Here are some of my faves (sorry, shovel not included):
1) "Well, it's the great thing about baseball: there's always tomorrow. Especially when you suckers continue to watch the team."
2) "No excuses, I take full responsibility for the loss. Except, of course, if that means I'm released or sent down."
3) "Hey we're hurting more than anyone. We've got pride. And there's no way we'll take infield practice."
4) "I just made a mistake. Not reading the scouting reports."
5) "We're just on a bad stretch right now. It'll turn around. By the way, I have a real estate opportunity I'd like to talk to you about..."
6) "All 25 guys in this room have to stick together through this. We have to stick together because that's what flailing, leaderless groups do."
7) "We've gotta start doing the little things. Like using toilet paper."
8) "Sometimes nothing goes right, and you have to deal with it. That's life. Except when it comes to my contract."
9) "He just messed up. He knows how to play the game the right way: Hop, hop, split, pick up the pebble, turn around, hop, hop, scotch."