the end. And I suspect the writers do have day jobs - it's writing.

    I even found a picture of it!

    http://www.spitter.com/spitter_griffey_bubble.htm

    Actually, I wrote this article a few years ago. Did the photoshop of him in the bubble, too.

    Looks like I'll be sending the Onion an email.
    Last edited by Johnny Footstool; 03-21-2007 at 12:23 PM.
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  10. #10
    Recovering Cubs Fan
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Footstool View Post
    http://www.spitter.com/spitter_griffey_bubble.htm

    Actually, I wrote this article a few years ago. Did the photoshop of him in the bubble, too.

    Looks like I'll be sending the Onion an email.
    Good stuff. That line about Kremchek drilling holes in the players' heads to release evil spirits was hilarious.

  11. #11
    Vavasor TRF's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Footstool View Post
    http://www.spitter.com/spitter_griffey_bubble.htm

    Actually, I wrote this article a few years ago. Did the photoshop of him in the bubble, too.

    Looks like I'll be sending the Onion an email.
    ouch.

    BTW, when can we expect some new spitter material? I need's me an Ask Oscar fix.
    Suck it up cupcake.

  12. #12
    Churlish Johnny Footstool's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by TRF View Post
    ouch.

    BTW, when can we expect some new spitter material? I need's me an Ask Oscar fix.
    Very doubtful we'll see any new Spitter stuff in the near future. The Onion Sports desk does it faster and an a higher volume than my once-a-month-maybe pace.
    "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

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    Redsmetz redsmetz's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Footstool View Post
    http://www.spitter.com/spitter_griffey_bubble.htm

    Actually, I wrote this article a few years ago. Did the photoshop of him in the bubble, too.

    Looks like I'll be sending the Onion an email.
    I saw the image on that and wondered if that was your's. Nice work.

  14. #14
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    Yeah the one about the cancer was in poor taste, but this one is actually funny. I'm a huge Griffey fan, but even I can see the humor in this one.

  15. #15
    Member Wheelhouse's Avatar
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    Re: Griffey breaks leg--per the Onion

    I better there's some bitter Mariners fan at the Onion...
    "Don't trust any statistics you did not fake yourself."--Winston Churchill


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