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Thread: Internet Pet Peeves :P

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  1. #1
    Porkchop Sandwiches DoogMinAmo's Avatar
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    Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Not to take a "holier than thou" approach, but this really rubs me the wrong way:

    1. Ridiculous, not Rediculous

    Yours?
    "I'm a Cucumber, I'm a cucumber. I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber. I'm a cucumber, I'm a cucumber. Please don't send me to the pickle farm, bum." - Brak

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  2. #2
    Yay!
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    People pointing out my spelling errors.
    When all is said and done more is said than done.

  3. #3
    RZ Chamber of Commerce Unassisted's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    The list in this thread captures many of mine.
    /r/reds

  4. #4
    RZ Chamber of Commerce Unassisted's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Unassisted View Post
    The list in this thread captures many of mine.
    After re-reading the list I linked before, I've decided to quote it in full, since I like it even more now than when I first posted it.

    Best. [ultimate thing or experience.] Ever/Evar.
    Likely originating in the reverse ("worst [x] ever"), this cliché still has a deathgrip on the media, in all its sincere and sarcastic permutations. It's usually taken to mean a state of permanent, perpetual bestness, which is of course unsustainable. Sooner or later, something will not be the best [x] ever, and this phrase is a perfect example.

    [undesirable counter-example], not so much.
    The punchline that ends a thousand million columns and blog posts. Weak as the lightest of lite beers, or the puny farts you get from such beer.

    FTW, O RLY, lol, FTL, OMG, FWIW, btw, PWND, ROTFL, etc.
    These are borderline acceptable if you're instant messaging, speed-typing while online gaming, or expressing approval of a pornographic image posted to your favorite kink forum. Beyond that, stop it. Even if your audience uses these expressions in daily life, such practice should not be encouraged. Self-consciously peppering normal discourse with geekspeak acronyms (especially when used in conjunction with non-geek subjects) no longer rescues your words by way of anti-coolness. See also: "teh" anything.

    [negative experience, situation, or description]; I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
    In a rare sane move, most writers realize this one is dead, and thus avoid it. However, only when "threw up in my mouth" is completely exterminated from the world consciousness may we all rest in peace.

    [purposefully non-ghetto statement], yo.
    Often used in conjunction other ghetto nonfabulous phrases like "Oh snap!" and "The [object or situation] was mad [obscure adjective]," the ubiquitous "yo" is a red flag of caucasianness, or at least non-blackness, or certainly anti-hipness. See also "haterade," "shizzle," and so on. One waves the flag to signal and suborn the anti-cool nature of the associated prose, but these days, "yo" and its ghetto-term relations sound tired even when uttered by actual ghetto residents.

    [undesirable conclusion]. Oy.
    Even more so than fake ghettospeak, fake Jewspeak has been completely drained of impact, which perversely has made it even more prevalent in media and blogs (due to the well-known Jewish control of both). "Oy" in particular is a universally pointless and fantastically lazy way to express discontent without actually saying anything.

    [amazed paraphrase of opposing position]. Seriously? Seriously?
    Deadly serious in fact. The prose equivalent of telling a bad joke, wiggling your eyebrows, and saying "Eh? Eh? Eh? Am I right?" to your readers.

    What's next? [outlandish scenario]?
    Take something you don't like, then imagine a nutty alternate universe where that thing is exaggerated beyond all reason. One must follow from the other, correct? Your rhetorical work here is done.

    I'm looking at you, [example of complaint].
    Has been known to cause actual outbreaks of hives. As if the thing/person "looked" at would react with a surprised and bashful "Who, me?". Puts the writer in the unflattering role (for all concerned) of pedantic schoolteacher addressing unruly children.

    Um, [condescension]?
    As a verbal tic in conversation, "um" is perfectly acceptable and often auditorially invisible. Written in prose, it signals a level of smarmy superiority that would get you rightly punched in the face if you dared behave like that in person.

    [Argument], wait for it, [rhetorical flourish].
    Where did this come from? Stage direction cues in the theater? No matter, it's a ridiculous tease and artificial tension builder that's never worth the wait.

    [Undesirable experience] made my [sensory organ] bleed.
    One hopes there are people who've actually had their eyes, ears, or other parts bleed in such situations, so they can use this expression in all clinical honesty. Beyond that, inexcusable.

    [adjective]-y goodness
    "Goodness" once might have served as a comical placeholder for sarcastic expressions of positivity, but now it exists in this construction purely to demonstrate the high-lariousness of the writer. A near cousin replaces "goodness" with a noun specific to the context, such as "his sexy backness."

    [any word]-gasm
    Not orgasmic in any respect, and long past funny or clever.

    [x] is the new [y].
    /r/reds

  5. #5
    Member smith288's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    LOL

    Nobody really "laughs" out loud. They should just have L for laugh.

  6. #6
    Member TeamCasey's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Chain mail!

    People sending me email telling me to forward it to 10 other people or the world will come to an end.
    Pots and Kettles

  7. #7
    Member smith288's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamCasey View Post
    Chain mail!

    People sending me email telling me to forward it to 10 other people or the world will come to an end.
    Totally...there should be a Snopes.com filter built into virus scanners.

    -A national gas fillup day doesnt do anything (in fact, hurts the local owner)
    -No emails can be tracked back to you to get you a certificate to buy Gap jeans or free Vista OS
    -No, thats not a pitcure of (insert latest hurricane here) approaching...its various thunderheads from the plains.
    -I know washington is full of crooks, but the email about all those crimes is not real...


    etc etc etc

  8. #8
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    I sometimes laugh out loud ..... and pee a little bit. Hey! I'm old.
    Pots and Kettles

  9. #9
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    I'm calling for a moratorium on "not so much", "X say hi", "loves me some X" and "threw up in my mouth a little".
    The widow is gathering nettles for her children's dinner; a perfumed seigneur, delicately lounging in the Oeil de Boeuf, hath an alchemy whereby he will extract the third nettle and call it rent. ~ Carlyle

  10. #10
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    {{{{{{{{{ Hug }}}}}}}}}}}

    I don't want to hug you. I don't know you!
    Pots and Kettles

  11. #11
    Hisssssssss Yachtzee's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    I enjoy LOLCats, but I know they'll have a short shelf-life and I will find them annoying soon enough. In the mean time, I'm enjoying the spin the cartoonist Ape Lad has put on it:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/apelad/...7600296941365/
    Burn down the disco. Hang the blessed DJ. Because the music that he constantly plays, it says nothing to me about my life.

  12. #12
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    At some point everything on the internet has bugged me. But what really bugs me is how few really well-written non-fiction BOOKS are being written by very smart folks with a lot of stuff to say. I know I sound like a grandpa, but good lord, is it too much to ask that when writing a work of non-fiction, you make the work about the SUBJECT instead of YOURSELF? Man, that's the worst. I don't care about you; I care about your subject.

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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Falls City Beer View Post
    At some point everything on the internet has bugged me. But what really bugs me is how few really well-written non-fiction BOOKS are being written by very smart folks with a lot of stuff to say. I know I sound like a grandpa, but good lord, is it too much to ask that when writing a work of non-fiction, you make the work about the SUBJECT instead of YOURSELF? Man, that's the worst. I don't care about you; I care about your subject.
    Por ejemplo
    The widow is gathering nettles for her children's dinner; a perfumed seigneur, delicately lounging in the Oeil de Boeuf, hath an alchemy whereby he will extract the third nettle and call it rent. ~ Carlyle

  14. #14
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Rojo View Post
    Por ejemplo
    I'll try not to derail the thread, but here are my examples, recent ones: The Black Swan: the Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nasim Taleb; Saxons, Vikings, and Celts by Brian Sykes.

    Interesting subjects if you can avoid the constantly-intruding narrator.

  15. #15
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Falls City Beer View Post
    I'll try not to derail the thread, but here are my examples, recent ones: The Black Swan: the Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nasim Taleb; Saxons, Vikings, and Celts by Brian Sykes.

    Interesting subjects if you can avoid the constantly-intruding narrator.
    Ah! The Black Swan is supposed to be this year's Tipping Point, which I never read. I'll stay away.
    The widow is gathering nettles for her children's dinner; a perfumed seigneur, delicately lounging in the Oeil de Boeuf, hath an alchemy whereby he will extract the third nettle and call it rent. ~ Carlyle


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