So we've got the trade deadline looming and I'm thinking we can come up with far more radical trade suggestions than anything that's going to happen in real life.

I'm not really looking for assessments for how realistic a trade idea is, a snowball's chance in hell will do. Let's face it, any trade idea we post is automatically unrealistic because we don't run the team.

What I'm really looking for is some quality dung flinging. You never know what'll stick on the wall.

Here's one makeover idea:

Josh Hamilton, Alex Gonzalez and Johnny Cueto to the Blue Jays for Armando Rios and, if you can pry him loose by upgrading to Cueto, Curtis Thigpen.

J.P. Ricciardi desperately needs a SS. Cueto's red hot these days and the Jays lack LH power. Rios, probably untouchable, strikes me a likely prototype for a Krivsky kind of player.

Ken Griffey Jr. to the Mets for Carlos Gomez

The Mets aren't scoring enough and that franchise surely wants to a World Series this year. Plus, Jr. gives them the backpages on the daily rags for the rest of the season. Bat plus box office for a franchise that can afford to trade an OF prospect. If the Mets want some extra pitching, I'm perfectly willing to kick in Kyle Lohse, an arm Rick Peterson might be able to soup up and perhaps a good fit for Shea, if they'll kick in Phil Humber, who's having his issues in AAA (he might make a fascinating closer candidate if he can't pull it together as a starter).

Ryan Freel to the Pirates for Brian Bixler

The Pirates surely have to be worried about their scrappiness. They're also 13th in the NL in swipes. Now, they could deal Jack Wilson and play Bixler and that would add scrappiness and speed, but they won't do that. Freel's got legendary scrappiness. He's a one-man ESPN highlight reel. The Bucs will be so excited they won't even notice they're trading a younger version of Freel, one that can play shortstop, for Freel.