Why Men Can't Win

[GAC]

SF sent me this. How so true.

Why Men Can't Win

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you *******. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

[Red in Chicago]

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.[/SIZE][/FONT]

What's this thing called a headache:

[TeamCasey]

And don't you forget it!

[Yachtzee]

That's what Adrian told Rocky anyway.

[camisadelgolf]

I heard about a study involving the differences between men and women. There were two separate rooms--one full of men, the other full of women. What none of them knew was that they were each given a puzzle to complete that was impossible. The end result was that the women said, "We can't do it. We must not be smart enough," and the men said, "We can't do it. The puzzle's impossible." The conclusion they drew was that when something goes wrong, women are more likely to blame themselves. I think the more important thing to take from the study is that the men were more correct.

[Falls City Beer]

I heard about a study involving the differences between men and women. There were two separate rooms--one full of men, the other full of women. What none of them knew was that they were each given a puzzle to complete that was impossible. The end result was that the women said, "We can't do it. We must not be smart enough," and the men said, "We can't do it. The puzzle's impossible." The conclusion they drew was that when something goes wrong, women are more likely to blame themselves. I think the more important thing to take from the study is that the men were more correct.

Or that men like to blame things other than themselves when they fail.

That's why we keep women around--Helen of Troy, Clytemnestra, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Lady Macbeth,--a cornucopia of excuses right there! A man doesn't need a maid; a man needs a scapegoat.

[camisadelgolf]

Or that men like to blame things other than themselves when they fail.

That's why we keep women around--Helen of Troy, Clytemnestra, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Lady Macbeth,--a cornucopia of excuses right there! A man doesn't need a maid; a man needs a scapegoat.

Humor aside, that's actually another one of the conclusions they had.

[Falls City Beer]

Humor aside, that's actually another one of the conclusions they had.

Absolutely. Men never blame themselves for their own shortcomings; it's a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it means that men are pretty persistent. A curse because men seldom improve their methods, thinking they've been right the whole time.

[WMR]

Absolutely. Men never blame themselves for their own shortcomings; it's a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it means that men are pretty persistent. A curse because men seldom improve their methods, thinking they've been right the whole time.

There's so much to be said right here, but it all could be said only in the peanut gallery...

[KittyDuran]

Absolutely. Men never blame themselves for their own shortcomings; it's a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it means that men are pretty persistent. A curse because men seldom improve their methods, thinking they've been right the whole time.

My Dad is never wrong and has never said he's sorry...

[RFS62]

Women control 99% of the sex and all of the money.

What else is there?

[Spring~Fields]

Or that men like to blame things other than themselves when they fail.

That's why we keep women around--Helen of Troy, Clytemnestra, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Lady Macbeth,--a cornucopia of excuses right there! A man doesn't need a maid; a man needs a scapegoat.

Don't forget Eve !

[RollyInRaleigh]

Women control 99% of the sex and all of the money.

What else is there?

Baseball

[camisadelgolf]

Why is it when my girlfriend asks me to open a closet and find something, I can't find it for the life of me? Eventually, she gets fed up, walks over, and finds what she told me to get within two seconds as if it were a bright, neon-glowing, life-size, pure-gold statue of the Eiffel Tower. If I find it, then I just did what I was asked to do. If I don't find it, I'm dumber than the guy who put a Major League Baseball team in Montreal.

When she asks me to grab something out of the refrigerator, it could take me 20 minutes to find what she asked me to find, but it's like her hand is made of metal, and the bag of lettuce has some major magnetic pull. Sometimes, I think she asks me to find things for her in an attempt to humble me.

[KittyDuran]

Why is it when my girlfriend asks me to open a closet and find something, I can't find it for the life of me? Eventually, she gets fed up, walks over, and finds what she told me to get within two seconds as if it were a bright, neon-glowing, life-size, pure-gold statue of the Eiffel Tower. If I find it, then I just did what I was asked to do. If I don't find it, I'm dumber than the guy who put a Major League Baseball team in Montreal.

When she asks me to grab something out of the refrigerator, it could take me 20 minutes to find what she asked me to find, but it's like her hand is made of metal, and the bag of lettuce has some major magnetic pull. Sometimes, I think she asks me to find things for her in an attempt to humble me.

Hmmm... I call it "marriage training"....