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Thread: Internet Pet Peeves :P

  1. #16
    Member wally post's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    I agree with chain mail - no matter how cool the concept, I don't do it. Computers are good because they erase with one flick of a switch!

    my written work (and spoken) is "irregardless". It's not a word. Regardless works just fine.

    I think folks who don't capitalize (like me sometimes) do it because they are firing off emails (work related in my case) that simply have to get out as fast as possible. I word processing program, when posting for instance and works immediately, would be cool to have.

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  3. #17
    The Lineups stink. KronoRed's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    To, Too, Two.
    Go Gators!

  4. #18
    Smells Like Teen Spirit jmcclain19's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    I heard you can catch "the gay" on the internet.

    So be careful.

  5. #19
    Resident optimist OldRightHander's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    The proliferation of "text speak". For Pete's sake, are you too lazy to just type the entire phrase?

  6. #20
    RZ Chamber of Commerce Unassisted's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Unassisted View Post
    The list in this thread captures many of mine.
    After re-reading the list I linked before, I've decided to quote it in full, since I like it even more now than when I first posted it.

    Best. [ultimate thing or experience.] Ever/Evar.
    Likely originating in the reverse ("worst [x] ever"), this cliché still has a deathgrip on the media, in all its sincere and sarcastic permutations. It's usually taken to mean a state of permanent, perpetual bestness, which is of course unsustainable. Sooner or later, something will not be the best [x] ever, and this phrase is a perfect example.

    [undesirable counter-example], not so much.
    The punchline that ends a thousand million columns and blog posts. Weak as the lightest of lite beers, or the puny farts you get from such beer.

    FTW, O RLY, lol, FTL, OMG, FWIW, btw, PWND, ROTFL, etc.
    These are borderline acceptable if you're instant messaging, speed-typing while online gaming, or expressing approval of a pornographic image posted to your favorite kink forum. Beyond that, stop it. Even if your audience uses these expressions in daily life, such practice should not be encouraged. Self-consciously peppering normal discourse with geekspeak acronyms (especially when used in conjunction with non-geek subjects) no longer rescues your words by way of anti-coolness. See also: "teh" anything.

    [negative experience, situation, or description]; I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
    In a rare sane move, most writers realize this one is dead, and thus avoid it. However, only when "threw up in my mouth" is completely exterminated from the world consciousness may we all rest in peace.

    [purposefully non-ghetto statement], yo.
    Often used in conjunction other ghetto nonfabulous phrases like "Oh snap!" and "The [object or situation] was mad [obscure adjective]," the ubiquitous "yo" is a red flag of caucasianness, or at least non-blackness, or certainly anti-hipness. See also "haterade," "shizzle," and so on. One waves the flag to signal and suborn the anti-cool nature of the associated prose, but these days, "yo" and its ghetto-term relations sound tired even when uttered by actual ghetto residents.

    [undesirable conclusion]. Oy.
    Even more so than fake ghettospeak, fake Jewspeak has been completely drained of impact, which perversely has made it even more prevalent in media and blogs (due to the well-known Jewish control of both). "Oy" in particular is a universally pointless and fantastically lazy way to express discontent without actually saying anything.

    [amazed paraphrase of opposing position]. Seriously? Seriously?
    Deadly serious in fact. The prose equivalent of telling a bad joke, wiggling your eyebrows, and saying "Eh? Eh? Eh? Am I right?" to your readers.

    What's next? [outlandish scenario]?
    Take something you don't like, then imagine a nutty alternate universe where that thing is exaggerated beyond all reason. One must follow from the other, correct? Your rhetorical work here is done.

    I'm looking at you, [example of complaint].
    Has been known to cause actual outbreaks of hives. As if the thing/person "looked" at would react with a surprised and bashful "Who, me?". Puts the writer in the unflattering role (for all concerned) of pedantic schoolteacher addressing unruly children.

    Um, [condescension]?
    As a verbal tic in conversation, "um" is perfectly acceptable and often auditorially invisible. Written in prose, it signals a level of smarmy superiority that would get you rightly punched in the face if you dared behave like that in person.

    [Argument], wait for it, [rhetorical flourish].
    Where did this come from? Stage direction cues in the theater? No matter, it's a ridiculous tease and artificial tension builder that's never worth the wait.

    [Undesirable experience] made my [sensory organ] bleed.
    One hopes there are people who've actually had their eyes, ears, or other parts bleed in such situations, so they can use this expression in all clinical honesty. Beyond that, inexcusable.

    [adjective]-y goodness
    "Goodness" once might have served as a comical placeholder for sarcastic expressions of positivity, but now it exists in this construction purely to demonstrate the high-lariousness of the writer. A near cousin replaces "goodness" with a noun specific to the context, such as "his sexy backness."

    [any word]-gasm
    Not orgasmic in any respect, and long past funny or clever.

    [x] is the new [y].
    /r/reds

  7. #21
    Just The Big Picture macro's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Emails with subject lines that begin with "Fwd:FW:FW:Fwd:Fwd:FW:" and with contents where every line begins with ">>>>>>>", making the text virtually unreadable. Whatever little funny/inspiring story it is can easily be found on the Web and copied and pasted into a new email, so if it's not important/inspiring/funny enough to take a minute to send it properly, I ain't reading it.
    Last edited by macro; 06-16-2007 at 12:41 AM.

  8. #22
    Please come again pedro's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by OldRightHander View Post
    The proliferation of "text speak". For Pete's sake, are you too lazy to just type the entire phrase?
    why yes, YIAM.
    Get your nunchucks and the keys to your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun

  9. #23
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Falls City Beer View Post
    I'll try not to derail the thread, but here are my examples, recent ones: The Black Swan: the Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nasim Taleb; Saxons, Vikings, and Celts by Brian Sykes.

    Interesting subjects if you can avoid the constantly-intruding narrator.
    Ah! The Black Swan is supposed to be this year's Tipping Point, which I never read. I'll stay away.
    The widow is gathering nettles for her children's dinner; a perfumed seigneur, delicately lounging in the Oeil de Boeuf, hath an alchemy whereby he will extract the third nettle and call it rent. ~ Carlyle

  10. #24
    You're being very UnDude. sonny's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    DiHydrogen Oxide. That stuff will kill you.
    Witty signature.

  11. #25
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Internet Pet Peeves :P

    pop-ups. Give me a break! Do you actually think I am interested in whatever you're trying to force in front of my face? If nothing else, it turns me off to your product.

    And the warnings you sometimes get that say "Your computer may be infected with spyware. Click here."

    Has anyone ever clicked? Not me.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations


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