Getting yelled at by a coworker

[SunDeck]

I was in a meeting today and we were discussing the hiring process. The discussion got a little heated and I made a comment that really must of set one of the people off.

She yelled at me. I mean, really yelled, like she was losing control or something. Normally, we don't have that kind of behavior where I work; it's pretty civil. Moreover, I grew up getting yelled at so it didn't really bother me. However, all the other people in the meeting were really shocked by it and I'm sure they are thinking that I felt insulted and offended, but the truth is it doesn't bother me at all. After all, it wasn't me doing the yelling; it was this other person who is kind of always ready to split apart into a million pieces anyway.

So, it got me to thinking what the workplace environment is for others. Ever had anybody lose it in a meeting you were attending?

[dabvu2498]

In my first real adult job, my boss left me a voice-mail where he yelled at me. Screamed would be a more accurate description.

If the screw-up had actually been my fault, he would have been justified in getting upset. It was a bad screw-up. Fortunately for me, it wasn't my fault. Some paperwork had been mishandled farther down the chain.

I get the vm the next morning, reviewed what I'd done, and realized I was not at fault. Got him on the phone, explained it to him and it was all good.

The thing that always bugged me about that is that he could have called me at home. He could have dealt with me in the moment, face to face, instead of leaving me a voicemail. I always felt the way he handled it was kinda chicken"crap."

I'll never forget what he said and how he sounded on that vm. If it had been my fault, I would have been packing up my desk that morning.

[gonelong]

We get in heated discussion internally all the time. When people have a passion for their job, I expect that and accept it. I have had people raise their voices at me, but I have never had anyone "yell" or "scream" at me. I'd not hesitate to tell them to get bent.

GL

[oneupper]

So, it got me to thinking what the workplace environment is for others. Ever had anybody lose it in a meeting you were attending?

I've seen people lose it in a meeting, but not at SOMEBODY in particular. As you probably saw, doing so reflects badly on the YELLER.

I've heard some private yelling through doors (closed but not soundproof).

I've never myself yelled at an employee, but I've been really close with Customer Service reps...

I've also never yelled at my kids (much) or my wife (yes, dear). The REDS...however, are frequent recipients of my anguished YELLING (sorry, guys).

[Johnny Footstool]

I can understand how some jobs and some circumstances could push someone to lose their temper, but it's totally inappropriate in an office environment. I expect people to use self control and treat other with respect.

[Falls City Beer]

I've never been yelled at. I never yell (except at payroll people and other bureaucrats that have "misplaced" my forms).

I scowl a lot. Defense mechanism. In truth, I'm often laughing my ass off inside. Being 6'6" keeps a LOT of attitude at bay though, thankfully.

[15fan]

The boss in my first job out of college had the shortest fuse of any human to ever walk the planet. He'd walk up & down the hallway & just lay into folks for no reason. I was in that job for less than 6 months.

I've generally been in a pretty good work environment for the past decade or so. Never been yelled at, nor have I ever felt the need to yell at anyone. If I yell, it's time for me to get a pink slip. In the grand scheme of things, it's just not that important.

There's an epic institutional story about yelling in a meeting several years ago. Friendly discussion turned downright nasty (as well as unnecessarily personal), and someone ended up going off on someone else. When the yeller paused for a breath in mid-tirade, the person running the meeting quickly interjected "if there's no further business, meeting adjourned." Then he got up, gathered his belongings, and motioned for the yeller to join him in his office behind closed doors.

[919191]

I work in an industrial production setting.We have had supervisors actually shove people around and one of them recently allegedly threatened an employee with a homosexual act (it started with an f) if he didn't increase production. We had over 200 union brothers and sisters demonstrating on front of the plant and were on the news over this.

Proud to be union.

[Larry Schuler]

Back in the good old day I was working at a preppy clothing store as a stock room manager and I had just submitted my 2 weeks notice; I was basically working as a favor to the store manager as it was Christmas and things were pretty crazy. Anyway, I'm in the stock room unpacking the new shipment of holiday sweaters, chatting with a friend of mine. Long story short, the assistant manager (a pretty hot but stuck up number) hears us having a good time so she 1) hides behind the rows of stocked clothing, 2) sneaks up behind us, 3) rudely, maniacly, and loudly imitates our laughter, then 4) she yells at us to shut up and get to work. I let her finish her antics and walk away then I promptly clocked out and went home. I didn't really have the incentive to fold clothes at minimum wage for a beast.

She called me several times at home afterwards and told me what a huge mistake I had made and that I was fired. That actually got me a little scared as I didn't want it to be on my record, but I eventually talked to the actual store manager and he didn't even care. He told me he understood and marked my departure as "personal reasons" in the company computer database.

[TeamCasey]

I've seen it, but it's rare.

I remember long ago, there was a guy who was totally going off in the lab next to mine. I stepped in and asked the person getting yelled at if they'd like me to call security. She said no. I made her come into my lab because the situation was unacceptable and out of control. I heard some clunks ..... not sure if he was throwing things or slamming his fist into the bench.

I had one shouting match in a hallway once. It was with a guy who regularly went into tirades with people. He'd make people cry daily. (Years later I heard that there was some inter-office toxic affairs going on....lol). Anyway, I was his target one day and I wasn't having it. Books slammed down and we went nose to nose and it was the first and last time he went for me. He was later let go for similar reasons. Freaking nutjob.

[justincredible]

Being 6'6" keeps a LOT of attitude at bay though, thankfully.

I'm 6'4", 230lbs. Very, very few people have ever given me attitude. It's a good thing for me, too, 'cause I'm a big baby.

I've yet to be yelled at at work. I seldom screw up and try my best not to give people a reason to yell at me. Of course, all through college I worked manual labor jobs and now I am a web developer so I haven't really been working jobs that would require one to yell at me unless they were out of their mind to begin with.

[RedsMan3203]

I yelled at a customer this weekend while at work..... It was a "MY BAD" but he had it coming....

Let me tell you - you customers need some employee service time...

[vaticanplum]

So, it got me to thinking what the workplace environment is for others. Ever had anybody lose it in a meeting you were attending?

I've seen a lot more anger of the red-faced and storming-out variety. I've been around a good bit of yelling too -- I've worked with some very volatile people -- and I've had people get upset with me, but I don't think I've ever been yelled at in any work situation. Apart from my mother, whose natural volume of speaking is Yell, people really never, ever yell at me. Not sure why, but I'm so unused to it that I on the rare occasions when it does happen I react very badly. So my instinct is that it's not appropriate for the workplace, particularly for a meeting, but maybe the tone of the meeting was different than I imagine. Weird, though; I can't imagine that's too tolerated in many official workplaces these days.

[SandyD]

I was in a meeting today and we were discussing the hiring process. The discussion got a little heated and I made a comment that really must of set one of the people off.

She yelled at me. I mean, really yelled, like she was losing control or something. Normally, we don't have that kind of behavior where I work; it's pretty civil. Moreover, I grew up getting yelled at so it didn't really bother me. However, all the other people in the meeting were really shocked by it and I'm sure they are thinking that I felt insulted and offended, but the truth is it doesn't bother me at all. After all, it wasn't me doing the yelling; it was this other person who is kind of always ready to split apart into a million pieces anyway.

So, it got me to thinking what the workplace environment is for others. Ever had anybody lose it in a meeting you were attending?

I got my present job from an employment agency whose rep asked me how I reacted when people yelled at me. I said I can handle people on the phone yelling at me, and deal with upset customers, and calm them down.

She meant other employees. Before our company lost a few key members after Katrina, yelling at each other was an almost daily occurence. (I didn't yell ... much. Mostly just held my ground, stated my case, then dropped it.)

BUT, in my new position, I KNOW my boss is going to yell at me sooner or later. And I'm going to laugh. Wrong reaction, but I just can't help it. He's yelled at everyone else at my new position and higher. So, when he yells at me, I'll try not to but I won't be able to avoid laughing.

I have my response planned, tho. I knew this day would come, and now I feel like I belong. Then I'll just say I'm sorry, I know you're right, won't do it again.

Now, my Boss gets all red faced and yells at us about personal calls, internet use, etc in our annual company-wide handbook meeting usually. But he's mellowed some since Katrina.

[WVRed]

I've seen a lot more anger of the red-faced and storming-out variety. I've been around a good bit of yelling too -- I've worked with some very volatile people -- and I've had people get upset with me, but I don't think I've ever been yelled at in any work situation. Apart from my mother, whose natural volume of speaking is Yell, people really never, ever yell at me. Not sure why, but I'm so unused to it that I on the rare occasions when it does happen I react very badly. So my instinct is that it's not appropriate for the workplace, particularly for a meeting, but maybe the tone of the meeting was different than I imagine. Weird, though; I can't imagine that's too tolerated in many official workplaces these days.

I've never yelled at anybody, although I have come close. I once had somebody yell at me, and I said something that I shouldn't have.

The biggest problem I have where I work is that some people have been there since God was a boy, and because of that have the attitude that they can get away with anything or because they have "dirt" on the upper management. One woman in particular has yelled at me before and has cussed out another person there, but I often wonder if somebody talked to her the way she talks to people there if she would be filing a complaint and crying foul.